An Ode to Homeschooling

This weekend is the AFHE (AZ Families for Home Education) convention downtown…. where thousands of women in denim jumpers and hair buns gather to share stories of how smart and ahead and brilliant their children are….  all due to homeschooling.  It’s awe inspiring.  Especially if you like denim.

I’m working at the Konos booth for the fourth or fifth year, helping the Hulcy family peddle their “Granddaddy of all Unit Studies.”   It’s an easy sell for me because I’ve exclusively used it for seven years and KNOW it works.  Mi youngins aint flunked no subjekts yett.  An’ we’s jes gettin the ball bouncin’.

The Konos booth is a confessional of sorts for dismayed mothers who feel they have failed themselves, their children, their husbands, their relatives, and all mankind due to uncompleted unit studies.  They are amazed when I tell them that I have indeed failed with them.  And I’m proud to tell the story.  I’ve learned several ways NOT to end a unit.  Like hiding the book and pretending you never started the study.  Or rapidly closing the volume after at least one of your three children collapsed on the floor in grief when the ongoing unit was announced.  But I’ve also gathered several positive ending possibilities in my magic bag of tricks that the women drink in like living water.  OK, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but they are hungry for help, absolutely.

Here is my list of what I consider dumb questions that were asked of me today.  As my daddy always said, if you want a dumb answer, ask a dumb person.  Hey, if the shoe fits….

Q.  What happens if you skip third grade science?  A.  Do you remember what you studied in third grade science?

Q.  How do you keep track of where the kids are?  A.  Well, mine usually show back up at dinnertime.

Q.  Is there someone I can call for help at any time?  A.  Yes, dial 1-800-GOD-I-NEED-HELP.

And so the sarcasm continues in my brain as I stand there and smile at my fellow homeys.  I’m back at it tomorrow.  God, grant me the ability not to say what goes through my head… at least for one more day.  Amen.

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3 Responses to “An Ode to Homeschooling”

  1. morethananelectrician Says:

    I think a lot of homeschool families feel immense pressure (for no good reason), but we all have the same struggles. The ability for some of them to share their troubles and concerns should be very helpful.

    Nothing wrong with denim… :)

  2. LaVonna Says:

    Hey Linda,

    Bless your heart! I was MIA for the convention. I’m a recovering curriculum junky and I do not need to add to my addiction…hee.hee. Actually, I was not sure if we were going to be here or not.

    I like denim jeans, no jumpers for me. I’d look like a midget tangled in a ball of blue. As for the bun, well, hard to do with short hair. By the way, my kids are smart and that I can proudly say is a combination of their father’s and mother’s DNA…super kids! When they do goofy things, I’ll just toss up a coin and it could come from either Richard’s side or my side depending on if it lands on heads or tails…ha.ha.ha! All I pray is that they will use God’s gifts that He bestowed upon them and use them for his glory.

    Last but not least, your knowledge is like water for the thirsty. I know I refresh myself in your wisdom.

    Love ya,

  3. rixgal Says:

    Aaahhh, LaVonna, sweet poetry in motion. Blessings upon you.

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