If You Give a Mom a Lightbulb…

This is EXACTLY like the book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, except different.

I love a bright and sun-shiny house which is a bonus living in Arizona, land of the golden sun almost every blinkin’ day! But I’m also a night owl and need some electrical help for partying and mayhem after sundown. (Thank God we don’t have to kill geese to get fat, so we could rip up old sheets and braid them together to make lamp wicks!!! I’m also thankful for air conditioning, but that’s to be praised another time.)

So, when the three light fixtures in our kitchen/family room were reduced to only 7 of 11 bulbs working, I quit relying on Mr. Fix-It, and took matters into my own hands at Walmart. There are SO many choices for light bulbs these days. Thomas Edison would be in filament heaven had he lived to be 168 years old! And I’m not sure what I really think about the swirly bulbs that require a hazmat suit in order to dispose of them. My theory is that Mr. Hazmat invented the swirly bulbs to increase suit sales. Crosbys did not fall for that. We’re not from the sticks. (Well, I’M not.)

The bulbs were replaced in the kitchen and over the table. All went well. No electrocution. No falling and not getting up. Then came the family room ceiling fan/light. Good gravy, it looked so straightforward. I’m a technical woman who can change a tire and install a ceiling fan with the best of ’em. I thought I was capable of changing one light bulb without peril. Not true.

Carefully standing on the kitchen chair (not a rolling chair, mind you!), I unscrewed the bottom cutesy bolt and tried to lower the globe in one fell swoop. There were these pesky pull chains with the wide dealie-bobs that hook them together that did not fit through the little holes in the bottom support plate. If I were an octopus, I could have done it. But I’m not. Then I had to stand their holding up the globe while my little assistant fed the chickens, changed their water, gathered eggs…..slower than a turtle riding on a slug’s back!

She finally had the hens happy and pecking and she returned inside so I could hand her the light blub, each little pull cord piece, the fancy bolt screw, the support plate and eventually the burned out bulb. (Only AFTER she washed her hands to eliminate salmonella from spreading in amongst our family unit.) VOILA! Easy peasey! Yeah yeah, grasshopper, it all looks so simple.

I replaced the bulb like a pro. BAM! Next I put the paper-thin glass globe back in place, but realized I needed to put the pull cords back together first. PHUN! That done, the globe went back up and I began the trying-not-to-swear job of feeding the little tiny chains through their little tiny holes in the support plate. The globe slipped and I caught it. Catastrophe averted. I painstakingly tried again and AGAIN to get the blasted chains in the stupid holes. The globe slipped again and I accidentally slammed it back up too hard in my haste and it cracked. Not a simple straight one-inch-long crack that could be crazy glued. It was a sophisticated nine-inch crack shaped like a question mark. Cool! Um, no.

Slightly defeated, I put the globe in a plastic bag where it proceeded to break itself into two pieces. Over the river and through the woods to the hardware store we went. They do not sell replacement globes at said store close to our house. I did not want to drive all over Timbuktu to find a new globe. We looked for the cheapest light fixture that had a similar globe and bought it. Here it is:

That sounds all nice and quaint and smart and all. BUT, the center bolt in the ceiling fan was too long, so we had to replace it with the new one. Easy! The new light came with a fancy silver support plate and cutesy bolt that didn’t match. We decided to use the old gold ones, but there were no holes in the new globe for pull chains. So my husband got the wire cutters and cut them off. Just like that… no more variable speeds at the Crosby farm. Our fan is forever on high and the light is on BRIGHT! Those chains you see hanging there in the picture are placebo chains. If you ever come over to visit (or just to marvel at a hobo-Joe repair job), do not, I repeat, DO NOT pull on them. Use the light switch on the wall, please and thank you.

10 Days Past December

Usually I am a bit more up-to-the-minute on my New Years post with a review of the past and hope for the coming times.  2013 was put to rest none too quickly for my liking.  It was a hard and frustrating year due to the car accident and slow healing.  Glad that’s almost over!

On December 31st I pulled my journal from the bottom dresser drawer… the journal with the hot pink cloth binding and the swirly letter L with bling bling on the cover.  The journal contains my bucket list.  I usually don’t look at it but once or twice a year, so I’m pleasantly surprised when I get to highlight the completed items on the list!  In 2013 there were 2 1/2 items completed…. 1. Go on a girls road trip! CHECK!  2. Build a chicken coop and raise chickens. CHICK!  I mean CHECK!  And 1/2 of 3. See the Parthenon…. well, I did see the Parthenon.  The one in Nashville.  I didn’t even know there WAS a Parthenon in Tennessee!  It’s in far better shape than the one in Greece.  When I made the list, I meant the one in Greece, but I didn’t specify Greece…. so I half-way highlighted it with hopes of Greek Islands in my future still.

On the horizon for 2014, other than we should start getting fresh eggs come May, we have a few out of town weddings, a graduation, some missions trips and lots of excitement and hope!  I relish a fresh new year with no scribbles on the pages.

As far as resolutions go…. REZ#1: I’m going to lose the weight I gained while lying on the couch for months eating casserole after casserole that my homeschool peeps brought to feed our family! Believe me, I am SOOOO thankful for my community who surrounded us during that time!  What’s a bigger size of jeans?  Or 2?  But everyone plans to lose weight, right?

REZ#2: I am reading the Bible through again.  The Children’s Living Bible is the chosen translation again.  The best I ever did at reading the Bible through involved a plan that took weekends off.  I needed the weekends to catch up!  So I divided the number of yearly weeks by five days and then divided the number of pages in the Bible by that number.  Voila!  Brilliance!  Four and a half pages a day.  And it’s already January 10th and I’m ahead of schedule!  Oh Yeah!

REZ#3: Make a few more mind and life changing resolutions…. like spending time each day in silence, and spending time each day being artsily creative, and knitting (well, that is creative too), and spending time each day listening to good music.  “Good” by my standards, not my children’s.

What are your resolutions?  Did you make any?  Will you keep them?  Share the wealth!

Chicken Coop Construction

Third time’s a charm, right?  I hope so!  This is our third attempt at raising chickens.  The other two tries were highly successful and with each adventure we learn a little more.  Nov. 25th, Nora’s Gotcha Day, we bought some new chickies.  Darling little fluffy peepers…. soon turned into noisy, smelly growing birds.  But we love them.  Truly.  From that day, I knew I had approximately three weeks to get a coop built.  Time got away from me… and I ended up purchasing a bigger plastic storage tub to make my planning/collecting/building time last a tad bit longer.

My sweet supportive husband did not want chickens.  At all.  He didn’t even care if we would eventually get two dozen eggs a week.  Nope.  He is scarred from having to clean out maggoty chicken poop a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away.  It’s okay.  If I were born in a different era, I’m sure I would have fit right in with Little House on the Prairie.  Oh to have a free range flock!  I dream of wearing fashionable rubber boots and collecting eggs in a hand-woven basket from my huge coop at the back of the grassy property.  But no.  I’m in Phoenix.  In an HOA, nonetheless.  But it’s all good.

Being non-supportive, Mr. Wallet didn’t feel the need to “invest” in chicken coop construction.  Go figure!  The one I would love to build comes in a tidy box with a shiny picture on the front of a two story coop with a run, shutters, metal roof and wood paneling that I admire with ogling eyes.  For a mere $249, it could be gracing my backyard!  Trying to keep peace on the farmstead, I have been pouring over Craigslist, an online garage sale…. particularly the FREE section.  She shoots, she scores!  I found a 3’x3’x3′ wooden shipping crate!  PERFECT!  I did talk my sweet supportive husband into dumpster diving with me in the next neighborhood where new homes are being built.  We totally scored some 4×6 treated beams and a bunch of other useful pieces of wood.

Yesterday was spent removing nails, measuring, sawing and praying.  Today I called my two nephews and niece over from across the street to help me and three of my kids get the legs on this baby.  We should have video taped the whole ordeal.  They are ALL sarcastic and funny and loud.  I was explaining the procedure, “Two of you need to lift the crate,” before I could breathe my eldest nephew named his sister and cousin for that job.  Hardy har har.  The four remaining cousins were to hold legs in place while I screwed it all together.  They were all in place but talking so loudly I finally pulled the trigger on the drill and yelled something …. nice… like “Please use your inside voices” or some other such nonsense.  They all laughed.  In my face.  Anyway, we did get the coop duty done.  Tomorrow is front door construction and heat-lamp hole drilling.

The girls are getting all feathered out already!  HURRY!

God Cares About the Small Things!

It’s testimony time.  Please allow me a few moments on my soapbox to share the little surprises and victories in my life.

I am a farm-girl trapped in a city-girl body and life.  I’m not sure where my love for all things country came from (minus the music), but I have strong dreams and desires for raising animals, growing veggies, fruit and nuts, spinning wool and diggin’ in the dirt.  We’ve had gardens in the past.  We’ve raised chickens and rabbits in the past.  Currently I have a few potted flowering planters and a plum tree that has a promising collection of blooms.  However, I’m secretly sucked into the backyard-garden section at every and all bookstores.  The book The Encyclopedia of Country Living makes me drool and salivate simultaneously.  Right now I have a book from the library titled The Backyard Homestead that clearly lays out how to raise all the food you need in as little as a quarter acre.  This is my idea of a piece of heaven on earth!

A few nights ago, in the dark of the night, I asked my husband how long he thinks we will live in this house.  The land here is not large enough for my illustrious plans.  There is barely room for a garden.  Container gardening is all that we could do here for the time being.  He gave me his answer, which did not meet my deepest desires.  Long enough to raise chickens, but not long enough to plant nut or fruit trees or berry vines.  {sigh} 

Last night after a lovely dinner at a Mexican cantina, Rick drove us through the back alleys behind some homes that sit on an acre each…. I rolled down the window and thirstily sucked in the country-smelling air.  Horses, grape vines, goats, chickens, sheep, grapefruit trees…. ahhhhhhh.  The slow trip in the darkness did my heart good. 

OK, so today we stopped by a friend’s home, that is a mile from our house, to buy farm-fresh eggs.  They have horses, chickens, a lame goat, two big, fat pot belly pigs and two little two-day-old pot belly piggies. Darling!  I even held one! They just finished planting their garden in fiberglass barrels.  It was truly lovely.  It gave me ideas just to see their set up.  When I got home there was a message on my cell phone from that same friend asking if I could use eight of the barrels for planting a garden.  Oh, could I ever!  It was an answer to an unspoken prayer!

God does care about the desires of our hearts, no matter how small.

Stink Eye and the Last Green Egg

Thanks to one of my homeys in a denim jumper I awoke this morn with a flaming case of pink eye.  What in the world?  Did I shake hands with a six year old?  Isn’t this a childhood disease?  Anyway, my family is off to worship God at His place and here I sit….. only risking the contamination of our dog.  (Don’t laugh.  Trixie and Larisa gave pink eye to each other several times years ago…. back when we let them sleep together.)  Eeewwwwwwiiiiieeeeee.

Sadness has also enveloped our home as we bid goodbye to the only pets who were contributing members of the household, TJ (or Sidney) and Olivia.  The first time we had chickens (Thelma, Misty and King Pao) the kids bonded with their own and loved them and played with them daily.  Keeve especially loved Kung Pao and she rode in the power wheels jeep with him and clung to his bike handlebars as he rode her around the yard as she relished the wind in her feathers.  Those three girls went to a nice ranch north of Phoenix when we moved to a subdivision with an HOA.  So second time around, the kids built a coop and we went and picked up three peepers at Pratt’s pet store.  They are so adorable when they are chickies.  But the bond never formed and feeding and watering was a chore added to the chore list.  Not fun.  Personally I appreciated the yummy brown and green eggs, but it seems I was the sole appreciator.

Fast forward 18 months: a friend called and asked if she could come look at our coop and get some ideas about building her own.  My response, “It’s your lucky day!  Take ours! Can you come before Wednesday?”  So our feathered friends moved to their new abode yesterday and will be loved FAR more than they were here.  Farewell, TJ (or Sidney) and Olivia, already renamed Tina and Goldie Hen (Hawn, get it?).

And for those wondering why I keep typing TJ (or Sidney), we had two Rhode Island Reds because they are awesome producers of eggs.  But one died of heat stroke last summer when it was 118 degrees and I wouldn’t bring them into my airconditioned house.  (Please refrain from hate mail.) But we will never know which gal went to chicken heaven.

Peace out, Pink Eye Linda and Trixie

P.S.  Calling all cowgirls, new bags up tomorrow morning:  www.bagsforzaza.blogspot.com

My 100th Post at My Sister’s Jar

Lake Tahoe

Being the blogster that I am now, following blog etiquette, here are my 100 Things You Never Needed to Know About Me. (I tried to come up with information that would even be new to those nearest and dearest to me.)

1.  I have no Mexican dental work in my mouth. (Yeah!  We made it home safely and Rick is thrilled with his Mexican crown.)

2.  Even though I took two years of Spanish, my Spanish is extremely limited.

3.  I can count to 10 in five languages. (completely useless)

4.  I currently own 3 Spanish language learning systems… and use one regularly.

5.  I read Only When I Laugh in the past two days and was aghast when I discovered my grandfather’s name and story about him included.

6.  I consider reading therapeutic.

7.  I can sing the theme songs for the Brady Bunch, Beverly Hillbillies, and Gilligan’s Island.

8.  I don’t watch TV at home at all.  (We don’t even have it hooked up.)

9.  I loathe dusting.

10.  I abhor cleaning horizontal blinds…. which cover every window in the house.

11.  Watercolor painting is of high interest and relaxation to me.

12.  I’ve never had a manicure.

13.  I consider pedicures an Arizona necessity to avoid cracked heals.

14.  I have traveled to England.

15.  I have traveled to India…. curry lamb or curry chicken.

16.  I spent a summer in Kathmandu, Nepal… cooking for a missions team of 36.

17.  My dream vacation is to cruise the Mediterranean with extended stays in Greece.

18.  I have a list of 100 things I would like to do in my life.

19.  On my list of 100 things I would like to do in my life, only 68 are filled in.

20.  My eye color is green with gold polk-a-dots… but that doesn’t fit in the little space on my driver’s license.

21.  I have a birth mark on my left upper arm that looks like upside down bunny foo foo.

22.  Miss Potter is my favorite movie of all time. 

23.  I have watched Miss Potter at least 15 times.

24  I bought Miss Potter at Walmart the day it came out on DVD, having never seen it before.

25.  I have only owned Miss Potter for only 11 months.

26.  I have a pair of little white rhinestone-studded leather sandals on my computer desk for Zaza.

27.  I have four children, but Zaza is not home yet.  She’s waiting for us in Colombia, so she can be adopted.

28.  I met my husband on the first day of Orientation Week at Trinity Western University in BC.

29.  I was not real impressed when I met my future husband on the first day of O Week at TWU.

30.  I attended Rick’s High School Graduation with him.  (In Alberta they don’t have the ceremony until the results are back from their provincial exams…. in Sept.)

31.  I have over 100 guppies… but not for long.  VBS is next week when I give almost all of them away.

32.  I have two chickens named Olivia and either TJ or Sidney.

33.  I used to have three chickens, but we had two Rhode Island Reds and we don’t know which one died.

34.  I am not really a dog person.

35.  I have a Rat Terrier named Trixie.

36.  I am definitely NOT a cat person.

37.  I am drawn to royal blue.

38.  The colors of the sea are my favorites.

39.  When not loving blues and greens, I love hot pink.

40.  I have an Elvis bathroom in my home.

41.  I no longer have Elvis pictures that keep showing up on the walls in my bedroom.

42.  I love my husband.

43.  My husband loves me and Elvis.

44.  I painted the walls and ceiling in the Elvis bathroom red.

45.  I have a bathroom that looks like it belongs in either Graceland or a brothel.

46.  I have never been to Graceland, but I have been to Mississippi. 

47.  I lived in the lower mainland of BC for four years and never went to Vancouver Island.  (We were starving college students.)

48.  I have five male cousins.  That’s it.

49.  I grew up in West Coast suburbia in an Anglo Saxon, conservative Christian, Regan-loving-Republican, wooden spoon-spanking, fun loving home with a dad, mom, sister and brother.

50.  My teenage life of crime and mayhem consists of TPing and cruising the El Camino Real.

51.  I got a ticket for parking in a handicap spot.  $50 in 1984!

52.  I used to model for White Stag in Jantzen Beach, Oregon…. when I was five.

53.  I bought my very own purple Schwinn bicycle with a glittery purple banana seat with my paychecks from modeling.

54.  I take any opportunity to go fishing.

55.  I was flown into a fishing lodge at Margaret Lake, Alberta and fished with the chiefs of the surrounding Native reserves.

56.  I caught 6 or 7 large pike at Margaret Lake.

57.  I was the only one who caught any fish when I fished with the Indian Chiefs.

58.  My husband gave away all but one of my fish that I caught at Margaret Lake.

59.  I was left sitting on a gas drum at a dirt airstrip on a remote Native Reserve, Fox Lake, one summer evening.

60.  My husband tells me that he will never again leave me sitting alone on a gas drum on any remote Indian reserve.

61.  I have been to a tree stand designed to attract bear.

62.  I don’t appreciate tree stands.

63.  I have been a Christian for 37 years.

64.  I accepted Jesus as my savior by my bedside with my mom.

65.  I believe all US teenagers would benefit from going on a missions trip to a third world country.

66. I can usually sing a song about any word that my kids come up with.

67.  I have straight hair that is the envy of the 14 year old girls at our church who use straighteners daily.

68.  I teach my kids at home… we plan to homeschool through college.  (heh heh heh).

69.  I LOVE summer break.

70.  I had plastic surgery on my upper lip to repair a scar.

71.  I never had braces.

72.  My mouth is full of porcelain crowns… made in the USA.

73.  I have eaten chocolate covered ants… crunchy and chocolatey all in one.

74.  I have eaten ox tail soup… it was good if I kept my eyes closed.

75.  I could never be on survivor. 

76.  I’m wimpy.  Strange things make me gag… like stinky shoes, or a hair in the sink while I’m brushing my teeth.

77.  Believe it or not, I ran faster than my kids in a timed race at a rest stop three years ago (and won $5) I feel a rematch coming on.

78.  I don’t bet.

79.  I will never have a tattoo, or dreadlocks or piercings other than ONE hole in each ear.

80. I will never go bungy jumping, or sky diving, or cliff diving.  Remember, I’m wimpy.

81.  I’m not a thrill seeker, unless you include finding a sweet antique on sale from an un-educated garage sale giver.

82.  I collect Precious Moments nativity pieces.

83.  I am addicted to Diet Pepsi.  A half filled chilled can sits in front of me.

84.  I’m eyeing the corner of the backyard for a raised bed vegetable garden.

85.  I’m completely overwhelmed by the thought of digging and running the plumbing to the corner of the backyard for the raised bed vegetable garden.

86.  Sunflowers make me happy.

87.  I use my dictionary and thesaurus regularly.

88.  I am a card-carrying Coupon $ense gal who cut her grocery bill by 50% in 4 months.  Wooo Hooo.

89.  I taught Special Education, which prepared me for marriage and mothering in many ways.

90.  I’m the mother of the fastest 10 year old hockey skater in the nation.  And proud of it.

91.  I’m sad that my daughter doesn’t wear ruffles and lace anymore.

92.  I’m excited to bring Zaza home and introduce her to ruffles and lace.

93.  I’m still looking for the perfect bedding for Zaza’s yellow room and purple bed.

94.  I absolutely LOVE going to Lake Tahoe every summer.  It’s the BEST!  47 days until we go to Tahoe.

95.  I think God did a great job with the creation deal… lakes, trees, birds, flowers, pinecones, especially flowers, rivers…

96.  Scrapbooking is my game.  Tonight is scrap night at Darla’s house.  I’m there.

97.  I have my original wedding band from 21 years ago.

98.  I have my original husband from 21 years ago.  While in Mexico this week, a street vendor asked me what I was looking for.  I said, “My husband.”  He said, “Jus’ get a new one.”  No way.  21 years of training!  Hello!!!!

99.  I wish I lived somewhere that was always between 70 and 85 degrees, with a stream close by, a large English garden, a green house, vegetable garden and towering trees surrounding my Victorian home in the country.

100.  Roadtrips make my travel-loving heart pound in glory.

www.LindaCrosby.com

OOOOOooooo LA!

Today was a bit of a shocker for me.  A three year old was here for four hours.  The reality of toddlerhood has not been brought to my mind’s forefront for a while.  When Zaza arrives, I hope we cherish every chasing, wiping, picking up, changing mind moment that she brings to our home.  The three year old little girl that was with me today loves to jump on the trampoline.  Not surprising.  Ours has a full net so it is impossible to fall off or out or between the springs.  It’s adoption safe, as our home study social worker informed us.  So I left the three year old jumping happily… until I heard unusual sounds coming from her.  I couldn’t determine if it was crying or what???  I ran out the back door to find said 3YO on the far side of the trampoline with her hands in her armpits, flapping her elbows, “talking” with our chickens.  Oh, it was darling.  THIS is why I can’t wait for Zaza to get here.  I hope she talks with the chickens and says adorable little quips like, “I be wight back,” and “Come wif me, thez a BIG suhpwize.”

Side note:  Is anyone else having problems uploading pictures?  Or is it just me?

www.LindaCrosby.com