Yes, all that nonsense a few months back about the dead Big Foot in the deep freeze was nothing compared to what we witnessed today at the hockey rink. Big Foot hales from Tucson! He’s only twelve years old and not all of his full-body hair has grown in yet. He is quite talented on the ice… not like some awkward kids beasts who grew too fast and have yet to develop coordination. I even have untouched photographic proof for you to witness right here at MSJ.
I appologize about the photo quality of the action shot. Seems I don’t have a Sports Illustrated quality camera. I did get a few clear semi-still shots.
Here is Big Foot pictured with my son who is 4’11″ tall. See??? When the kids from our team would try to check him, they just bounced off and down on the ice they went. Austin tried to check him and take him down, but he said it was impossible. I suggested some Three Stooges moves where one player goes down on his hands and knees behind Big Foot and another player pushed from the front.. but no one listens to a mom behind the glass.
Unfortunately for us, Big Foot’s team took the first place ribbons at the tournament. We took second. But we did give them a good ride. Now don’t go thinking I’m prejudiced about larger-than-life people. I would love it if Big Foot was on our team! And if he was my kid, I’d cheer just as loudly when he pushes the little kids down and lays on them…. paralyzing them on the ice. He has a hard slapshot that rang the beegeebeez out of the boards and with some accuracy practice would inflict even more pain on opposing teams.
Austin did us proud and emerged unscathed, except for a few bruises and sore spots from encounters with Big Foot.
If you want to call the National Enquirer, I’m available for blog interviews about my Big Foot sighting starting tomorrow.