All By Myself… don’t wanna be…

All by myself
Anymore

OK, it’s not true, but my kids think that I know a song for every occasion and I didn’t want to disappoint them.  Yes, I’m all by myself.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but ahhhhhhhh the feeling of no responsibility…. no children to feed…. no agenda… no guitar hero to listen to.  Mother’s truly enjoy the simple things in life. 

My husband went with our son Austin to the grade 5-6 trip to Disneyland.  They left today after church and get home on Tuesday night.  So it was supposed to be me, Larisa and Keeve.  Two hours before church we got the distress call that the nanny couldn’t go to Disneyland for the teacher’s two little girls, so Larisa was called in for Disneyland nanny duty.  (tough life)  So it was supposed to be me and Keeve.  But yesterday Keeve got invited to a Diamondback’s baseball game.. and for a sleepover… which turned into two sleepovers.  Whoooo Hooooo!

I’m sure you’re wondering WHAT does a mother do for 24 hours of alone time?  From church I went straight to Baja Fresh.  Nothing sings freedom like grilled mahi mahi tacos.  From there I drove to the Teacher’s Store because I had a coupon that expires today and there’s always things there that I need… like a planner for the Fall.  But, much to my sheer shock… the store is closed down!  The sign on the door said “Come visit our other stores in NM and UT.”  Whatever.

On to the 99 cent store.  (Where is the blasted cent sign on the keyboard?)  They have sunscreen so I was all about that stop.  Austin spent Friday on the lake and even though he looks like a lobster, I know he used up the entire tube of sunscreen that I sent.  You can’t beat $.99 for sunscreen.  And again, adding to my disappointment for the day… they no longer carry Sesame Oil!  Heaven forbid!  I’m going to have to pay Walmart prices now for sesame oil for Chinese Chicken Salad.  Bummer dude.

On to TJ Maxx.  This store was sadly unerstocked in every area I searched, with the exception of purses.  Their purses ROCK, but I couldn’t justify two purse purchases in the same month.  (But it’s June tomorrow!)

On to Marshall’s.  Rock on at Marshall’s.  I FOUND ZAZA’S PURPLE BUTTERFLY BEDDING….. ON CLEARANCE!  If that isn’t a miracle I don’t know what is!  Marked down from $75 to $36.  It was truly a sign from on high that she is coming home soon and it was the heaven-ordained time to purchase her butterfly bedding.  In the cart the quilt and pillow sham went.  On to clothing.  Oh my word.  They actually had 8 bras in my size that I could try on…. truly the second sign from heaven in the same store.  It almost washed away the anxiety from the teacher store closing.  THEN there were multiple pants that I also loved…  So, after trying on 19 items in the now over-heated dressing room, I had some decisions to make.

Rick’s manly voice of warning from this morning at the breakfast table came blasting through my mind, “Now don’t go all crazy buying clothes while I’m gone.”  Brother.  Like he’s tele-pathetic or something.  We all know that “All crazy” means hundreds of dollars.  And I knew with the current list of money-sucking activities in the next few weeks, Rick would not see the beautiful butterfly bedding as the sweet sign from God that I did.  I’m sure Rick could find a blanket in the linen closet that he would think was perfect for Zaza’s bed.  NOT Happening!  So, I narrowed the purchases to a pair of pants that can be converted to capris (2 fer 1) and a bra.  All necessities.  How could he argue?  (quite easily actually).

Sensing that my sugar levels were at an all time low from over-exertion in the dressing room, I refueled at Starbucks with a Double Chocolate Chip Mint frappuccino.  I counted it as dinner.  That’s a cheap dinner, even for Rick.  Then again, no it’s not.  Costco has a dog and a pop for $1.50. Anyway,  I’m home and it’s eerily quiet around here.  Maybe I’ll see if I can beat my guitar hero Hit Me With Your Best Shot score.  NAH!

Another Day in the Acapulco Dress

Seriously, it is my summer-I’m-not-leaving-the-house uniform.  It’s a black cotton tank dress that is the epitome of comfort… not style, at all.  We all have one… but not all say Acapulco on the front.  My kids don’t need to ask if we’re going anywhere when they see me sporting the Acapulco dress.  It’s the sign.  We’re staying put.  My dad used to put on a red t-shirt and white shorts and all of us kids knew to get in the station wagon for a trip to Canada.  Traditions die hard!

OK, not a smart move on my part, but the day after a minor out-patient surgery I decided to move furniture.  Dumb, I now know.  Seems lipomas (benign fatty tumors) run in our family and so I joined the fun and had a few removed from my neck.  It really was minor… until I moved the living room and dining room furniture, which, by the way, includes all 25 of my stuffed-to-the-gills 12×12 scrapbooks.  Good grief, they are heavy.  The new room arrangement looks decent.  It’s hard to “decorate” a long narrow room and make it inviting and cozy, but I gave it a valiant effort… with stitches in my neck.  Like I said, I now know how dumb that was. 

This morning, three days post-op, I dropped off son #1 for a day at the lake of water skiing, boogie-boarding, jet skiing and tubing and then stopped by Wally World for milk, eggs and fruit.  (OK, and I bought some flowers to plant… BUT I’m not planting them for a few more days.)  Anyway, my strength was zapped by the car ride home at 8:45 a.m. where I discovered son #2 and daughter #1 still sleeping and it about did me in to carry in the groceries. 

So, I’ve finished reading a book today, took two naps, watched two movies and wrote a blog.  It’s 8:31 p.m. and I’m ready for bed.  I’m hoping for renewed strength tomorrow and planting-flower energy.  But they can wait if I need to nap again.

My advice to the world from my vast post-op experience, sit on the couch and do nothing the day after surgery.  Have your children wait on you.  Get drive-through food.  Forget the laundry.  Forget the dishes.  And most importantly, don’t move furniture!

One in Every Generation

There has to be at least one genealogy-happy person in each generation to keep the family heritage alive and growing.  I am it for my generation of Nikander children.  I have a brother, a sister and two guy cousins….NONE of which is even slightly interested in old fuzzy photos, dusty family Bibles or traipsing through cemeteries to take pictures of headstones.  I am it. (Stop rolling your eyes, Christy.)

Somewhere in my journeys I saw a beautiful photo display wall of all the the female ancestors of some such person, whom I forget the identity of at present.  It inspired me.  About eight years back I painstakingly copied all the old family photos that I could get my grubby little hands on and started a heritage scrapbook album.  But still in the back of my mind, I could see the wall of women… women who carried on family names and traditions.   Fast forward to about two years back when I found a darling oval frame with a mat that could hold seven pictures.  I envisioned my female ancestors looking out from those holes.  I brought it home, painted over the glittery silver finish with a flat off-white and hung the frame on the wall….. waiting for the photos.

The photos that I gathered were ALL the wrong size.  So the empty frame hung on my wall for years.  (yes, I know, embarrassing.)  Then I read a story from the book Welcome to the Funny Farm about a blank frame on that author’s wall… and I got things in motion once again.  On Memorial Day, this past Monday, my dear father scanned, re-sized, touched up and got my seven matronly photos to fit my framed mat.  Thanks, Dad.  In honor of dear old dad, I decided to put my Paternal Female Ancestors in the frame, being that I happened to have seven pictures.

So, yesterday I had out-patient surgery to remove some fatty lipomas from my neck, that were obviously lost and never found my backside.  So today, I finally printed the names and dates of the dear ladies and finished the eight year project. Ta Da!  I love it.  I realize what a treasure it is to have Great Great Great Grandmother pictures…. and I’m hoping and praying that someday I can give this to the solitary person in the next generation who will love and appreciate it too.  I’m thinking it might be my niece, Katelyn.  Since she was two she was fascinated with who was whose sister, mother, daughter.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  She called me once to ask what percentage of nationalities she was.  See!  I’m the only one with the valuable, treasured information for the next generation.

Small Things Amaze Small Minds

Here is a list of the current things amusing the three men in my home:  (ages 42, 12 & 10)

1.  Recording their voices speaking low and slow into a hand held tape recorder and playing it back at fast and slow speeds.  Seriously, they are killing themselves laughing right now… all three of them.  It makes them talk like Yoda     with    spaces    between    the    words.

2.  Sucking helium balloons and talking like Mickey Mouse.  We were at my niece’s jr. high graduation and they stole the decorations and sucked air in the van all the way home.  And they ALWAYS yell in the squeaky voice, “I’m going to Disneyland!”

3.  Laughing like clowns in funny vibrato voices until everyone is laughing.  Keeve is the master at this one.  He sounds like Woody Woodpecker having an attack of the laughs.

Here is a list of the current things amusing the two women in my home: (ages 43 & 15)

1.  Asking Rick over and over why we have to drive 5 miles to pick up free flea treatment for our dog that doesn’t have fleas.  Seriously, I asked him this three or four times and he was getting mad at me, because he was distracted and doing something else on the computer at the time, and didn’t realize I was egging him on.  Larisa and I thought it was hilarious.  I kept saying, “But she doesn’t have fleas!”  He kept insisting, “But we take her places!” 

2.  Listening to Rick explain how he knew he was eating macaroni and cheese because he saw the box!  I told Larisa it was perfectly al dente and Rick refused to believe me… IT WAS MAC-N-CHEESE….. not al dente… HE SAW the BOX!  He was not going to be fooled by his women!  Again, Larisa and I couldn’t stop laughing…. at my dear husband’s expense.

Never a dull moment here at the Crosby house.

Love is in the Air (over at my parent’s house)

This is how the story went down starting last Tuesday…. I was over at my parent’s home watering their flowers at 10:00 at night (because we all know plants are able to soak up so much more water without the blistering sunshine).  My mom and dad’s back yard has a nice sized covered patio then a cozy pool with a waterfall of large stones on the far side in front of the iron fence that looks out over a ravine of trees and cacti.  (whew) On that particular night, there was a STRANGE nature-made noise that was a cross between a cicada buzz and a whirling bird and it was SO LOUD that it hurt my ears.  I sprayed the hose over the fence to see if that would shut it up, but no, it simply moved over to avoid the onslaught.  I even called my kids to the backyard to hear the vibrating shrill melody…. and they were just as amazed as I was at the volume.

Last night I picked my parents up at the airport and transported them back to their noisy sanctuary.  And yes, the noise was still offending those who desired to sleep at night.  Mom and I went out to the patio to listen at close range.  It was even louder than Tuesday night.  Unbelievably loud.  I kept my fingers in my ears.  No joke.  THEN I saw something move on the waterfall boulders.  Creep me out.  I ran inside to grab a flashlight and now my dad was on his way to the patio too.  It was frogs!  Several frogs!  Calling to one another in sweet romantic interludes of joy.  I followed them with the flashlight as they swam around in the pool.  Man, they’re fast!  Dad scooped them with the net and sent them on a one-way flying trip into the ravine.  He flung about 3 or 4 of the slower ones.  The faster, trickier ones were hiding among the boulders of the waterfall.

Mom and I were enjoying the show from the patio when I glanced down to see two frogs right next to us who had obviously been playing leap frog, but the leaper didn’t make it all the way over and was stuck on top of the bottom frog  (insert candlelight and light jazz music here).  But did they enjoy a casual evening of love? No!  They got screaming women and a flashlight beam blinding them in the middle of their leap frog game.  I’ve never seen a little frog hold on so tight as the big, fat bottom frog was hopping around trying to avoid mom, me and the laser light show.  I could see his little skinny arms clinging firmly for his dear green life…. and I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.  Yes, they escaped unscathed under the cupboard where the pool chemicals are kept. 

Silence descended on the love oasis and the three of us returned inside.  Lo and behold, not ten minutes later the amorous signing started up again with a vengeance.  Unbelievable!  Mom and Dad needed earplugs in order to fall asleep.  See, love is in the air.

When the Cat’s Away…

Rick is in Houston at Flight Safety.  Never in his 9 years of flying for the state has he been this excited about flying the simulator in Texas.  His plane has been grounded since February and he’s been sitting in a cube in the aeronautics department.  I don’t think there could’ve been a greater shock to his system.  From the clear blue skies of AZ… lunch at a different Mexican restaurant around the state every day…. “safety” naps EVERY day…. to sitting in a cubicle doing data entry.  Boy, howdy, does he miss flying.  Rumor has it that flying might resume in the summer.  We’re thankful he still has a job, but this is tremendously cramping his style.

That’s not what I’m writing about, however.  Rick goes to Flight Safety twice a year, giving us the opportunity here at the home front to get down to taking care of business in a flash.  That was Elvis’ motto, if ya didn’t know…. TCB!  Here’s the tail of Elvis’ plane, the Lisa Marie, to show you….

Usually we rid his closet of nerdy, stained, out-of-date and unacceptable clothing items.  We have also emptied the garage of his nerdy, stained, out-of-date and unacceptable items during Flight Safety.  Once we did a room makeover and made the Elvis bathroom.  Rick’s been gone since Tuesday morning and we still haven’t figured out what to do…. leaving not much time… about 28 hours.  But OH!  You should see what we can do with 28 hours!  We’re simply lacking in the idea department. 

Here are the only glimpses of brilliance that came to mind, but they are not ingenious enough to prompt action:  sell his VHS movie collection on eBay, or sell his floor clean equipment that he bought and never used and is taking up 1/5 of the garage where my van should be parked out of the sun in Phoenix, Arizona, …..  see, nothing inspiring.  I also thought of rearranging the living room furniture, but there aren’t a lot of options with the shape of the room.  So, if you have ANY ideas, send them quickly.  The minutes are ticking away.

HOW1 is Done!

The last Konos History of the World 1 class ended today (Ancient Civilizations through the founding of Rome, in case you’re wondering).  I’m happy and I’m sad.  I’m happy because it was nine grueling months of trying to stay ahead of three high schoolers.  Let’s just say, it was also my first time through Mesopotamia, Sumeria, the Promise Land and Greece.  I read more literature on the subject this year than the rest of my life all added up.  I’m so smart now… ask me anything about hoplites, mastabas, murex snails, and chitons.  Then again, as any good teacher would say, “Look it up.”  I never could figure that out… if you don’t know how to spell a word, how can you look it up????  Please!

I’m sad because I love this course and I’m not teaching the HOW2 class next year.  Our little Zaza will hopefully be here consuming large amounts of my time.  But I do love the Konos curriculum because it engages every style of learner, especially the hands-on type.  Our 10th grader will still be taking it, but not in a class setting, and we all know how consistency is improved with peer pressure!  Or student pressure as the case may be.

We will have our final gathering, Greek Night, on Saturday night and then after grading the final projects I’m officially done with school for three months… but like I said before, who’s counting??? (besides ME!)  This is always a joyous time for me as a homeschooling mom.  This wraps up our ninth year of teaching our kids at home… and I still L-O-V-E  it.  With the HOW1 course, this is the first year that I have felt somewhat successful when the year is over.  As homeschool moms, we know what we could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done better… after the fact.  But with teaching the HOW class with OTHER people’s kids, I really made sure we studied all the goodies.  Ahhhhhh.  I can already feel the load lightening.  Sweet relief.

And yes, I’ve started reading Quo Vadis already for next year.  You can never start reading that gigantic book too soon.

Oh, and please pray for Jessica Hulcy, the author of Konos.  She was in a car accident yesterday and has multiple injuries.  Thanks!

Four More Days (but who’s counting?)

We are in the final stretch here at L.A.K.E. Academy, Crosby’s homeschool for exceptional children.  L.A.K.are the initials of our first three children…. (Larisa, Austin and Keeve) and our adopted daughter’s name better start with an E or it will throw off the whole acronym.  If not, oh well.  It would also fit right in with what we’ve got goin’ on with birthdays if her special day is in either August or December.  We already have Sep. , Oct. and Nov.  AND if she didn’t like pickles and loved Chinese Chicken Salad, she’s gonna be real happy here.  I probably should have put dance-off pictures into her Introduction Photo Album, so she knows what’s coming.  But that might be scary… pictures of people dancing always look strange.  No matter what her name, her likes/dislikes, her bday, WE CAN’T WAIT for her to get home.

Our family calendar is always stuffed to the gills with drama, church, hockey, scrapbooking, etc., but it is oddly blank this July and August.  School starts for Larisa on Aug. 20th, but other than that, we are WIDE open for traveling to Colombia!  My speaking trips don’t pick up again until mid-Sept. and Rick actually has enough holiday time saved for 5 weeks!  In my little mind, July and August would be PERFECT…. leaving Phoenix at the hottest time and spending time in much cooler Bogota.  Ahhhhh.  But, we will rejoice and be glad no matter God’s timing in bringing Zaza home.  Just hurry up, for Pete’s sake.  And our sake.

I pulled out the International Adoption book again to give myself a refresher on traveling.  It’s much easier the second time through as everything is highlighted.  This book has ALL the answers… and if not, it tells you where to look to find the answers.  There are several Colombian adoption stories told which make ours seem more visible somehow.  And my Colombian travel guide is my current bathroom reading book.  So much to know!

Blog buddy, Kelly, at whatweareherefor.blogspot.com found out their little GG (God’s Gift) is in Cali.  I’m thrilled for them.  They are also awaiting a referral, but have been assigned to a Casa Privada, private adoption home.  I would LOVE to know what region we will be going to.  There are so many unknowns at this point. 

Thankfully for Rick, I don’t know Zaza’s size or I would have filled the dresser and closet long ago.  I look at the frilly, little “birthday cake” dresses and have to refrain because we have no clue of Zaza’s size.  Oh, but when I find out…… look out!  I might even bring Grandma to help me shop!  And Larisa!  And Auntie Julie!  And cousin Whitney!  I found this darling little brown and pink bling bling t-shirt once and Larisa told me, “Don’t buy it mom.  If you do then Zaza will be chubby and it will be too small.”  So that is our family joke when we are in the girl’s department!  “Don’t!  She’ll be chubby!”  Not that it matters, but you know us…. code phrases for everything that throw us into fits of laughter.

Bonus Points for Kid #3

My third child should write a book titled “How to Score BIG Points with your Mom.”  He has perfected this task as seen in the above photo.  Keeve was in the produce section at Walmart one day, and instead of making a necklace out of the twist-ties like usual, he happened upon the large, rotating, wire rack of recipe cards.  Keep in mind that he is ten years old…. and a boy.  To his delight, he found one for a Fruit Smoothie and removed it from the rack.  He carefully read the ingredients and looked in my grocery cart to verify that I had inadvertently gathered all the necessary items…. without telling me.  He’s so sneaky.  Strawberries… check.  Bananas… check.  Milk… check.  Yogurt… check.  Then he asked, “Mom, what is ar-ta-fish-ul sweetener?”  He’s so cute.

Since that fateful day at Wally World, Keeve has perfected every type of fruit smoothie imaginable.  And being that he gets excited and keeps adding fruitful goodness and ice cubes, the smoothie never fits in one tall glass.  There are always left-overs…. for mom.  Who else?  I think I’m his favorite person… right after the group Kutless.  (Goodness, the misssspelling drives me knuts.)

Every night after we pray together, I kiss each of the kids and whisper in all of their ears, “You’re my favorite.  Don’t tell the others.”  :^}  And they know full well that I do it to each one of their siblings, but it still brings a smile to their darling, freckled faces.

Marriage… it’s the real thing.

Isn’t it cute?  This is the tentative cover art for my next book that should be coming out in August/September.  It’s #2 in the Laughing series…. Laughing in the midst of Marriage.  Lord knows I’ve been given a boatload of writing material by being married to Rickey.  This one seemed to be easier to write than the mothering one.  I’m not quite sure why???  I guess that old adage “second time’s a charm” is true. 

It’s quite exciting to hold your own book in your weary writing hands for the first time.  I’m so looking forward to it.  Truly scrumptious.

I’m speaking at a marriage conference this weekend… so please pray if you’re the praying type.  Hey, I suggest you try it, even if you aren’t the praying type.  I have plenty of entertaining stories to tell, but WHAT really is the key to a great marriage?  I’m not sure I’m supposed to answer that, but this type of conference really makes you stop and think, “What HAS held us together for 22 years?”  Undoubtedly, it’s the Lord.  We would have killed each other long ago had we not been God-fearing souls.  As we daily give up SELF and focus on serving others, it’s really a no-brainer.  That’s the problem right there… when my brain gets involved.  Why am I so selfish?  Those are the days when I’M fully in control and have forgotten to surrender to the Lord.  Jesus, help us!

www.LindaCrosby.com