My Heart is STILL in Colombia!

It’s true.  We have been home from Cali, Colombia for 23 months with our little Colombian princess.  The adoption journey has had bumps and twists that we didn’t expect, but it has been so wonderful and rewarding.

Tomorrow is GOTCHA DAY number two!

TWO YEARS!!!  Hard to believe it has gone by so fast.  Sometimes our month in Colombia seems like forever ago… and sometimes it seems like last week.  I miss the lush greenness of Cali, the vast array of mystery fruits that were scrumptiously yummy, the glimpses of the Andes when the fog lifted, the bamboo forest we drove by to our villa, the coconut ice cream bars, the afternoon rain showers, the neighborhood boys who would come and ask,  “Is Austin Rick’s son?”, the sweet smell of the flowers, arepas filled white cheese, the stickiness of the night air and the pee-po pee-po LOUD evening serenade of the coqui frogs.

People often ask “Why Colombia?”  Quite a few factors lead us to the beautiful and tropical South American country.

1.) My husband, Rick, went to Valledupar, Colombia for a summer to build a church when he was 17-years-old.  He grew to love the warm-hearted people and the countryside teeming with unknown vegetation, never imagining that he would return to meet his daughter twenty-something years later.

2.) We have three bio kids who do not look like Rick AT ALL.  Ok, one does a little, but I was expecting little chubby, black-haired Indian babies when I married a Cree Indian.  Didn’t happen.  The Irish and Finnish genes dominated and we got two blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids and another slightly darker. So, when we had chosen an adoption agency, I looked through the pages for the countries they worked in….   I held up the two pages and announced to Rick, “El Salvador and Colombia are where the kids look like you.“  “Colombia,” he replied.  And it was a done deal.

3.) Not that I was anywhere near proficient, but I thoroughly enjoyed taking Spanish… back in the day.  Larisa also had Spanish courses and was mastering her second language quite nicely.  So a country in South America seemed familiar… somehow.  (Not distant in my mind, like, say, Kazakhstan… or China.) I related to Ellie from the movie UP…. her dream was to visit South America.  She tore pictures right out of a library book of the fascinating country.

I am as American as you could get.  I LOVE my country… the anthem brings me to tears.  Studying and teaching the history of our great land is a deep passion of mine.  But I have to say that my heart beats in thirds… a third for the USA, a third for Canada, where I spent my college years and the first 10 years of marriage, and now a third for Colombia where I fell in love with my daughter’s people and homeland.  My heart is still in Colombia. <3

Churchy Lingo

As we were sitting in church this last weekend, Nora was with us in big church because we were running late and didn’t want to take the time to run her all the way over to kid’s church and check her in.  Our services are one hour… if you are ten minutes late, you miss the whole music section!  She watched as her daddy wrote a check and stuck it in an envelope.  She asked what he was doing.  I explained checks…. the same as money, but you don’t have to carry the money.  Then I explained tithing… giving your money to Jesus.  She was aghast… “You have to give ALL your money to Jesus?”  No, if you have ten dollars, he asks us to give one dollar back to him.   Her eyes squinted slightly and she stared off into the distance while the wheels were turning in her little brain.  Finally she asked me in a whisper, “How does Jesus get the money? He’s in heaven, right?”  Yep.   :o)

An Evil Scheme

No, my house hasn’t been super clean lately due to our crazy schedule and cram-packed calendar.  And I wasn’t particularly caring about the pile of “stuff” on the dryer, the dust on the blinds in the family room nor the split in the side of the couch cushion.  THEN my sister called…. from Washington.  Seems there is this band of great guys from their church who have been touring for a couple of weeks and they are passing through Phoenix TODAY… and were in need of a place to stay.  “How many in this boy band?” I inquired.  Five.  Perfect.  Of course they can stay.  What?  Two nights?  Sure!  Bring on the band!

So I awoke today with a vision of cleanliness that did not match my current surroundings.  And why is it that you realize all the pillows in your house are stained or lumpy on the day company is coming?  When did EVERY bathroom towel get pulls and snags?  Needless to say, I did MANY loads of laundry today to be prepared for the band.  I sewed up the hole in the couch cushion.  I pulled out the hide-a-bed and vacuumed UNDER the couch.  I added a foamy mattress to the fold-out couch to make it appear to be comfier than it really is.  I even vacuumed the dog hair off the front of the couch where the dog rubs her head.  See?  Just like June Cleaver!  I just needed a pocketed apron with cherries on it.

A Walmart run was conducted… three dozen eggs, another gallon of milk, bagels, cream cheese, four lbs. of ground turkey, two loaves of french bread, etc. etc.  I cooked enough burritos to feed…. well, a band. (plus my family)  Then as we sat down to eat I got another call from my sister in Washington.  Seems there was some miscommunication between the band members…. they are staying somewhere else in Phoenix.

I’m tired and my back is sore. I had two extra kids today.  Another one of my kids barfed three times today. Another one of my kids laid in bed half the day holding her stomach.  So why in the world do I feel like inviting people over for a game night tonight???  BECAUSE THE HOUSE IS CLEAN!  That’s why.

Just you watch.  No unexpected visitors will drop by for at least a week!

The Alliance

Yes, it sounds like a movie title but in this case it’s not.  The Alliance is a group of age-old homeschooling families who have walked in their own moccasins for more than twenty-five years and have come together to support homeschool state leaders.  They put on a conference, to which my husband and I attended this week, sort of like a family reunion but we were just meeting the family for the first time. I haven’t mentioned here on MSJ that my husband and I are on our state’s homeschool board, partly because I don’t feel worthy to be there half of the time… and the other half of the time I can’t figure out why they let us on after hearing my husband’s stories.  (Yes, he did it again.)

We were invited to a “refresher weekend” in January so the current board could get to know us casually over a buffet lunch and some chat time on a Saturday.  All went well until my dear husband started telling a biking story as we were moving from tortellini to cheesecake.  Rick and I were sitting next to each other in the middle of a rectangular table.  He was speaking to one end and I was speaking to the other.  I kept one ear on his conversation the whole time in case I needed to run interference…. but as the forks went into the cheesecake, realization hit that I was too late to save the day. Mercy sakes alive.

The story went something like this…. we were attending a new church that had Saturday night services.  Rick and our son went on a bike ride Sunday morning in the direction of our old church.  Rick has been going to church on Sunday mornings for 44 years… if he is out bike riding on a weekend morning, in his brain it is Saturday, even if it is Sunday.  So Rick and our son agree to meet at our old church, as our son needed to pump out an extra 10 miles without killing off his father.  So my husband pulls into the packed parking lot of the church and sits in a patio chair out front… in his biker stretchy shorts.  He visits with a few friends and keeps asking what is going on that brought so many people on a “Saturday”.  Many people told him that it was for church.  He didn’t get it.  Finally our son pulled up right as the main service was getting out.  A dear friend finally explained that it was Sunday and approximately 300 people would be leaving the building soon.  Rick minorly freaked out and ran to fill his water bottles, jumped on his bike and they peddled out of there as fast as they could.  The story simply sounds funny at this point.  If only he had stopped there.  He continued telling the homeschooling board members that after he arrived home he discovered holes in the back of his stretchy shorts……(story still sounds mildly okay)…. here was the clincher… he finished by laughing and saying ”and we go camou under those shorts.”  Yes, he meant COMMANDO, but I was not about to correct him at that point.  It was an out-of-the-body experience for me.  Why, oh why, did that story seem appropriate at that moment??  I have no idea!

They smiled and said goodbye nicely, like there was never a holey-bike short story ever told…. and they said THEY would call us. (Like ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you.’) I assumed that if God did not want us on the board, this was his way of working that out.  Lo and behold, no call came the first month.  No call came the second month.  THEN a call came!  Unbelievable!  Maybe they forgot the end of the story!  We were invited back for another round of questions and the rest is history. 

Back to the Alliance.  I thoroughly enjoyed the conference, especially being surrounded by like-minded people who are sold-out on homeschooling their kids and/or training the next generation to stand strong.  It also made me realize that there is a whole other level of politeness, respect and love that can cross generations and keep families tight.  It was like coming home… all over again.

Once Again…. I’m Not Sure I’m Ready!

My brother and his wife went away this past weekend to celebrate their anniversary up in the cool mountains.  (Side note: it’s STILL supposed to be over 100 ALL week!)  BAH!  Anyway, we have had their boys, ages 5 and 11, for some of the weekend when they weren’t at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  The five-year-old is almost six… so he’ll be very close to the same age as his new cousin, our little Colombian princess, who will be 5 or 6.  It was a good reminder for me to have him stay here, to kick-start my “Oh yeah, I’m going to have a 5 or 6-year-old child again” thinking. 

We went to church and I was NOT prepared with a purse full of fishy crackers and gummy worms, like a good Auntie should have been.  I had gum, three colors of pens and the back of a printed piece of paper to color on.  (I did have a Nintendo DS, but I didn’t show that to him.) He managed just fine.  Before we went into the service I asked him if he had to go to the bathroom.  He said, “Well, we better, just in case.”  Good idea.  Then we stopped in the cafe and bought him some orange juice, just in case too.  I grabbed a tidy little package containing a fork, spoon, knife and napkin, just in case too. 

Five-year-olds ask the best questions!  He asked if spoons cost more than forks because they are a “dinky bit” bigger?  He asked why I didn’t pay for the utensil package.  He asked if I could hold his juice bottle because it was too cold for him to hold.  He asked how we were going to find Uncle Rick because it was dark in the sanctuary when we eventually arrived.  All valid questions.

He didn’t open his juice at all in church.  He just colored with three colors on the back of my printed page.  He didn’t stand for the “singing part” because he was “just fine sitting.” 

It all got my mind a-wandering again.  Will our girl be able to sit in church quietly?  Will our huge church be overwhelming for her?  Will I be sitting in the five-year-old class all year?  Will I remember to take her to the bathroom before we arrive? Am I too old for this?  Am I ready for this?  I’m not sure at the moment, but I’ve been known to rise to the occasion more than once in my life.  {smiles}

This is referral call week.  Bring it on!

My Bucket List

Tonight I pulled out a journaling book that I started in 2007… it has in it, among other gatherings of words… my Bucket List.  One hundred things I want to do in my lifetime.  It’s been at least a year since I went through the list… that only goes up to 72 at the moment.  When I accomplish a listed item I highlight it.  There were eight lines highlighted already.  Surprisingly, tonight I highlighted three items from 2009 that were accomplished. 

I read somewhere long ago that if you write down your goals your brain grasps onto them subconsciously and even if you’re not remembering them… you are drawn to accomplish them.  I’m not sure if I believed that until I was married about 14 years and came across my scrapbook from my senior year of high school.  There was a page for 1 year, 5 year and 10 year goals.  What 18-year-old has any clue what they will be doing when they are 28???  Please.  Unbelievably, all the goals that I wrote down had been successfully completed… without me remembering that I jotted them in my scrapbook in 1984. 

Back to tonight and my Bucket List.  In case you live in a cave, a movie came out a few years back called the Bucket List and the premise was about two old guys determined to live out life’s wishes before they kicked the bucket.  I never saw it.  Anywho…. I highlighted three lines on my list tonight.

#10.  Take the kids on a missions trip.  Larisa, Austin and I went to La Mision, Mexico last summer… and it was Austin’s first time seeing an impoverished city.  It changed him, as I knew it would.  My 11-year-old son still is on the list to go, but I highlighted it anyway.  I firmly believe every American kid needs to see poverty, desperate need, and the happiness that is still available in spite of living conditions.  We are so spoiled blessed.

#51. Live close to the church.  For more than 10 years we have driven 30 minutes to church.  When your kids want to get more involved… an hour round-trip is a long way.  When gas is over $3 a gallon, every little trip counts.  Little did I know that we would be changing churches in 2009 and the new one is 8 minutes away.  Glory!

#61.  Publish a book for married women.  Last September my book Learning to Laugh in the Midst of Marriage came out.  Sweet! The book was not even started when I made the list!  See…. subconsciously!

Some of my other entries include traveling to far away spots on God’s green earth that I have studied and long to see.  Others involve helping others, teaching the kids new tricks, taking an emergency truck ramp…. quit laughing… they are so tempting,  learning a few tricks myself and reaching many for God’s kingdom.  I believe 2010 will bring at least three more highlighted lines… maybe more!

Do you have a Bucket List?

Spit Wads…. Again {sigh}

Sadly, my boys remembered their father’s example from six long years ago regarding the making, aiming and firing of spit wads.  Just Great.  I’m not sure what restaurant we were in when the boys each pilfered extra straw “guns”.  Regardless, the slimy ball wars continued for three days and I keep throwing away any straw I find.  On Sunday night at a concert at church, they actually pulled the straws out of their pockets and started gumming up some paper.  Militant mom confiscated all weapons before havoc was had.  I haven’t seen any today…. day five, so maybe we’re over this annoying ammunition activity.  Here’s hoping!

On Sunday, the height of the spit wad wars, Keeve had a friend over and they, along with Austin, went out front to spit at each other.  That’s really what it is.  Gummy, chewed up paper towel balls fired at one another, but “not at their heads”, so I’m told. 

My dry and thirsty plants in the front yard were calling to me so I ventured out-of-doors to relieve them and happened on the spit wad war.  To my surprise, my five-year-old nephew was also “playing”.  Before I made myself known, I secretly listened to the verbal exchange and rules that were being made.  Here’s how it went down:

5 yo:  Hey, guess what! Can I play with you guys?   (He says GUESS WHAT before every sentence… to keep us guessing.)

13 yo: Sure, you can be the target.

(Laughter by two 11 year olds and the smart alec 13-year-old.)

5 yo:  (naively, cluelessly) Ok, what do I do?

13 yo:  You just run around.

5 yo: (innocently, trustingly) OK!

Enter: Mom… and Auntie Linda, as the case may be.  I see the 5-year-old start to run away from the older boys as he says to me, “Auntie Linda, Guess what! I get to be the target!……… OWWW!  Something hit me on the back of my head.  I felt that!” (turning and glaring at the older boys.) Back to me with joy and glee in his big brown eyes, “They are letting me play with them!….. OWWW!” He reaches up to his neck and pulls off a slimy ball of gnawed on paper towel.

Being the mom, I gave a few pointed instructions… to the older boys and then went to water my parched posies. Raising boys is so FUN!

Side note: a nameless son of mine went to sleep over at a friend’s house yesterday.  He had packed a small bag… really small, so I asked what was in there for his overnight adventure.  “A clean shirt and shorts,”  he replied proudly.  That may seem all fine and good IF YOU’RE A BOY!  “Did you pack underwear or socks?”  “NO!  (with an amazed and shocked tone at how stupid my question was) I’m only going for one night!”  The caveman.  Who raised this kid of mine?  Positively Cro-magnon…. the same scivvies and socks two days in a row!  More than likely, he remembered to put straws in the bag.  Sheesh.

Neighborhood Group

We have recently joined a neighborhood group that meets every Sunday night… and it is so refreshing!  We have never been involved in a discussion/fellowship/party group before with people who live so close to us… in our neighborhood!  Imagine! (hence, the name!)  There are seven families who attend regularly ranging in age from 3 months to 80s.  I LOVE the cross generational mixing for our kids.  With our homeschool groups we tend to stick with people who have kids the same ages as ours, obviously so they can be taught together.  All the more reason I’m loving this group… a brand new little baby girl was there tonight.  So sweet.  Takes me back.

The stories that have come from the neighborhood groups at our church are truly remarkable.  We’ve met so many people at church who are there because a neighborhood group reached out to them when they had a need.  One couple was out of work and had a newborn.  The neighborhood group in their area didn’t know them, but heard about their plight.  They supplied the couple with diapers for six months straight.  It doesn’t seem like a huge deal… but diapers are expensive, even when you have a job.  They folks had never gone to church before… now they do… because of the neighborhood group.

Before we joined this group there was a family in our neighborhood whose child fell into a campfire and was being treated at a burn center in town.  They also had two other small children at home.  So the neighborhood group sent out an email and for twenty-one days straight, dinners were delivered to their house.  What a blessing!  To the giver and the receiver!

We’ve never really made it a point to meet the neighbors that live more than two doors away.  We are in a cocooning society, where everyone drives up to the their house, into the garage, the door goes down and you don’t even know what anyone really looks like!   Sad!  I’m not pointing fingers…. I have never seen the woman who lives next door.  They moved in over a year ago.  What a great neighbor I am!  My goal this week is to go over and knock on the door and introduce myself.  I’m usually home, so if she ever needed help for some reason, I’m here…. but she doesn’t know what I look like either.  ENOUGH!

It’s time to be neighborly.  Join me, if you will.

Perspective – Year after Year

As 2009 draws to a close, I find my perspective of the past two years to be quite an image of opposites… without appearing so at first glance.  I remember sitting on New Year’s Eve 2007 with great expectations and excitement for the coming 2008.  I was absolutely giddy for all that was to follow…. and it did not disappoint.  We were booked on a cruise for my parent’s 50th anniversary with my siblings and their spouses.  Our first trip without kids….. as adults.  We were overjoyed. 

Early 2008 I was in the throngs of getting our first book published, my website up and book signings arranged.  It was a whirlwind of activity…. and it did not disappoint.  I still love my website, even though it desperately needs to be updated.  The motherhood book was cuter than I could have imagined and the book signings were so much more than I hoped they could be.  I was overjoyed.

Looking at 2009, you would think my anticipation and responses would be nearly similar, as our second book was published and Rick and I again escaped to a cruise ship for five days… alone this time.  There were plenty of book signing opportunities and speaking engagements to fill my calendar.  But my summaries of the two years are not at all alike. 

2008: thrilling, awesome, love to relive it all. 

2009: emotionally draining, glad it’s over, can’t wait to start a new year. 

WOW!  It makes me feel better just knowing that today is the last day of my most frustrating year ever.

Why? you ask.   It seemed that all things that I hold dear to my heart took a beating this year…. my family, friends, church and homeschooling.  It was a year of trials, disappointments, changes and a realization that we were on the wrong track.  That in itself is a good thing as we begin our new year aiming in a different direction.  Sometimes I like change…. like the change from a $100 bill when I only bought a pack of gum.  I also like change when it comes to dirty socks, sheets and past season flowers in my backyard pots.  I don’t appreciate change when it comes to churches, friends, or finances. 

Typically I’m not an emotional wreck, but most of June I spent crying and hiding in my room.  I read more Christian western 1850′s romances this summer than the past five years combined.  Why? you ask.  Because I needed to escape.  I didn’t want to face the facts that were dumped upon me and our family. I didn’t want my life to change.  I relished feeling secure in how things have been for years and there was a huge rock in the road that upset the apple cart.  My apples were everywhere but in the cart for many months.  I still don’t have them all gathered back.

One thing we realized (remembered) is we are becoming who we surround ourselves with… and we needed to seek out others who were truly like minded with us in regard to our family beliefs with church and school.  We slowly, over years, came to the place where we couldn’t even talk about our calling to teach our kids at home for fear of offending those we spent the most time with.  Not that we are abandoning friendships of old, we just needed to be encouraged and prodded and slapped on the back by others who understand our calling…. our lifestyle of homeschooling.  It truly encompasses all we do as a family.

After much soul-searching and over a year of prayers, we felt the time was upon us to find a new church.  For those who know me well, this is not how I roll.  I am not a quitter, and that is how it seemed to me at the time.  We have been at the same church for ten and a half years.  Our boys don’t remember any other church.  Our dearest friends were there… scads of them.  But I can honestly say that the day we walked into a different church for the first time, it was like a breath of fresh air that I didn’t know I needed so desperately.  I haven’t exactly embraced it wholeheartedly, but I know we’re in good hands, even though I can’t quite put their sticker on my back window of the van at this time. (Are back window church stickers only the rage in Phoenix???)

I haven’t come full circle with the challenges that arose, but I do see how the Lord has provided friendships for me along the way.  Awesome women of God to come along side of me.  God allowed challenges to force us to see the error of our ways and our need to seek His face.  So, for that, and for the bumps in our 2009 road, I’m grateful.  Supremely grateful they’re over!

2010… let’s roll.

While I’m Waiting

Lyrics by John Waller

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

*********

Waiting is not on my top ten things that I love to do.  I don’t think it’s even in my top 100.  Getting married has caused me to learn patience while waiting.  Having children increased my patience still further.  Adopting has caused me to wait beyond what I thought was capable… especially when it is completely out of my hands.  But with recent happenings in our lives, we are now waiting for the Lord to show us a new home church.  We have not been homeless church people for over 10 years.  We’ve never really looked for a church before, other than moving to a new town, city, state or country.  It’s a new sort of lostness.  Unconnectedness.  Loneliness.  And it requires more WAITING.  Waiting is not on my top ten things that I love to do.

Finding a new church involves so many different facets: beliefs, values, convictions, morals, ethics, and good ol’ female intuition.  I haven’t had to face these feelings and decisions for so long, and it’s a painfully slow process as each Sunday approaches and passes. With teenagers, we have to be careful as parents to find the support system that they are in need of at this crucial time.  I’m drawn to family integrated churches that include the children in corporate worship.  I’m also drawn to the idea of all ages being taught the same principle from the same scriptures… enabling family discussions to be meaningful and impactful.  (Is that a word?)

Here is a clip from the movie Fireproof with John Waller’s song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3b2jw1rjBc

So for now, I will serve you while I’m waiting.  And I will worship while I’m waiting.  Patiently I will wait.