When Part of your Heart is Away from Home

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My mind often wonders what our little three to four-year-old, black-haired girl looks like.  I’m assuming her hair is dark and her eyes are brown, but I’ve been wrong before when guessing the coloring of my children.  These are pictures of little Colombian girls, so she might resemble one of them.  Simply beautiful.  Each one.  Only God knows what she looks like at this point, but not a day goes by when I’m not wondering. 

I had the same experience when I was expecting each of our three kids – wondering about their appearance.  Two of the three times, I was VERY surprised by the looks of my babies.  How does a black-haired, olive-skinned, brown-eyed man and a brown-haired, fair-skinned, green-eyed woman have TWO blonde-haired, pale-faced, blue-eyed kids????  I imagine God laughing and saying to Peter, or Paul, or Mary… “Watch this.  I’m giving this couple two children that look nothing like them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Watch the looks on their faces!”

We have been told that our wait will be between 2 and 30 months. Why not just tell us, 2 and 600 months?  It feels the same.  Someone asked me yesterday if we are taking turns sitting by the phone, waiting for the call.  Nope.  Today is day 17…….. 43 days until the estimated earliest call.  I’m not sure if we’ll be hanging by the phone then either.  I’m the type who stays busy so the waiting doesn’t hurt so much.

The purple bed painting task was finished yesterday.  Oh, it’s darling.  I bought the box spring this week, so it’s ready to be put together.  I would love to get the room painted buttery yellow before the bed goes in.  It’s so much more convenient to paint an empty room.  (Anyone else ever stepped in the paint rolling tray in a cramped room full of furniture?) Will she like her yellow walls?  I hope so.  Will she color on her yellow walls? Probably. Will I be mad?  I don’t think so.

Adoption feels like a piece of me is missing, well, because it is.  I lost my heart in Colombia, even though I haven’t been there yet.  I wonder if this missing-ness grows as we wait.  Will it get so big that I jump with every ring of the phone?  Will our little black-haired angel eventually fill my thoughts, pushing out all else?  We’ll see.  I’m staying true to form.  I’ve never been good at waiting….

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4 Responses to “When Part of your Heart is Away from Home”

  1. The Informal Matriarch Says:

    I’m waiting with you. I can’t wait until you get her. You must bring her here and show her to my husband in hopes that he’ll want one too. Will she mind if she gets a bunch of kisses from a strange almost relative?

  2. Jennie C. Says:

    I was driving to work today and reading your blog (yeah, I know, I know…) and I got all lumpy throated … and inspired! I just might have my own blog soon. You need to tell people her nickname! ‘Cept maybe I’m the only one who calls her that.

  3. rixgal Says:

    Jennie, We do call her Zaza too. A lady called me from an organization that gives adoption grants, just to get more info on our family. She asked what the girl’s name was. I laughed and told her that we will most likely keep her original name, due to her age, but we call her Zaza for now. :o) She laughed.

    And you should start a blog. Nobody reports sports news like you!

  4. LaVonna Says:

    Oh Linda,

    We are so excited for her to be here in Arizona, too! Rachel will love to share so much with her and they can be girlie-girls together. Nothing like having a close buddy!

    Keeping it all in prayer.

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