2016 Arizona Homeschool Convention

2001 was my first experience with a homeschool convention as we were embarking on this crazy and rewarding choice to educate our kids at home. My inaugural entry into the exhibit hall brought on anxiety and trepidation… it was HUGE! How was I supposed to narrow down what curriculum I needed from the 27,000 choices? And yes, I cried … just a little. I never did find a grammar program… so I didn’t do grammar that first year. It’s all good. Really.

Also, that year, I was unaware of the seminars that were going on on the other side of the wall. How did I miss this?  I don’t know. But year two when I found them it was like opening a Christmas gift in a new room every hour!

2016 is my fourth or fifth year speaking at the Arizona conference. What a joy and a blessing to share my homeschooling passion with newbies and oldbies. All of my mistakes give people hope. If I can do this, anyone can do this!

The 2016 REPORT

Never have I given a report, but I feel it is necessary this year. Soon you will know why.

Thursday there was a free mini conference for interested folks who are trying to decide if homeschooling is for them. My session was called Homeschool 101 and gave the info needed for teaching your kids in Arizona. The law. The requirements. The freedom. This was my fourth or fifth time giving this talk and I was feeling rather confident about my 45 minutes of responsiblity. However, after I brought up my PowerPoint and discovered my notes for that talk were not in my binder, my confidence waned a tad. I immediately pictured the stack of notes on my dresser waiting for the three-hole punch. Dang it!

Going with the flow is a necessary skill for homeschool moms… and it came in handy at that moment. I moved the laptop so I could read it a bit more clearly and embarked on my first seminar where I was shooting straight from the hip. Lord, help me! Usually this talk is full of information without much room for entertaining Crosby stories of things my children have done to me. This time, however, I told plenty of stories and still wonder what I left out! (I apologize, Thursday peeps!)

Friday my first seminar was Getting Started, which is the longer version of Homeschool 101. I did have notes I needed, and you may be asking yourself, “Why didn’t you use those notes yesterday?” Good question. They don’t follow the powerpoint and I would have looked confused. I’m all about what I look like. Bwahahahaha! No, really.

Usually at Getting Started on Friday I make an announcement before I begin telling folks who came to the Thursday talk to go hear another seminar…. I didn’t this time. I thought there might be pertinent information that I skipped. Better safe than sorry.

At the end of Getting Started, I figured out that my zipper on my pants was down the entire time. Thankfully I was wearing a shirt that covered this breezy are of my outfit.

Then came my initial delivery of a new seminar titled Using Art Across the Curriculum. Twenty minutes before this seminar I was handed a brief from the Phoenix Police that I was to familiarize myself with so I could make an announcement at the beginning of the seminar. I obeyed. (There was a hoax protest planned for downtown Phoenix.) But then I was almost late for my seminar. I scrambled in there and got set up with two minutes to spare. Perfect…. except that I needed to go to the bathroom. There wasn’t time. I honestly prayed, “Dear Jesus, please don’t let me pee my pants in front of all these nice folks. Amen.”

All went well until half way through the seminar I resorted to crossing my legs and squeezing tightly all the while praying that I could hold it. I tried to make it look casual by propping my crossed foot up on my toes. OHMYSTARS! I seriously had all these thoughts while giving my art seminar:

I am getting old and half to wear Depends now when I talk.

I swear I will never EVER skip the bathroom again before I speak.

Those dang protesters are getting all up in my business!

I could cut this short and no one would know. Just turn off the computer now.

What do I do if I really do pee my pants?

I could knock over my water bottle at the same time…… or the pitcher of water! Yes!

Thankfully, I survived with my bladder and dignity intact.

My lone Saturday talk and final seminar was Ideas for Planning and Scheduling. Again, I’ve delivered this info several times. It’s a fun seminar… because I made it fun by adding pictures of 1970s and 80s TV shows. It was a boring presentation until I included the Beaver, Richie, the Fresh Prince, Mork and Gilligan. Unfortunately, when I turned on my computer it was updating. WHAT!? You know, the update that says “1 of 3 updates complete. Do not turn off your computer.” The one that takes 30 minutes. I mildly freaked out. Thankfully I had gone to the little ladies room or there would have been an issue right then and there on the floor. The whole seminar consisted of showing planning and scheduling ideas…. in pictures… on the screen. Fourth seminar prayer, “Oh dear baby Jesus, I need help again!”

Greg, the faithful AV man showed up and tried to resuscitate my laptop to no avail. He then asked if I had the seminar saved in cyberspace. Thank GOD! I had emailed all the seminars to myself when I completed the PowerPoints. He brought in his computer and SAVED MY BACON! Whew. And we even started really close to on time. Thank you, Greg!

So that is how the 2016 Arizona Families for Home Education Convention went for me. See? Anyone can homeschool!

How did it go for you? Hopefully less eventful than my rendition!

Jr. High Graduate: AUSTIN R. CROSBY

Austin is the handsome lad in the red tie.

For most, graduating from junior high school is not that big of a deal.  You show up every day (in the kitchen for homeschoolers like mine) and you do the work.  Then BAM! You graduate.  Austin told me in January that he “didn’t want to do that stupid graduation thing.”  “Fine,” I replied.  And thought that it would be painful to force him… and relieved that we didn’t have to go through it either.  THEN, Rick and I were accepted on the AFHE Board (AZ Families for Home Education) … and our tune changed.  We found out that AFHE puts on a junior high graduate recognition ceremony at the Phx. Civic Center…. and being board members, we thought we should give it a go.  So we signed up Austin and didn’t tell him for more than two months.  We didn’t want to torture him for more than seven days.

Yes, that’s the rat face.  As it happened, the graduation was on Friday night so we told Austin that he would be participating on the Sunday night right before the ceremony.  I was a little surprised by his nonchalant response.  I suspect that he was secretly disappointed that we didn’t do any of that stupid graduation stuff.  The ceremony was first class with over 60 grads. Even the speaker was good! Then we had an open house for Austin and invited all those who have participated in his life.  A great time was had by all.

The little trophy on the right is from Austin dominating in a marshmallow eating contest.  Makes a mama proud.  Speaking of being a mama, when my first homeschool child graduated from junior high, I felt like I had succeeded.  I had successfully guided a child through elementary and junior high school and most of my hair had not been pulled out of my head by my own hands.  I distinctly remember congratulating the other moms in the crowd.  We did it!  This time, however, it was much more an example of God’s mercy and love …. getting THIS child through eight years of home instruction.  Austin didn’t learn to read until he was eight years old and the only reason he even started THEN was because his younger brother started before him.  It wasn’t for my lack of trying either.  In his kindergarten year, I checked back through my daily plans and I had shown him the letter F 67 days in a row… and there was no recognition AT ALL.  My husband, the principal of our homeschool, was called in at that time and I handed in my resignation.  He refused to accept it and I had to have a parent-teacher conference in the bathroom mirror.  I prayed like all good homeschooling moms pray, “Dear God, Don’t let me wreck this kid. Please.”

An amazing occurence transpired in spite of a tragedy. When Austin was in third grade (and doing grade 5 math with me reading aloud all the word problems to him) my husband, the principal of our homeschool, separated his Achille’s tendon and was off work for three months.  Being homeschoolers with no strings attached, we went on a “21 National Parks” field trip of the western side of the U.S.A. from April to June.  We did take a bit of math with us.  We did listen to multiple audio books.  We did chart the moon’s cycles. We did see AWESOME sights that God had made for us to behold.  But no teaching was forthcoming for three months.  Just like God to show that Austin’s learning had NOTHING to do with me…. it was on that trip that Austin learned to read.

As homeschool parents, we chose this path for training our kids in Godliness and character development. Those were more important to us than learning how to line up, raise your hand, ask to go to the bathroom, and grammar, quite frankly.  We have been rewarded by God filling in the gaps where we have fallen short.  God gave us these kids to impact for eternity and it’s a pleasure and challenge to spend most of their early years with them.

Congratulations, Austin.  We are so proud of you, dude.

 

My Political Post for 2010

Today was the first day of the homeschool convention here in Phoenix.  The exciting thing this year is that I get to go to seminars instead of working in a booth.  I’ve been in the Konos booth for 6 or 7 years now, but they aren’t doing conventions any more.  Sad but true.

(Photo from  www.focusonlinecommunities.com)

Anyway, the first session was power packed:  State Senator John Huppenthal, Governor Jan Brewer (of immigration fame), Senator John McCain (the 5th Arizonian to not win the presidency), and my personal favorite, Michael Farris.  Those who aren’t submerged in the homeschool world might not recognize that last one.  He is an attorney with the Home School Legal Defence Alliance (or Association… or another A….).  He’s also a dad of ten kids.  Yes, you read that right.  TEN.  My hat’s off to him for that point alone.  He’s a lawyer with a great sense of humor who entertained and enlightened us this morning.  But it gets better. 

(Disclaimer:  I might not have all the details totally accurate, but please get the gist of this.)  The UN has a new-ish treaty that they are trying to get all the UN countries to sign called the Rights of the Child.  It is pretty well a sure thing that our president would sign this document before his term is up.  (Notice I didn’t say termS.)  Up front it sounds all nice and fair for children, but it is not.  It would not only undermine the autonomy of the USA but also the authority of the family.  I learned all this today at the homeschool convention… amidst several thousand like-minded individuals who don’t take kindly to governments telling us what to do with our children. 

Mr. Farris has written Senate Resolution 519 (Here is the text, in case you’re interested: http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-sr519/text )  Mainly it states that the primary safeguard for the well-being and protection of children is the family, and that the primary safeguards for the legal rights of children in the United States are the Constitutions of the United States and the several States (plus WAY more).

I did not realize that if this resolution has 34 co-sponsors in the Senate, this treaty could never be voted on by President Obama.  I just assumed that he would vote according to his socialist beliefs and we would suffer the consequences… again.  But 34 senators can say, “We will not support this” and it freezes the vote.    This is also why the Founding Fathers, who would be shocked and dismayed at the state of the union, put a clause in the Constitution to separate the USA from other countries.  Brilliant.  For such a time as this.

The AZ senators are already co-sponsors, among (I think) 27 others.  So I can’t do any calling to senatorial offices.  But if you live outside of Arizona and don’t want President Obama giving away your right to parent your child according to your beliefs, please find out if your senators are co-sponsors of Sen. Res. 519…. and encourage them to be sponsors!  Be American and contact your representatives!

Ok, My Sister’s Jar will be back to fluff and nonsense, and vacation pictures, and drivel tomorrow.

An Ode to Homeschooling

This weekend is the AFHE (AZ Families for Home Education) convention downtown…. where thousands of women in denim jumpers and hair buns gather to share stories of how smart and ahead and brilliant their children are….  all due to homeschooling.  It’s awe inspiring.  Especially if you like denim.

I’m working at the Konos booth for the fourth or fifth year, helping the Hulcy family peddle their “Granddaddy of all Unit Studies.”  www.konos.com   It’s an easy sell for me because I’ve exclusively used it for seven years and KNOW it works.  Mi youngins aint flunked no subjekts yett.  An’ we’s jes gettin the ball bouncin’.

The Konos booth is a confessional of sorts for dismayed mothers who feel they have failed themselves, their children, their husbands, their relatives, and all mankind due to uncompleted unit studies.  They are amazed when I tell them that I have indeed failed with them.  And I’m proud to tell the story.  I’ve learned several ways NOT to end a unit.  Like hiding the book and pretending you never started the study.  Or rapidly closing the volume after at least one of your three children collapsed on the floor in grief when the ongoing unit was announced.  But I’ve also gathered several positive ending possibilities in my magic bag of tricks that the women drink in like living water.  OK, maybe that was a bit dramatic, but they are hungry for help, absolutely.

Here is my list of what I consider dumb questions that were asked of me today.  As my daddy always said, if you want a dumb answer, ask a dumb person.  Hey, if the shoe fits….

Q.  What happens if you skip third grade science?  A.  Do you remember what you studied in third grade science?

Q.  How do you keep track of where the kids are?  A.  Well, mine usually show back up at dinnertime.

Q.  Is there someone I can call for help at any time?  A.  Yes, dial 1-800-GOD-I-NEED-HELP.

And so the sarcasm continues in my brain as I stand there and smile at my fellow homeys.  I’m back at it tomorrow.  God, grant me the ability not to say what goes through my head… at least for one more day.  Amen.

www.LindaCrosby.com     www.bagsforzaza.blogspot.com