Celebrating the Colonoscopy


A close friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, found that she was in need of an interior view of a delicate situation in order to establish her current health status.  (She had to get a colonoscopy.)  Yikes!  She found herself on D-Day in the presence of a male and a female nurse equipped with the apparatus necessary for the film shoot.  There was no anesthesia included in the deal.  Little did the three individuals know, but it was going to be an eye open and eye opening event for all involved. 

About one third of the way through the tunnel, my friend kept requesting that the procedure be slowed down to a comfortable pace for her peace of mind.  “No, it’s best if we just get this over with.  Hold on!” was the reply she received.  Another few minutes of anal agony and my friend repeated her request with a little more gusto the second time.  “Please Slow Down!”  “No, No.  We know best.  Hold your breath and don’t think about it!” they pathetically offered standing fully clothed at the foot of the table where my dear friend lay half exposed.

Finally my bosum chum had experienced enough grief and propped herself up on her elbows at the head of the cold metal table and questioned in a blaringly loud voice with evil eyes glaring at the nurses, “Have either one of YOU ever HAD a colonoscopy?”

They looked and each other and both shook their naive heads back and forth.


I wish I could’ve been a fly on the white wall.  I recently heard that the colonoscopy involves anesthetic now.  Well, now we all know why.  It’s thanks to my brave friend.  Thank you! You know who you are.


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2 Responses to “Celebrating the Colonoscopy”

  1. Jennie C. Says:

    I have two requests for your book already! I’m putting together a bulk order!

  2. Clay Says:

    Couldn’t you have requested only female nurses?

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