We have been asked many times why we are leaving our fair country to adopt in a foreign land. “There are so many kids in the foster system that need homes!” We’ve heard all the reasons…. and they are valid. Our answer is, “We are doing what we are called to do.” If the Lord guided us toward an adoption here, then that is what we would do. But He did not, so we’re not. There are also other reasons that we grappled with during our initial adoption inquiries.
Before we chose an agency or a country, I spoke to any adoptive parent that would stand still long enough for me to ask questions. One such parent was a mom from our daughter’s volleyball team. She had a young son and daughter whom they adopted…. I thought from Russia. I’m not sure what made me think Russia? They did look a bit Russian… brown hair, white skin…. that’s it. I called her to ask her some questions about their international adoption of Russian kids. She paused and said, “Uh…. our kids are from the Arizona foster system.” Oh. OK. (Now where do I go??) She asked if I would mind sharing why we would look outside AZ for a child who needed a home. We knew each other fairly well and so I spoke my concerns openly… “We are concerned about the psychological difficulties with kids from this system and we don’t want weird relatives showing up at our door.” Some may say I’m narrow-minded, but hey, we all have our hang-ups. Those were mine. Her answer not only surprised me, but confirmed our international selection. She responded, “Oh, well, we’ve had both of those things happen in the first year alone,” and she went on to explain it all to me.
Funny thing is, last night I found myself on the other side of the weird relative equation. On facebook we found a niece of ours who had an adoption plan made for her shortly after she was born. She is now 19 or 20. She is beautiful…. and looks just like one of her aunties. My husband and I talked about whether I should contact her or not. We decided a quick one-liner intro and request to be a friend would be appropriate. She is “friends” with her bio-mom, sister, aunt and uncle…. all from our family. So I figured, what’s one more weird relative?? When I went to her page this morning, I discovered that she is getting married in four days. She is busy and in love and doesn’t need another weird relative this week. I’ll wait a month or two.