Summer Lovin’ Had Me a Blast!

Count it all joy. That’s in the Bible… yep. So I’m counting it all joy…. my summer fun. If you think purgatory isn’t real, I’ve got news for you. Here are the last month’s trips through address change hell and debit card dumbness. (And you thought it was all over months ago!) NO WAY, JOSE!

At the bank, our personal bank of more than eight years whom I have contacted I cannot tell you how many times to straighten out our address, we went in to open the Colombian princess’ 13-year-old account. They asked me to verify my address. I got it wrong. (My favorite part of this is when they look at me like I’m dumb. I don’t even know where I live! I should probably be in a home for the bewildered.) I tried again with an Oklahoma address where we have never lived… yep. OHMYSTARS! So they “fixed” it for the umpteenth time. Right! Until next month when I go back in for some other such banking service!

(Here are two people. One lives in Arizona. One lives in Oklahoma. BIG difference!)

Next, I needed to renew the hosting for my website. They asked for the last four digits of the card that was used to open the account. I replied, “That was three or four debit cards ago. I have no idea.” Then they asked to verify my address. I just flat out lied and said I have two… one in Arizona (where we have lived for 11 years) and one in Oklahoma (where we have never and will never live). I have both memorized. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this until now! It worked. Feeling all proud of myself…. for lying. See what this has come to?

Tonight I called an automated system to pay a bill. It is a bill that was on auto pay but must have missed the last new debit card change (after someone went all wild with my card on nike.com and zoolily.com) because it is four months overdue. I tried to use the automated system because it was after hours. The first question was to verify my street address… 2524… nope. We are at 2416… and the Oklahoma address is 500. So I tried to gain access with the last four digits of our social security numbers. Both were turned down, but I know those were right! Then they asked to verify the address again. I got it wrong again. I vaguely remembered that 2524 was our street address in a short term rental in between our homes 11 years ago. So I hung up and called back. I thought I was being all tricky, but it didn’t work. Dangitallanyhow.

Tomorrow I will call when I can go over all this again and again with a live person because I don’t have anything better to do with my time. And I like talking to people who don’t really believe what I’m telling them. It makes me miss the days of slamming down the phone receiver. Sigh.

Here’s my free advice: when your child gets married and moves away, volunteer to fill out the address change card FOR THEM! Don’t let them make the mistake on your watch of checking the “whole family” box on the pink form. It is painful and goes on forever and ever. Learn from our mistake, people!

Summer lovin’ had me a blast!

It Ain’t Over til It’s Over

And I have NO IDEA when that will be! Land sakes alive! Yes, Crosbys are still stuck in address change purgatory. Yes, it’s been going on for over eight blinkin’ months. This week’s participants who contacted us about our “move” to Oklahoma were Costco, Charles Schwab and Arizona Elections.

While picking up a few pictures that I had printed at Costco, the cashier instructed me to head on over to the membership counter to verify my address. I sighed and rolled my eyes and said, “Not again!” She reassured me that it was a common practice to occasionally verify addresses. I knew differently.

At the counter the lady scanned my membership card and then read my new address in Oklahoma out loud for me. “No, that is not my address. I have not moved in over ten years.” She asked if I have ever lived in Oklahoma. “No.” I mean, really, why explain the whole my-daughter-was-married-and-moved-to-Oklahoma-last-June-and-put-in-an-address-change-and-accidentally-checked-the-whole-family-box? Customer service reps don’t care. At all. I know from experience. She ended with “That’s weird!” I responded with “Yeah! Totally weird!”

Next, an email came that stated our account with Charles Schwab was frozen because mail had been returned. With my husband, Rick, out of town, I tried to take care of it without him having to spend time on this, but alas, my name is not on that account. Whew. I forwarded the 800 number to Rick. BAM! Outta my hands.

Yesterday, three orange “second notice” cards came from Arizona Elections informing Linda Ann, Rickey Allen and Austin Rick that we need to re-register to vote because of our address change. Thankfully that was just one phone call and it is fixed. I hope. I let the nice lady know that we received orange cards but we have lived and are still living in the same house that we have been voting from for ten years. She believed me and didn’t ask questions. Thank you, nice elections lady! I vote for her!

If I can give you any advice today, dear reader, it is BE VERY CAREFUL TO SELECT THE APPROPRIATE BOX ON THE ADDRESS CHANGE CARD AT THE POST OFFICE. Instruct your children about this. Write it on your gates and the doorposts of your house. Tell your neighbors. Include this information in your Christmas letter. Make bumper stickers. Get the word out. Seriously, it’s THAT important!

(On the flip side, if you are trying to think of a devious plot for your most evil enemy for April Fool’s Day…. submit an address change for them… and check the “whole family” box. Hopefully they write a blog and you can read about your sinister activity for months! heh heh heh)