The Day I lost my Marbles

street hockey

Last Fall I volunteered to host a street hockey event for homeschool boys at our house.  The day before the event, the children and I were attempting to make the yard look acceptable by mowing the grass, weeding the rock areas and pulling out dead plants.  Mowing sounds easy, but we have a 15 foot trampoline complete with huge metal bars that hold the safety enclosure in place…..and it rotates its way around the yard to promote even grass growth.  It is so large that at least one leg is always on the grass.  It takes four of us to drag it to its new location each time.

The kids and I had been working in the hot AZ sun for several hours and we were sweaty, dirty and tired.  Wearing my hot-pink gingham gardening gloves, I hauled the last bag of clippings to the front yard garbage can and headed back to close the side gate.  My youngest son was still in the front depositing other treasures in the garbage can.  Just as the gate clicked, I heard a car pull into the cul-de-sac and stop.  Remembering my baby was alone out there (OK, he’s 9, but STILL!), I ran back to the front yard to make sure he wasn’t being kidnapped.

He was safe.  It was a fellow homeschool mom with her son and a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies coming to the street hockey event.  Reason left my mind.  Consciousness practically did too.  She told me that it was supposed to be that day, while climbing out of her truck.  I mumbled something incoherent about needing to straighten up a bit and darted for the front door. 

I didn’t even check the calendar to verify her arrival for the appropriate day.  I just plain freaked out.  I needed a shower… there was no time.  I didn’t have any make-up on…. there was no time.  My house was in shambles…. I had about 15 seconds until she reached the entry.  So I did what any sensible, calm homemaker would do in the midst of a kitchen piled with dirty dishes… a table covered with JUNK and clothing, shoes, laundry, newspapers, and dog toys scattered all over the floor…..   I went straight to the cupboard under the kitchen sink and grabbed the garbage can.  I quickly ran to the laundry room and set it on the dryer.  (Why?  I have no idea…. it was out of sight to begin with.)  Then I went back into the kitchen and surveyed the disaster zone.  In a zombie-like stance, with my shaking arms stretched out in front of me, I yelled in despair, “Look at my house!”  The sight must have been frightening because my daughter jumped off the couch and ran past me and upstairs without a word.

Then I thought, “It’s not today.  It’s tomorrow.” I put my arms down and checked the calendar.  Yep, still had 23 hours to get ready.  I greeted the other mother at the door and calmly confirmed in a gentle manner that she was the basket-case and not me  (even though the previous 17 seconds confirmed otherwise.)

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One Response to “The Day I lost my Marbles”

  1. Alberta Says:

    ok….so I see you still have great writing skills since HS days!! This totally cracked me up!!

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