No News is NOT Good News

School is underway and I am treading water with my head just sticking out of the water.  It’s hard to keep my mind from wandering off to Colombia and a sweet, little black-haired girl that is waiting for us to come and get her.  I keep thinking, Spelling and grammar are important but if the referral call comes, spelling and grammar are history, baby!  At least for a little while.  I made the most strictly structured schedule that has ever been in existence at L.A.K.E. Academy (our homeschool.)  L-arisa, A-ustin, K-eeve, and E…….  (Wouldn’t it be just like God to have Zaza’s name start with an E!?! )  The schedule is the only thing keeping school on track.  The boys check it regularly throughout the day and keep us on course.

We were supposed to have adoption news last week.  It didn’t materialize.  The next scheduled news about our case should be available next week… Sept. 10th, so we’re told.  Is it too much, after almost three years of waiting, to ask that our little girl is home before Christmas????  I had a hard time last year putting the kids’ birth ornaments on the tree without Zaza’s in the mix.  Another year with three stockings when we know there should be four.  Another year without Barbies under the tree.  {sigh}

I have this underlying anxiety currently.  I’m not sure what it means or where it comes from.  I hope it’s my maternal instincts kicking in to prepare for a new child.  We’ve cleaned, painted, scrubbed and wiped pretty much everything now.  If the call came tomorrow, I’m ready.  I try not to dwell on the time that we have been on the adoptive parent wait list in Bogota (19 months), but it does come to mind on nights like tonight.  The house is quiet.  There probably are three million things I could be doing, but I can’t concentrate on any one thing.  It’s like something or someone is missing…. because she is.

Come on, GOD!

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2 Responses to “No News is NOT Good News”

  1. Venessa McCallie Says:

    Hang in there, you’ve got lots of people praying for you! And I know you know it and I know it doesn’t help to hear it, but His timing is always perfect… it just never seems to match up with mine, either.

  2. tkcswatson Says:

    I am right there with you Linda & our wait has not even been that long. Over the last 3 months, I have tried to predict our referral date based on a generic time line that Beth gave us. I have said many times, “this would be a great day for our referral.” There has been my birthday (what better birthday present could I have gotten), our wedding anniversary, the anniversary of our first date, Coy’s birhtday. . . I began to sulk about not getting our referral, and God began talking to me in my quiet time. I decided to stop pouting & whining about it & work on “waiting well.” This is my new motto “Wait Well.” Waiting is hard, but I am thankful for the peace that God has given me. I will do my best to wait well & let His timing be His timing.

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