It started out as an ordinary day in the life of me, but no day is ordinary in my life, as I have come to realize. It was a “don’t-have-to-go-anywhere-or-look-nice” kind of day, so I was sporting my summer uniform of denim shorts and a Walmart USA t-shirt. Breakfast was under way, but the blown-up chili and eggs on the inside of the microwave grossed me out beyond my comfort level. As I always do, I filled a small bowl with water and set it in the microwave to be heated to boiling… and thus moistening all the hard-as-cement bits glaring at me. This has been my “clean the microwave” practice for over 20 years. It has never failed me until today. I set the timer for four minutes and stood by spreading cream cheese on a bagel. I was a little too close to the microwave for comfort. The bowl boiled down to vapors and the pressure inside the little white oven blasted the door open. Yes, the water hit the side of my head and soaked my Wally World t-shirt. I also screamed…. quite loudly. And scared the dog. Thankfully it was not boiling hot water… it was luke warm water that didn’t burn the skin off the side of my face.
As if that wasn’t enough excitement for one day….. I decided it was time for the bi-annual shower cleaning in the master bathroom. Don’t judge me. We do not have a water softener and the hard water clings to the shower door and walls like Saran wrap to itself. Happily (ok, not really) I was spraying and scrubbing the shower… fully clothed, still in my summer uniform. I was utilizing a large 7-11 cup to rinse the walls as I went along. Then the phone rang and I abruptly stood up, my shoulder hitting the shower tap and turning on the cold water from the shower nozzle….. blasting the same side of my head that WAS recently dry after the microwave blasting only an hour earlier. This was WAY more water, however. Sufficiently drenched.
When my husband finally arrived home and we were sitting like the Cleavers having dinner around the table, he asked the ominous question, “How did your day go?” “Before or after I got blasted in the head twice?” Another classic Linda day.