Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

In the year of our Lord 2016 decorating the Christmas tree, for some strange reason, went down a little different than any past year I can recall. My husband was here “helping.” Now I get the song God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman! Just go take a nap already!

Last week some thoughtful male in our home brought the Jenny Craig imitation tree into the living room for me. How nice! Except that it didn’t get covered all year from Last Christmas and was filthy. Upon request, a son of mine dragged it to the backyard for me and I gave it quite the shower…. lights and all. I couldn’t remember if the lights actually worked and I knew we had 27 million strings of lights from our daughter’s wedding in the garage. Her wedding wasn’t IN the garage… that’s where the lights were.

A day later an extension cord was also brought to the backyard to see if the shower killed the lights. Surprisingly, they worked! Joy to the World! Back in the house that skinny tree was dragged.

Decorate-the-O-Christmas-Tree day quickly turned into clean-out-the-garage day, much to my chagrin. It all started at 10 a.m. with the typical where-is-the-box-with-the-decorations search and recover mission. Then the shelves got cleaned out and the toilet paper and paper towels were put on the clean shelves. Then we swept the garage floor. Then the camping equipment got put back on the shelves. Then a ton of junk got thrown out. Then I got a big scrape on my arm that produced blood. Then we swept the garage floor again. Then we threw out the dilapidated camping chairs that served their purpose for 11 strong years. (This is how my kids write stories. Every sentence starts with “then.” It really holds the interest of the readers and keeps the story moving along rapidly.) Then we found the bag of sheep’s wool that we will need to study sheep in January. Then we were all hungry. Then the Popsicle man came at the right moment. Then five kids from the youth group showed up and ate tacos at our kitchen table.

Side note: this was a stay-at-home-and-look-ugly day. I hadn’t even brushed my hair. I did brush my teeth because you can only be so gross on a stay-at-home-and-look-ugly day. I was sporting a red t-shirt, grey bally sweat pants that are floods, fuzzy black slippers and a light blue and pink Peter Rabbit apron covered with ruffles. The Popsicle man is probably used to this sort of housewife-dressing-down-deal. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

It was 7:30 p.m. when Nora, our 13-year-old, could not take the suspense any longer and begged to decorate the tree. Okay, Okay! Don’t get pushy! Let’s get this Blue Christmas rolling!

We weren’t ten minutes into our mission when realization hit me that my husband hasn’t really helped hang ornaments on the tree for YEARS! He was not aware of the ornament rules and was breaking the ornament rules faster than I could instruct him in the ways of righteousness. Little ones on top. Big ones on bottom…. but not the last row of branches. Ugly ones in the back. Elvis ones in the back. (I had to make that two rules so Rick didn’t know I think the Elvis ornaments are ugly. Shhhh.) Expensive ones at eye level and next to lights. Sheesh. How hard is it? It was notably NOT a Silent Night!

Here is the front and center of our tree: (Several rules are broken!)

Then he figured since I had rules, he needed to make some rules. “Don’t linger by the ornament box! Just pull out your ornament and move away from the box!” Sheesh! I’ll admit I rolled my eyeballs toward heaven a few times and thanked God that He gave me All I Want for Christmas in this helpful man.

So, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas at the Crosby homestead! I pray your decorations went up with glee! May your Christmas be merry and bright at this Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful!

Really!  In Phoenix… in December… it snowed only 25 miles from our house!  We had rain … but we are not used to harsh conditions where we need closed-toed shoes… and a jacket!  I can imagine the sympathy in your heart for us!  haha.

December brought out Christmas decorations with a vengeance… lights, wreaths, trees, snowmen, etc.  First year EVER… I got the fake tree up with all the silver, blue and white ornaments… on December 1st!  A week later, we are still waiting to go buy a tree for all the non-blue ornaments.  A few years back, I came to the realization that red is not my favorite color.  In fact in the ROYGBIV list… I’m basically loving the rainbow in reverse order.  I’m a violet, indigo and blue gal from the boots up.  SO…. I went blue Christmas shopping and the blue tree was born.  I love it more each year… as the ornaments accumulate.  There are a few homemade preschool ornaments that made the cut… we have a popsicle stick Star of David with blue glitter…. and a dough star painted royal blue.  Yes, they are on the back, but they did make the cut for MY tree.

I love these stained glass snow flakes.  Rick and I bought these in Mexico two years ago at Christmas time.  Love them!

This stained glass trio was purchased last Christmas in Bogota, Colombia.  Yes, it’s supposed to by Mary, Joseph and the Babe Jesus, but I also like to think of it as Rick, me and our little colombian princess who joined us last Christmas!

Nora has loved the thought of Christmas since her first days in the USA.  She arrived to her forever home on December 22nd and it was one big blur of Christmas bliss her first week home!  Her eyes sparkled when she saw Grandma’s house all decorated in every corner!  A village with ice skaters and lights in the windows… a sleigh full of teddy bears… brass reindeer with ribbons… embroidered Santa pillows…. snowmen that play the piano and sing…. little Christmas mice climbing candles… matching wreaths on the front doors… and Santa himself waving the lantern from the top of the tree…Spendid!  All year long she has repeated that Christmas is her favorite!  We have stressed over and over that it is our favorite too, because Jesus was born then and THAT is the reason we celebrate.

We are doing the Jesse Advent Tree devotional with the kids.  We bought a little tree for the kitchen table that looks pretty lame right now with only five ornaments, but it looks a little better each day as we add to the story of Jesus!  We review every night and Nora basically gets it so far…. just a bit off on a few stories!  It is a bit alarming that of the first five stories, death is talked about three times!  (Adam and Eve’s disobedience, Noah’s neighbors and Abraham starting to sacrifice Isaac!)  I never thought of it before, but it’s all part of the story of our salvation!

So thankful for a relaxed Christmas month to share with our little girl!

Blue Christmas

All this talk of Elvis singing Blue Christmas…. I didn’t realize how this song has subliminally affected me until today.  The tree is blue, the gifts are blue, the tablecloth is blue and Elvis is still singing the same song.

Happy day before Jesus’ birthday!  Remember the Christian heritage of our country.  Say Merry Christmas to one and all!

Take Me Back

Last night we opened the box containing Christmas videos… yes, only three days prior to Jesus’ birthday.  At least we found it and got it opened!  Ten years ago, our youngest son was born mid-November.  Being such a youngster he played the part of baby Jesus in the gigantic Christmas Spectacular at Phoenix First Assembly.  My Dad works in the video department, so we were blessed with three different tapes from three nights of baby Keeve being held up the air, half clothed in front of 7,000 people and blinding lights.  He was so darling, if I do say so myself.

From baby Jesus, we moved onto Larisa being a pauper girl when she was 4, dancing and looking adorable and dirty all at the same time…. same show as above… different year.  I love the results from pink spongy rollers!  (Look out, Zaza!)

THEN.. the highlight of our evening was a video our kids made with the help of their favorite babysitter, Ashley.  They were 2, 4 and 7.  We laughed so hard… and then played it again and laughed even harder.  Austin, at 4, was wearing these white Elvis pants that were supposed to go on the front legs of a large dog….  need I say more? Yes!  He was bare chested flaunting a gaudy gold necklace and a black wig.  Yes, he sang Blue Christmas by Elvis.  See a trend here?  His performance included the lip snarl and hip gyrations.  Made his daddy proud.  Larisa followed with a ballerina choreographed performance of the Nut Cracker.  I don’t think we realized how good she was at the time, but for a seven year old, it was amazing.  (She is a choreographer now for a drama troupe.)  And Keeve….. cute Keevey… we completely forgot that he lisped his S’s… and there’s two in Merry Chrithmath.  We re-wound the lisp several times until we couldn’t take it anymore for the pains in our laughing bellies.

Good times.  Takes me back.  We’ll have to make some videos this year that we can crack up over in another eight years.

Elvis and Christmas

Unfortunately, Elvis and Christmas go hand in hand at the Crosby house during the season when we are celebrating Jesus’ birthday.  Music, ornaments, gifts, etc. etc.  Several years ago mother bought a tasteful 24″ singing/dancing Elvis in his gold dinner jacket playing his guitar with a deformed right arm that is at an unnatural angle… singing Blue Christmas.  It comes out each year and I try to hide it in an obscure corner of the house… laundry room…. garage… but this year EP is standing right next to the computer in the family room for all to push the mighty red button that brings him to life.

It’s not even Christmas yet and Rick has already received three Elvis gifts.  {sigh}  I did give in to my husband’s obsession, after fighting it for 19 years, and cristened the downstairs bathroom a shrine to Elvis Aron Presley.  It is sort of a memorial, being that he passed on in the bathroom an all.  I painted the walls and ceiling red… to showcase the black framed records and pictures.  We even provide Elvis entertainment for our guests who visit the Elvis bathroom… game magazines, trivia books, biographies, and a flip book that shows Elvis dancing… that was purchased at the National Archives in D.C.  (Why buy a copy of the Declaration of Independence when there are Elvis flip books???) 

There is a well-loved book in the tidy black basket that is titled Where’s Elvis?  It’s like Where’s Waldo, but Elvis has been placed in photos from all around the world and you have to find him.  A relative, who shall remain nameless to protect her identity, was in said Elvis bathroom for a L-O-N-G time one day. I finally went and gently rapped on the door and asked if everything was OK.  She frustratingly yelled, “I cannot find Elvis in this picture!”  Another sucker sucked in by Where’s Elvis.

The only song I loathe on one of Elvis’ Christmas albums is Mama and the Roses…. he actually sings the words, “She growed them in the yard.”   GROWED!   The hillbilly.  Makes me wanna say ain’t and spit on the floor.  Good grief.  Pray for me to make it to January… when I get to put the king back in his box.