Sitting at Carl’s Jr.’s in the drive-thru line, waiting for my bags of ice, I had one of those little “trust” moments. We were at a tight spending phase (due to the dentist!! and travel shots!!) but I was clearly impressed upon to pay for the meal of the mystery person behind me. I’m not sure what the person in front of me ordered, but seriously, it took more than 10 minutes to deliver the goods. So I had lots of time to think and …. listen…. and justify. Here is just one small slice of the thoughts running amuck in my mind as I sat there in the minivan: ‘What if he’s on a lunch run for all the buddies at the office?’ ‘GREAT! I will have to explain to my husband why there is a $47 charge from CJ’s.’ (and after scrutinizing him in the rearview mirror) ‘It doesn’t look like he eats that much.’ ‘Is it tacky to ask how much his bill is before I say I will pay it?’ ‘Is that an infringement on his privacy?’ and finally….. eventually….. ‘OK! I’ll do it.’
I don’t get those “clearer than clean water” messages very often, but I realize they are to stretch me and test my faith. God really does have everything in control, whether I acknowledge it or not. I’m basically a control freak, as you may have noticed, and giving up control is H A R D for me. Hard like granite, not hard like old silly putty.
But as I have learned through our 4.5 year adoption journey, it’s not about me….. I’m simply supposed to do my part and relax. So my part in line at CJ’s was to pay the bill of the skinny guy in the grey Cube car behind me. So I did.
I pealed out of there in lightning speed and didn’t read his receipt until I was out on the street waiting at a turn signal….. get this…. he ordered a coffee… and it was $.54. FIFTY-FOUR CENTS. I imagined the guy thinking, “Wow! Big spender!” But the whole episode was for me, not for him and his cheap cup of joe. See, God did have it under control. I just had to do my part.