NOT a Narc Addict…. OK!

Today, I was asked to sign a narcotics form at my doctor’s office…. promising that I would not call the doctor after hours and beg for refills, or pester the pharmacist for early refills, or ever say that my drugs were lost/stolen/eaten by the dog, or ever hoard my drugs.  They asked for my pharmacy name and made me sign my name on a line that said this is the SOLE pharmacy that I would get my drugs at.  I think I’m being profiled as a middle class, white, female prescription drug addict.

It was probably not a good move on my part to show up at the doctor’s office without makeup and with bed head….. in hindsight, I understand her shifty eyes and concern.  She’s never seen me without makeup or jewelry.  I guess I might have looked like a junkie… begging for pain meds.

She would not give me any vicodin.  I understand that….. I just finished telling her that I had taken my last vicodin pill.  So she switched me to another narcotic that is less powerful, but not less addicting.  Like I’m addicted!  I took 15 pills over a period of a month for dental pain.  That’s half a pill a day, not what I would call addicted.  And I took eight of them the first week!  So that left me seven pills for three weeks! 

Needless to say, I felt somewhat humbled today.  I called my dear husband and told him I had to sign up for Narcs Anonymous today.  He scared me by asking if the sheet said they send a copy to the police!?!  Um, no, it didn’t mention law enforcement.  And yes, I read the whole thing!  Every word, because I found it amusing that I was required to sign it.  It also taught me interesting facts about addictive behaviors… I never thought of some of those ideas before today!  My dog ate the pills!  Pffft!  The dog would be in a coma for weeks!  And the pills smell and taste horrible… I don’t think our picky dog would even be tempted!

After the doctor I went to Target at 2:00 pm to fill the script for the six pills to get me through two more days of dental pain.  Guess what?  They take their lunch at 2:00 pm.  So my new drugs would not be ready for an hour.  I needed a nap!  So I went home without my new pills that the doctor is hoping I’m not addicted to.  I never went back and got them.  See!  I’m not addicted, …. OK!?

I understand hoarding scrapbooking supplies and fabric… but not outdated prescription drugs.  Good grief.

I Gave In!

If you’ve been reading MSJ since June of 2008, you will remember our trip south of the border for my husband’s Mexican tooth.  It has served him well these past two years… while dental prices in Arizona have GONE THROUGH THE ROOF!  Unbelievable.  Yes, I need some dental work: two root canals, one build-up and three crowns.  The price at my tidy little dentist here in suburbia could also buy a car!  I actually cried when they handed me the estimate. 

For goodness sakes!  We are saving every penny for our adoption…. we don’t have thousands and thousands stashed away for new teeth.  And this was WITH dental insurance.  So, I gave in.  It is less than 1/5 of the price to go to Los Algodones to a Mexican endodontist and dentist.  They do all the work in one day now too!  In-n-out!  BAM!  All done.  It’s a three-hour drive and we invited friends to go with us.  A little Mexican vacation.  Our friend is jumping on the Mexican dental bandwagon too. 

My appointment is at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.  God be with me!  Viva Mexico!

Here’s the gate to non-dental pain.  Please bring your passport if you want to return home when the deed is done.  :o)

Ironic… I think not

This has been a week of ups and downs, trials and tears, blessings and a birthday.  When my life gets busy I don’t spend much time reading the 1850′s prairie fiction stories that I love.  I should, they help me escape and relax.  As the tension in my shoulders/neck was building before our adoption referral, I made a decidedly wise decision to make time for pleasure reading.  After perusing the NEW section at the library, I came home victorious with two brand new books from authors I haven’t read before.  It does my heart good to find new authors who write well and can keep my pages turning with interest.  

One such book was The Promise of Morning by Ann Shorey.  The cover sucked me in.  Pretty blonde girl with tendrils floating in the prairie breeze… olive calico dress… front porch laden home behind a field of cadmium blooms.  The plot had many twists that I didn’t see coming, which I prefer.  Nothing worse than predicting the entire story right from the get go.  Last night I was within reach of the final chapter…. anticipating what happened to Aunt Ruby… wondering about the mysterious Mrs. Bolden… and hoping Ellie would find her self with-child.

Then BAM!  The story took another unexpected turn that hit a little too close to home for me this week.  The circuit riding preacher finds a little brown-eyed, black-haired, 7-year-old orphan on a dock in Ohio.  Yes, I thought of Nora…. our daughter of 72 hours.  He brought her home to his family and she stayed close by his side, for fear of abandonment.  {sigh}  She brought with her a bundle of clothes with a lavender sachet and a well-traveled doll…. get this… named Nora.  Yes, I couldn’t believe it either!  The same name as the brown-eyed, black-haired, 7-year-old referral we received a week ago.  Through a sequence of events the reader also learns at this point in the story that Ellie, the main character, is a nickname for Eleanor.  We had passed around the idea of naming Nora Eleanora after my mother’s middle name, Eleanor. 

Ironic, I think not.  Yes, Lord, I will continue to pray for Nora and her forever family!

While I’m Waiting

I believe I’ve mentioned before here on MSJ that I’m not real fond of waiting.  But here we go again.  Adoption is a true test of trust because you have absolutely no control AT ALL as to when things happen.  I’m sure God looks down at me and laughs saying, “Look!  She’s counting on the calendar again…. like she knows when things are going to happen! HAHAHAHA!”  In a loving way, of course. 

I phoned my husband today to tell him the latest news of what happens to our adoption file now.  I went through the steps and gave him my expected dates of travel AGAIN.  He laughed and responded, “You have never been right yet with your dates!”  It’s true, but I’m a planner!  Planners plan.  Hence, the name.

Here’s my theme song AGAIN:

I’ll serve you while I’m waiting.

I’ll worship while I’m waiting.

I’m waiting on YOU Lord.

72 Hours of Joy

Yesterday was quite possibly the saddest day of my life.  After receiving the referral of a little darling girl on Friday we were all in LALA Land and giddy with the anticipation of our little girl coming home next month.  My husband and I went out and bought a few more items to take with us to Colombia, and a few to send ahead: coloring books, disposable cameras, size 6 rainbow undies and a cheap plastic photo album.

Months ago I painstakingly made of list of possible International Adoption Pediatricians who could review the medical history of our referral.  I mean really,….. how do you pick someone on the other side of the country, whom you’ve never met and will most likely never meet, to give you some of the most important information that you’ll ever receive in your whole life?  Well, as a good Type A student, I made a list.  I always make lists.  For this adoption I’ve made lists of things to do, things to buy, psychologists, social workers, immunizations, clothes to pack…. so quite naturally… Int’l Adoption Pediatricians.  I emailed 8 or 9 of them and scrutinized their responses.  I had the list narrowed to two, but was highly in favor of one doctor who had four internationally adopted kids himself.  He’s been there, done that.  That tidbit resonated with my soul.

Before I made my decision, I emailed a local friend who has three children by adoption and asked her who she used.  Miraculously, out of all 627 possible specialists in the USA, she named the same doctor who topped my list.  She paid the man the highest praise for the work he did for their family.  So I was good with that. 

Fast forward to this past Sunday, when I sent him the files we had received with our referral.  After reading the 40 pages with our untrained, naive and somewhat rose-colored-glasses-covered eyes, we questioned the money needed to have the files reviewed.  But I read the email a second time that came from our case worker, suggesting that we have the medical info reviewed…. and I sent off the wad of money and the files. 

Yesterday was Monday and Rick was off of work, thank God!  The doctor called us back around 11:00 am and proceeded to give us the worse possible news that we absolutely did not want to hear.  He had not seen a child more needy than this one in all of his ten years reviewing files.  Several times he apologized for being the bearer of bad news, but remarked that there was no cheery way of looking at this.  It all boiled down to two comments that he made, that I scribbled down on my very worn out adoption notebook.  Our number one priority is the preservation of our family.  Secondly, the odds are overwhelmingly against us for success with this child.  Heartbreaking news.

As the 45 minute phone call wore on, I became increasingly quiet and my husband finished all the responding for us.  Tear stains dotted my lavender t-shirt and I sat in my green birthday chair in our bedroom wondering, Why in the world did we get matched with this poor little child?  We certainly couldn’t harm the relationships that we’ve built over the last 17 years with our three children.  We couldn’t put them at risk.  We couldn’t wreck our family by trying to save this little girl, whose chances of being saved were slim to none.  After prayer and discussion and tears, we declined the referral.

My thrify-minded husband said, “That phone call was worth every penny we paid that man!”  And it was. 

I suppose we’ll never know, this side of heaven, why that darling little girl with black hair was ours for 72 hours.  But she was and we loved her whole heartily.  We pray she will be placed in a home with the resources to aid her healing and steer her through adolescent and the teen years.

We are still at the top of the list and a new referral should come in 3-4 weeks.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take!

Today was the DAY!

Yes, we got our referral call today!  Her name is darling and she is beyond beautiful!  And that’s not a biased opinion either.  :o)

So here was my ideal “get-the-referral-call” scenario that I hoped would  happen on THE day:  Gladney would call and tell us that we have a daughter.  We would gather the family around the computer sitting at the kitchen table looking freshly combed and well dressed and pressed. (Facing the sliding glass door, so the lighting would be good.)  The email would come and we would open it… slowly scrolling until we could see our girl.  We would oooh and ahhhh as we saw our darling new girl.. and we would video tape the whole deal so Nora would know the joy on our faces the minute we saw her.

Here’s how it really went down:  We all slept in and were eating a casual breakfast in our pajamas with major bed-head (except Rick, who was leaving shortly for work).  I finished eating first, around 9:00 am and went to the computer to open my email.  Immediately I saw an email from Gladney that said, “CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  So I jumped up and found my cell phone.  Yes, it was our referral call.  Our case worker said she had been waiting for two hours for us to call.  (We are two hours behind them.)  Someone ran upstairs to wake up Austin.  Then we gathered around the computer at the computer desk, so no one could see our faces, or hair, or pajamas… and we opened the email with her picture  and oooohed and ahhhhhed… without any video footage. 

All I have to say is that her situation is exactly what I have prayed for diligently for four years.  God answered this mother’s prayers!  She just turned seven and looks remarkably like my husband.  I can’t wait to post pictures, but that will be quite a few days from now when our acceptance letter arrives in Colombia.

Whooooooooo Hooooooooooo!

Mr. Clean, Eat Your Heart Out!

Two years into the adoption process I was told that we will need to send our girl a photo album of our house when we accept the referral.  Thinking I’d be on top of things, I made the album in 2008.  I did leave a few pages blank, like her room because it wasn’t decorated at the time.  I pulled the album off the shelf last night and realized that there is only one room that hasn’t changed in our WHOLE house in the last two years.  And that’s only partially true…. because we moved our bed and added my birthday chair to our room…. but I’m not retaking those pictures.  They turned out really good the first time! 

This Saturday is a scrapbooking day at my friend’s house, so I decided to re-take the photos of the house and update our girl’s album.  Which also means….. my house is TOTALLY clean!  So I’m just fine if the referral call comes tomorrow…. we plan to video our family watching her darling face come up on the computer screen… and I won’t have to scrape one area of the house clean to video!!!  Also, we’re supposed to send a video to her of a tour of our house… and it’s already clean!  It won’t stay this way very long… as there are several males who live here with me…. ’nuff said.

Here’s the clean view:

The previous picture is AMAZING because there are ALWAYS things piled on the stairs waiting to be taken upstairs!

The loft hasn’t been this tidy since 2008.

Note the new tea party shelf with the purses and boas!  A gift from my friend Jill to Zaza.

Larisa added this unattractive/comfortable chair to her room.

The boy’s beds are separated now with a shelving unit to provide privacy…. at least that’s what they tell me.

Yes, I took a picture of my birthday chair!

Ta Da!  Once Zaza is home she’s probably going to wonder why the house never looks like this ever again! 

We Made the List!

Here is the latest and GREATEST list of children being adopted from ICBF in Colombia.  Notice anything???? YES!  That’s us!  The 5-6 year-old age group and the Feb. 2008 application date!  SO EXCITING!

               Children Age      Application Date
 
Child               0 – 1                 feb-07
Child               1 – 2                 feb-07
Child               2                      ene-06
Child               2 – 3                 oct-06
Child               3                      abr-06
Child               3 – 4                 oct-06
Child               4                      may-06
Child               4 – 5                 jul-06
Child               5                      feb-09
Child               5 – 6                 feb-08
Child               7                      jul-10

I thought I was handling the stress of this week jes’ fine…. but the tension in my shoulders is telling me otherwise.  I’ll post within nanoseconds of getting our referral!

Road Trip Trivia

So in the past four days, we drove 24 hours… including stops.  It was all well worth it and we needed a break from the reality of sitting in our cozy house waiting for the phone to ring… giving us the information that will change our lives forever.  No, not Ed McMahon calling…. our adoption referral call.  Yes, I’ve mentioned it in every blog for the past month because I’M OBSESSED! 

Back to the road trip.  No Crosby family trip would be complete without original sayings that get repeated for all eternity and instantly take us back to the trip where the saying was first quoted.  This trip’s quote is a passionate, “WOW!”  It was voiced by both my husband and I simultaneously after a pause that followed a Snapple Trivia Fact from the inside of a cap of juice.  Larisa read it from the back of the van, “Everyone ready for a Snapple Trivia Fact?”  Silence commenced preparing our hearts for a truth from a juice cap.  “A three-day-old Caribou can outrun its mother.”  A quiet space was followed by dual “WOW’s!” from both of the front seat passengers.  Think about it… at three days…. it can run faster than its mama!  Wow!

Then we played Name That Tune, which is normally undertaken with humming, but humming is too quiet to effectively play Name That Tune in a running vehicle.  So we sing… without words.  There were some clever songs sung with no words.  There were some stupid songs sung with no words.  There were also some unknown songs sung with no words.  After about three Michael Jackson songs sung with no words, Larisa leaned over the back seat of the van and rummaged through her suitcase until she presented the new MJ cd This Is It!  So Name That Tune was ended by two go-arounds with MJ singing his little heart out.  Larisa commented during the second run-through that it’s ironic that MJ was singing the song This Is It…. and it was.  He never got to perform for an audience.  I added the fact that he also sang the words, “I’m the light of the world” in that song.  Those words should be reserved for the true light of the world, Jesus.  Yes, ironic.  Wow!

Happy Thanksgiving, My Fellow Canadians!

We will be spending our Thanksgiving today driving home from a four-day weekend in Northern California.  We came because of a street hockey game and a spur of the moment decision late on Thursday night.  Our eldest son had a youth group trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain over the weekend… also in California.  So we left him in the care of his loving grandparents.   From the decision to the drive-away….. 2 1/2 hours elapsed.  In that time I opened the fridge and found several items that ended up making the trip with us:  marinating chicken, ingredients for Chinese chicken salad, apples and cheese. How in the world did the pioneers survive without ice chests???  They probably didn’t take along their marinating chicken.

The street hockey game was considered “stacked” with my Canadian husband showing up from the next state to help the “over 30″ team.  Yes, they smoked the younger guys 12 to 5.  No, Rick didn’t score, but he played a mean defense, which kept the “under 30″ score low.

A great time was had by all and we realize this will be our last escape for a very long while, as we should be getting out referral call this week.  Yes, you’ve heard that before, but it’s true this time.  God willing.  :o)