Yo Quiero Taco Bell!

Seriously, Rick and I should have bought stock in Taco Bell back in the day.  We went there on Sunday… because it was FAST… it was on the way to the Olympic gold hockey game…. and it was the cheap price, of course.  I’m married to Mr. Wallet after all.  As we approached the little talking box, I already tallied the tacos, burritos with no onions and the cheesy fiesta potatoes for Rick to order, so I handed the list to him.  The ordering was painless.  The delivery was painful. 

Being wise to the ways of Taco Bell under-paid-I’m-sure employees, I ALWAYS know the number count of how many items we ordered.  This time was no different…. 17.  (We had an extra kid with us, ok!) The bags were handed over and whaddya know… I only counted 16 carefully wrapped bundles of pseudo Mexican goodness.  I recounted.  Nada.  So Rick asked, “What’s missing?”  At that point I acted all-knowing because frankly, I wasn’t going to get out my tally list and mark off each taco, onionless burrito and cheesy fiesta potato.  I replied, “A bean burrito is missing,” because as heartless as it may seem, I didn’t really care what was missing and I knew whoever was missing something would eat a bean burrito with no onions if he or she was truly hungry enough. Brutal, I know.

As the window technician was delivering the counting error to the cooks, I handed the “cheesy fiesta potatoes” to Larisa, who opened the lid to find beans and cheese.  WRONG AGAIN, AMIGO!  Rick handed it back to the drive-through wizard and asked for the potatoes. 

We eventually got 17 items.  I still don’t know if they were the 17 that we ordered…. and it was NOT fast food.  I’m sure the people in the car behind us started chewing their nails due to hunger pangs.

This whole Mexican food extravaganza reminded me a time in Portland, Oregon when Rick and I were in a large van with about 12 people.  Call us stupid, but we went to the drive through at Taco Bell.  We ordered one by one and when all was paid for and received, I think only about eight people actually received what they ordered.  But we all ate something with meat and cheese and tortillas, so it was all good.  I wondered why we even ordered individually.  We could have just said “Send out 24 items.  We’ll pay $25,”  and we would have saved the ordering time.

You think we would have caught on by now, but no!

Highly Amusing

Some of you who know me well will find this tale tremendously, highly, even ridiculously amusing.  I awoke this morning at 6:58… even though the clock said 7:03…. I’m so onto Rick’s trick of setting it ahead.  I jumped into my bathing suit, (ok, maybe jumped was a bit of an exaggeration), grabbed my water bottle, Nike goggles, cover-up, BIG towel and headed out the door to meet Donna at the Tramonto lap pool. 

Clouds are not often seen in the great blue skies of Phoenix, but this morning they were plentiful.  When clouds do make an appearance, they are often white, puffy and here only for show…. no action.  This morning, some of their uglier grey cousins showed up to bare their teeth.  Donna and I felt the sparse raindrops but jumped in the pool anyway.  There was actually blue sky peeking at us from straight above.  We swam for 18 minutes and both surfaced simultaneously at different ends of the pool…. to hear rolls of thunder break the silence of the morning.  You’ve never seen two women scramble from a swimming pool so quickly….. earlier than originally planned, but SAFETY FIRST!

I’m always reading, as some of you know.  I always have a book with me.  This cloudy, thunderous morning was no exception.  Being that I was ahead of schedule, I went through Micky Dees for a $1 breakfast burrito.  I parked in the Albertson’s lot and slowly devoured my handful of Mexican goodness while reading International Adoption: Sensitive Advice for Prospective Parents.  I bought it yesterday afternoon and I’m on page 95.  It’s a good read.  I’m relating to the two women’s adoption fear, joy, anger, sadness, doubt, elation, etc. etc.

I finally realized that the breaky burrito was gone and I should probably head home to greet my children, who will undoubtedly be lying on the couch watching a movie…. and eating crackers.  My plans were foiled by a dead car battery.   Sheesh.  My first thought was “There is no way I’m asking for help in my bathing suit!”  I pulled my AAA card out of my wallet. (Anyone remember a few years back when I discovered I had been removed from the AAA family plan???)  Well, my card expired on July 31, 2009….. SIX DAYS AGO.  Stop laughing.  I phoned Rick to inquire of my AAA status.  He confirmed that I was indeed still covered by roadside assistance, but suggested I phone a friend instead of waiting an hour for my friendly tow truck driver.  I phoned Donna… no answer.  I phoned my Mom… Dad was gone.  I phoned my Dad… he was downtown getting his tires rotated.  I phoned Jill, who told me her long tale of woe regarding a wedding-gift-headboard-nightmare that was still ongoing.  Finally I asked if she could come save me…..  I told her that I had wet hair and was in my bathing suit.  She did her normal loud guffaw and agreed to come.  I continued reading.

Jill pulled up and when I climbed out of the van in my bathing suit and cover-up, she was positively disappointed that I had my cover-up.  She was hoping for just the bathing suit in Albertson’s parking lot.  Anyway, before we electrocuted ourselves with the jumper cables (even though we knew that red stands for the blood of Jesus and is positive) a kind elderly gentleman showed up and took care of business for us.

All this before 8:30 a.m.!!!