For Females ONLY!

Today’s blog is brought to you by StayFree mini pads.  Yes, it’s a private female topic.  But the reason it made the very public blog is because a son of mine, who shall remain nameless to protect his masculinity, sat at the kitchen table last night eating toast and reading the StayFree package.  I noticed this odd occurrence out of the corner of my eye, and wondered, hoped and prayed that I would get off scot-free without having to discuss the contents of the little pink package.  (It was on the table with all the newly purchased “upstairs” products waiting to be taken up the stairs…. toothpaste, foundation, TP.)  Why couldn’t he have read the Crest box???

As he munched on his PB&J toast, he thoroughly read the entire package.  He’s a quick reader, so he may have even re-read some of the eye-opening information on that little pink plastic wrapper.  Finally, my hopes were dashed, and he inevitably asked, “Mom, what are these for?”

It was one of those moments when time is suspended in mid-air as a myriad of questions went through my mind before I answered.  Questions like, Did his father explain THIS part of the birds and bees? and Does this call for a short non-specific answer, like ‘For girls’? and Does he really want to know what those are for…. or is he stalling his bedtime?  and also Will this information give him nightmares?

So, I went with the I’m-the-good-mother-who-gives-her-children-correct-answers answer.  (Mom, you may want to stop reading now.) In a brief 27 seconds I explained that when a girl reaches about the age of 12 her body prepares to have babies.  If it is not time for her to have a baby, she bleeds for one week every month.  It’s called a period.  Those are pads that girls put in their underwear so they don’t get their underwear bloody. 

I held my breath.  Would there be more questions about babies and bleeding and bodies and such?  Much to my relief, he gently put down the package and stood up from the table to clear his plate to the counter.  And it was over.  That was it.  I broke out in a sweat for nothing!  Why do I make such a big deal about these situations?  I don’t know!  Looking back, I did OK.  It went down without trauma (on his part)…. I think.

When my husband gets home from Houston on Friday night, I’m sending him in our son’s room to make sure HE gets asked any follow-up questions that I know have developed over the past 24 hours.

Thank you, StayFree, for helping me lose 3 pounds in perspiration last night.

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9 Responses to “For Females ONLY!”

  1. Gramps and Gram Says:

    Love your story.

  2. Gramps and Gram Says:

    The above comment was by Gram. She should know better. For Females ONLY – NO WAY. (The pad part of it.) I am a prostate cancer survivor and have had an artificial sphincter valve installed for about 19 years. The warranty was for only 10 years, the function has deteriorated accordingly, and I am an absolute dependent on pads, LARGE ONES. The above has nothing to do with the birds and the bees but just wanted to let you know that some men are very familiar with “pads”.

  3. rixgal Says:

    TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!

    (but I did wonder if the first comment was Gramps or Gram!)

  4. Jennie C. Says:

    Ha ha. My Gramps is funny. Everyone in my family should have the middle name of “TMI”. Now I see where we all get it from.

    Linda – I’m very proud of you – you did great. I don’t really understand why this makes you sweat – very silly, but if it means losing a few pounds … why not!

    And AS IF we couldn’t guess which son it was. “He’s a quick reader” kinda gave it away. ;)

  5. Jennie C. Says:

    P.S. You can always have your kids call Aunty Jennie for answers to delicate questions. I’m a pro.

  6. Rick Says:

    Oh great! I can’t wait to get home now!?!?

  7. Kristen Benson Says:

    This is AWESOME! You are a fabulous writer…HEY! You should write a book or two…oh, yeah, right… :o)

  8. Grace Says:

    You did GREAT! I loved this post and I’m oh, so proud of my Girl!!!

  9. LaVonna Stephenson Says:

    Okay, I had a brief encounter with this with our sweet Rachel. I did not have the heart at the time to tell her what she gets to look forward to. My answer was short…its for mommy. With that, she left and went about playing. I will use your answer next time you cleaver woman!

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