Yes, this is another blog relating the to car accident that I unwillingly participated in 3 1/2 weeks ago. A deep fog has permeated my brain for three weeks leaving me wondering what my childrens’ names are, grasping for common words like “ride” and “sit”, and feeling vulnerable and alone. Yes, it is drugs. Yes, I’ve written about this before when I was on narcotics for tooth pain. I had forgotten the lonely drug induced blanket that wraps itself around your neck for days on end. Finally, when I was thinking homeschooling was pretty well done for the year (with two more months to go) I went to visit my doctor. Sorry, pupils.
Typically I am an in-control woman. Administration is one of my gifts, as well as teaching, organizing and being sarcastic. But I could do none of those while the blanket hugged me like a scratchy wool scarf. Sitting on the tissue papered table at the physician’s office, I tried to explain in my not-usually-wobbly-voice that I am on an involuntary emotional roller coaster because of the drugs. My voice never wobbles. But it wobbled woefully. “I need to gain control of my life again,” I feebly explained. “Is there a pain medication that conquers pain but doesn’t leave people in this fog?” And there is. Thank God! It’s in a 3-day patch that transdermally inputs the drug into your system at a consistently controlled rate. No more roller coastering for me, baby.
I am now addicted to a little 3/4″ x 1″ plastic patch. And I’m okay with that. I was missing me. I’m partially back. Doing simple tasks like showering or making waffles are still followed up with a two hour nap. But I’m okay with that too. I know my limits. It’s two outings per day… only twice or three times per week. More than that and I break out in a sweat.
Hope returned yesterday when I broke out the botany text book and decided school would be underway once again. It will be more self-guided than teacher-ruled, as is my persuasion. Flowers and pollination will be devoured by my little busy bees for the next few weeks. I even found an activity requiring powdered donuts to demonstrate cross-pollination. Homeschooling rocks…. or blooms in this case.