My last post mentioned a book about fear that I finished reading today. I haven’t read much on fear, how to deal with it and how it affects you and those around you. It is a vice of great proportions.
Also today, a former pastor’s wife friend of mine stopped by the house and was telling me all about this great children’s ministry conference that she went to in California. The curriculum they went through dealt with childhood fears that develop into lifelong struggles. I read anything I can get my hands on that will help us with our adoption and parenting a child with a five-year history that we will know next-to-nothing about. She said I could borrow it, but warned me that it is deep. What? Don’t I look like the deep type? It intrigued me and piqued my interest in dealing with a possible dark past for our daughter.
My friend was not gone for more than five minutes when the phone rang and it was another former pastor’s wife friend. I seem to have a lot of former pastor’s wife friends. She proceeded to tell me about a book that her counselor had recommended to her also dealing with deep seeded fears that cause children to act inappropriately. She mentioned the name of the book, but it escapes me at the moment. I will be reading it as well!
All that to say, I can take a hint. I have done some self-analyzing lately, in light of the fear issue. There are some unanswered fears that remain in my heart, but I believe they are the normal fears of any expectant mother…. Will I love this child enough? Will I love this child the same as the others? Will she fit into our family? Will she have learning challenges or health challenges? Will I think she’s cute? I wondered all those things about all my other kids too. Actually, after speaking with my father-in-law about the medical issues on his side of the family (“short” people, people with six fingers on one hand, etc.) I probably worried even more about having biological children.
God has a way of presenting the issues to me one at a time so I can handle them. It’s been nearly four years of adoption issues and stories that I have researched and prayed through. I’m glad God knows what we can handle and what we can’t! Fear not!