Highly Amusing

Some of you who know me well will find this tale tremendously, highly, even ridiculously amusing.  I awoke this morning at 6:58… even though the clock said 7:03…. I’m so onto Rick’s trick of setting it ahead.  I jumped into my bathing suit, (ok, maybe jumped was a bit of an exaggeration), grabbed my water bottle, Nike goggles, cover-up, BIG towel and headed out the door to meet Donna at the Tramonto lap pool. 

Clouds are not often seen in the great blue skies of Phoenix, but this morning they were plentiful.  When clouds do make an appearance, they are often white, puffy and here only for show…. no action.  This morning, some of their uglier grey cousins showed up to bare their teeth.  Donna and I felt the sparse raindrops but jumped in the pool anyway.  There was actually blue sky peeking at us from straight above.  We swam for 18 minutes and both surfaced simultaneously at different ends of the pool…. to hear rolls of thunder break the silence of the morning.  You’ve never seen two women scramble from a swimming pool so quickly….. earlier than originally planned, but SAFETY FIRST!

I’m always reading, as some of you know.  I always have a book with me.  This cloudy, thunderous morning was no exception.  Being that I was ahead of schedule, I went through Micky Dees for a $1 breakfast burrito.  I parked in the Albertson’s lot and slowly devoured my handful of Mexican goodness while reading International Adoption: Sensitive Advice for Prospective Parents.  I bought it yesterday afternoon and I’m on page 95.  It’s a good read.  I’m relating to the two women’s adoption fear, joy, anger, sadness, doubt, elation, etc. etc.

I finally realized that the breaky burrito was gone and I should probably head home to greet my children, who will undoubtedly be lying on the couch watching a movie…. and eating crackers.  My plans were foiled by a dead car battery.   Sheesh.  My first thought was “There is no way I’m asking for help in my bathing suit!”  I pulled my AAA card out of my wallet. (Anyone remember a few years back when I discovered I had been removed from the AAA family plan???)  Well, my card expired on July 31, 2009….. SIX DAYS AGO.  Stop laughing.  I phoned Rick to inquire of my AAA status.  He confirmed that I was indeed still covered by roadside assistance, but suggested I phone a friend instead of waiting an hour for my friendly tow truck driver.  I phoned Donna… no answer.  I phoned my Mom… Dad was gone.  I phoned my Dad… he was downtown getting his tires rotated.  I phoned Jill, who told me her long tale of woe regarding a wedding-gift-headboard-nightmare that was still ongoing.  Finally I asked if she could come save me…..  I told her that I had wet hair and was in my bathing suit.  She did her normal loud guffaw and agreed to come.  I continued reading.

Jill pulled up and when I climbed out of the van in my bathing suit and cover-up, she was positively disappointed that I had my cover-up.  She was hoping for just the bathing suit in Albertson’s parking lot.  Anyway, before we electrocuted ourselves with the jumper cables (even though we knew that red stands for the blood of Jesus and is positive) a kind elderly gentleman showed up and took care of business for us.

All this before 8:30 a.m.!!!

Flashback Wednesday

As I stood in my kitchen this morning I had a flashback to my youth.  Specifically, it was a sunny late afternoon in Sunnyvale, California and a family bar-b-que was underway.  Ground beef had been thawed to make some scrupmptious hamburger patties, but alas, a plight arose.  There were only hotdog buns… no hamburger buns.  I distinctly remember being so proud of my clever mother for shaping the hamburger patties into hotdog bun conforming shapes.  Brilliant.

Back to my kitchen, my boys requested French Toast for breakfast so I  mixed the magic potion in which to dunk the bread slices.  The first four were sizzling with merriment as I dug through the freezer for more bread.  There had to be some hiding in there because I just got five free loaves two weeks ago.  (Thank you, Coupon $ense!) Nada.  I made enough egg-milky goo to dunk half a loaf, so I wandered back to the bread box to find one and a half packages of hotdog buns.  Presto!  I invented Hot French Dog Toasted Buns. I sliced the top part in half horizontally and got three pieces out of each bun.  Wonder of wonders. 

I was seriously doubting if the boys would even eat them.  But to my sheer delight, they wanted the new fangled French buns instead of the regular slices.  As I was nearing the half way mark in the bun bag, one son announced that when he grew up he was only buying hotdog buns.  No bread.  Why buy bread when everything can be made with hotdog buns?  Sandwiches, hotdogs, and Hot French Dog Toasted Buns. I mentally added hamburgers.