Being a mom is SO FUN! I love it! Every day! Every hour! Every eye roll! Every ear-phoned teen that can’t hear me call his name! Every time I get in the van that is on E! I love love love it!
However, despite my joy of parenting (and tongue-in-cheek commentary) I have come to realize that it is my fault that tasks are not being completed to my level of satisfaction due to my negligence in explaining the job. Let me graciously share some personal examples that will be crystal clear to you… and anyone with a thawed out brain.
- When I ask a child of mine, whom I have reared with love and diligence, to “shake the bathroom rug outside,” what I REALLY mean is “fold the bathroom rug carefully so as not to spill any dirt or debris on the bathroom floor, then carry it gingerly in a direct route to the back door, move away from the back door and the patio table to vigorously shake the rug multiple times from different sides, and then return the rug to the center of the bathroom floor with the basket of magazines back on top of it, where you found it.” See how it could be misinterpreted? Seriously.
- When I ask a child of mine, whom I love with my whole heart, to “get T.P. from the garage,” what I REALLY mean is “go to the garage and get as many rolls of toilet paper as you can carry and visit all three bathrooms in the house to stock the empty shelves and T.P. holders, even if this requires multiple trips to the garage, and refill any empty T.P. holders next to the toilets, and throw the empty cardboard tubes in the garbage.” See the multiple steps on this one that could be confusing? So many steps! I know!
- When I ask a child of mine, whom I have home educated at my slippered feet, to “take out the trash,” what I REALLY mean is “RIGHT NOW, take this trash can to the garage and empty it into the big trash can, and remove any sticky things in the bottom of the littler garbage can and then return the garbage can to its original place and replace the plastic liner bag, if there was one.” See, that liner deal gets tricky. Obviously.
- When I ask a child of mine, whom I have fed and clothed for at least total of 61, 205, 231 or 266 months to “make your bed,” what I REALLY mean is “take off the pillow, wad of blankets and any foreign objects from your bed, secure the fitted sheet, find the top sheet and put it on the bed straight with right sides together and tuck in the bottom edge and corners, find your blanket and/or bedspread and put it on the bed right side up and tuck in if necessary, place your pillows with pillow cases intact at the head of the bed, double check if the bedspread is covering the sides of the mattress.” See, it really is a time consuming task that requires mental motion early in the day that could be quite difficult. Whew.
See? It is my fault for not being more thorough in my instructions. I really need to work on this mom thing a little harder, maybe with more intensity, drive and compassion. Tomorrow morning I will turn over a new leaf and begin instructions with full and complete sentences.
I’ll keep you posted.