Don’t Try this at Home!

For some strange reason, this past week my children asked if I got in trouble much as a kid.  What brought on this bit of inquisitiveness, I’m not sure.  Visions of grandeur danced through my head as I recalled various adventures that I could lay on ’em.  Then I realized, no, I didn’t get in trouble that much because my older brother got in A LOT of trouble…. so I walked around the house telling my mommy, “I be good!”  Over and over and over.  And I was good.  :o)

So this happy tale emerged after much prayer and supplication:  my parents had vacated the house leaving my 13-year-old brother in charge of me (11) and our little sister (6).  We decided to be helpful and empty the garbages from upstairs…. (with ulterior motives, for sure!)… so we could burn the rubbish in the fireplace in the family room.  Fires are so exhilarating, especially when you’re home alone!  My brother lit the matches and started the newspaper tubes that we had diligently rolled up just like Dad always did.  We waited until it was nice and hot before we started adding the garbage…. which included: toilet paper tubes, kleenex, q-tips, junk mail, odds and ends…. AND…. an empty aerosol can of hairspray.   OOOooooohhhhh!

We didn’t bother closing the little chain-mail curtain because we were still loading in the trash when it happened……. quicker than bottle rockets on the 4th of July, the can exploded and shot out of the brick fireplace.  We were terrified!  We ducked for cover!  We shielded our heads and faces!  We screamed like girls!  The can hit the popcorn ceiling and then came to a smoking landing on the tri-level, multi-colored shag carpet, where it sizzled and then fizzled on the far side of the hide-a-bed couch (that I am the proud owner of to this day!) 

We waited for it to cool down before we tried to pick it up, but it was sort of stuck to the melted carpet.  My brother did pull hard enough to dislodge it and then I carefully trimmed the burned carpet to a uni-level, non-torched height.  I remember the can leaving a mark on the ceiling, but I can’t remember how we covered it up.  That was 33 years ago, okay?!  I remember thinking that we could have put someone’s eye out with the shooting hairspray can, and we never repeated that fiasco.  Safety first!  Or at least second!

Reminds me of Back to the Future when Marty tells his 1950’s parents to go easy on their future son when he burns the livingroom carpet!

Independence Day!

Fireworks shows are hard to come by in Phoenix, land of the flammable landscape with heat and wind to keep the fire crews busy eternally. Permits are required for pyrotechnics.  My children have never had the thrill of holding a sparkler in their hand, or shooting off bottle rockets, or lighting those gray growing snake dealies or even witnessing the smell of a fireworks stand.  However, we do the best we can to be patriotic and go out of our way to see Chinese-made fireworks in our fair city.  My parent’s church always puts on a grand display so that was our intended destination at 9:00 p.m.  As we were climbing in the car at 8:38 p.m., my dad phoned to tell us the fireworks show was half way through….. it was a 15 minute drive and would be over by the time we arrived.  So we drove a mile from our house to where we could see the tiny fireworks in the distant and stood on a curb watching them in disappointment.

Our youngest son has a gifting toward music and with that came sensitive ears.  He is 11 and has only enjoyed the Fourth of July without a pillow wrapped around his head for four years now.  Finally he enjoys the BOOM in his chest from the firepower, just like his mama.  I have semi-fond memories of sitting in the car with him with his pillow around his head when it was 105+ degrees even at dark, while the rest of the family sat on cool grass to enjoy the show.  Last night he kept asking, “Where are more fireworks?”  and “Can’t we go somewhere else to see fireworks?” and “Are we going to see more fireworks?”  You get the picture.

At home, after the miniature disappointing distant display, my husband scoured the newspaper for fireworks show listings.  I searched the web.  We discovered that the BIG Phoenix display was downtown at 9:30!!!  We could make it! We jumped back in the car again, with our 3-D glasses for fireworks enhancement, and headed down the highway.  We arrived just in time and after three or four attempts at finding the right side street that faced the display area, we scored!  Only one billboard slightly off to the left, but we had a grand view.  The picture above is proof that we were in Phoenix, see the flammable palm trees??

Fourth of July checklist:  watermelon – check, bbq burgers – check, cheesy $4 Walmart flag shirts – check, fireworks – check.  Job well done.