Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

In the year of our Lord 2016 decorating the Christmas tree, for some strange reason, went down a little different than any past year I can recall. My husband was here “helping.” Now I get the song God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman! Just go take a nap already!

Last week some thoughtful male in our home brought the Jenny Craig imitation tree into the living room for me. How nice! Except that it didn’t get covered all year from Last Christmas and was filthy. Upon request, a son of mine dragged it to the backyard for me and I gave it quite the shower…. lights and all. I couldn’t remember if the lights actually worked and I knew we had 27 million strings of lights from our daughter’s wedding in the garage. Her wedding wasn’t IN the garage… that’s where the lights were.

A day later an extension cord was also brought to the backyard to see if the shower killed the lights. Surprisingly, they worked! Joy to the World! Back in the house that skinny tree was dragged.

Decorate-the-O-Christmas-Tree day quickly turned into clean-out-the-garage day, much to my chagrin. It all started at 10 a.m. with the typical where-is-the-box-with-the-decorations search and recover mission. Then the shelves got cleaned out and the toilet paper and paper towels were put on the clean shelves. Then we swept the garage floor. Then the camping equipment got put back on the shelves. Then a ton of junk got thrown out. Then I got a big scrape on my arm that produced blood. Then we swept the garage floor again. Then we threw out the dilapidated camping chairs that served their purpose for 11 strong years. (This is how my kids write stories. Every sentence starts with “then.” It really holds the interest of the readers and keeps the story moving along rapidly.) Then we found the bag of sheep’s wool that we will need to study sheep in January. Then we were all hungry. Then the Popsicle man came at the right moment. Then five kids from the youth group showed up and ate tacos at our kitchen table.

Side note: this was a stay-at-home-and-look-ugly day. I hadn’t even brushed my hair. I did brush my teeth because you can only be so gross on a stay-at-home-and-look-ugly day. I was sporting a red t-shirt, grey bally sweat pants that are floods, fuzzy black slippers and a light blue and pink Peter Rabbit apron covered with ruffles. The Popsicle man is probably used to this sort of housewife-dressing-down-deal. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

It was 7:30 p.m. when Nora, our 13-year-old, could not take the suspense any longer and begged to decorate the tree. Okay, Okay! Don’t get pushy! Let’s get this Blue Christmas rolling!

We weren’t ten minutes into our mission when realization hit me that my husband hasn’t really helped hang ornaments on the tree for YEARS! He was not aware of the ornament rules and was breaking the ornament rules faster than I could instruct him in the ways of righteousness. Little ones on top. Big ones on bottom…. but not the last row of branches. Ugly ones in the back. Elvis ones in the back. (I had to make that two rules so Rick didn’t know I think the Elvis ornaments are ugly. Shhhh.) Expensive ones at eye level and next to lights. Sheesh. How hard is it? It was notably NOT a Silent Night!

Here is the front and center of our tree: (Several rules are broken!)

Then he figured since I had rules, he needed to make some rules. “Don’t linger by the ornament box! Just pull out your ornament and move away from the box!” Sheesh! I’ll admit I rolled my eyeballs toward heaven a few times and thanked God that He gave me All I Want for Christmas in this helpful man.

So, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas at the Crosby homestead! I pray your decorations went up with glee! May your Christmas be merry and bright at this Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Naked House

Since the removal of the real live Christmas tree (and the fourth or fifth dumping of the water from the stand on the carpet) and the fake Jenny Craig skinny tree with blue ornaments, the regular furniture and accessories have not made their reappearance in the house yet.  It looks quite naked in the living room and the family room. The garage is uncomfortably stuffed at the moment.  We need to bring in two coffee tables, three lamps, one chair, two silk Ficus trees and whatever used to be on the entry table and the piano. 

I think I’m liking the barrenness of it all.  Less to dust.  Not that I ever dust anymore.  I have children who do, despite the  infrequency that it gets accomplished.  Embarrassingly enough, the dining room chairs did not get their seats wiped for months… and in the dusty AZ desert, that is NOT good.  A guest in black pants, who shall remain nameless, came over, sat down, scooted back and unknowingly dusted one of the seats for me.  Yikes!  When said guest was not looking, I caught Larisa’s eye (the living room duster….) and pointed to the dust on our guest’s backside.  Good grief!

We had house guests visit for five days, so the loft/sewing room/school room had to be cleaned out.  I dusted the sewing machine and folded it back into its table.  I even dusted the elliptical machine.  It does get regular use, but the metal bars are a magnet to dust balls.  One of my helpful children loaded all the fabric from its obvious hiding place under the cutting table into a black garbage bag and to the garage. And even the loft/sewing room/school room looks bare naked at the moment.  It makes me feel lighter…. or slimmer…. or something.

All this nakedness needs to rub off in our master bedroom.  I desperately need to clean out the file cabinet drawers and file all the files on my desk.  It is a seriously organized conglomeration of files that simply need a home of their own instead of a pile… many piles… neat piles, but piles nonetheless. 

Anyway, I’m staying downstairs because it’s all naked and clean feeling down here.

AND the WINNER is…… (the envelope please)

I apologise for my tardy posting of today’s winner of my fantastic book Laughing in the Midst of Marriage.  Of course you have the privilege of hearing some entertaining stories before I announce the winner.

On the way home from California yesterday, the highway was closed for several hours due to an accident and the 100 mile detour was not very tempting.  So we after getting off the cruise ship at 9:00 am, we arrived home at 10:00 pm.  It’s only supposed to take 6 hours.   Bhhaaaaa!  Anyway, glad to be home and that’s why I didn’t post yesterday.

Today’s plans were to put up the real live Christmas tree in the family room for all of the precious handmade adornments that my children have crafted with their talented little hands over the past 16 years.  Well, to make a long and agonizing story very short, we HAVE put up the $5 real live tree…. several times now.  (It pays to wait until Dec. 19th!!!! It’s a nice tree!)  Currently, however, it is leaning at a 40 degree angle and is propped up between the wall and the entertainment center.  We have also picked up all the ornaments several times, shop-vacced the water out of the carpet and thrown away several glass ornaments that didn’t take well to being smashed to smithereens when connecting rapidly and repeatedly with the floor.  This is so FUN!  I can’t wait to do it again and again until we get it right.  I’m ready to hammer an ugly nail into the wall and tie the tree up with a bright orange bungee cord.

So, there was a slight delay in getting the names cut and folded for secrecy for the drawing of the winning name.  We also needed eggs, milk, bread, bananas and cheese…..  but I digress.  Child #2 hand wrote all the names. Child #1 verified that he did indeed copy all of them correctly.  I folded them all to improve the random choice.  And child #3 chose the winning name.  I bet you’re wondering who it was, aren’t you??? 

First one last bit of unimportant trivia from my day…. in the midst of the $5 Christmas tree fiasco (which is still not concluded) Besides the Christmas tree I also purchased petunias, lobelia, pansies and alyssum for my naked flower pots.  Keeve and I yanked out all the summer vinca and he asked if he could transplant his peas to bigger pots or a plot on the ground.  “Yes, of course, my little gardener.”  We readied a huge cement pot with new dirt and moved some empty pots of his that didn’t sprout.  Keeve sadly said, “A seed is not a promise!”  as he moved the dirt filled pots.  I previously read the story A Seed is a Promise to him.  So cute! (and depressing when seeds don’t grow!) Well, the peas were planted in peat moss pots and the pea’s roots grew through the pots and down into the soil of my raised flower bed.  BIG roots.  Deep roots.  So instead of transplanting, he just filled in the area with dirt and the peas will stay where they have put down roots.  (I told you it was unimportant!) And the winner is Valeera, aka Gram.  Congratulations.  Please send me your address via email and I’ll send out the book. 

Please come back for more scintillating Christmas tree stories and heart-filled holiday trivia from our home to yours with love.

NOW it feels like Christmas… fa la la la la!

The goal upon eyes opening this morning was to get the Christmas decor set straight and the boxes thrown in the garage.  With three children instructed to complete the task given and report back for the next task, all was done in only two hours.  Marvelous!  Here is a peak at winter in Arizona… holding the prominent location at the entry table, Mary, Jo and the baby Jesus…. along with various animals, angels and others.  Precious Moments nativity pieces are the only thing I really collect… and with the entry table full and some angels still hiding in their boxes, I don’t know if I really need the lighted inn, the palm trees or the wisemen on camels.

The table is set and the snowmen are smiling.  So am I.  The cheesy plastic snowmen placemats are for every day use to protect the table cloth.  All was lovely and bright and in place for approximately 13 minutes before four blobs of Crunchy Taco Hamburger Helper missed the cheesy plastic snowman and hit the bright and clean table cloth. {{{sigh}}}  (Yes, votive candles are on my shopping list for the little snowflakes… and nuts and candy for the empty squares.)

With no snow in sight, we do what we can.

Without warning, I was overcome with emotion when I pulled three Precious Moments Baby’s First Christmas ornaments from the box, knowing that one is missing from the tree.  The minute I discover Zaza’s birth year, I’m on eBay finding her ornament to complete the set.

Yes, my Christmas tree is blue.  I love blue.  It makes me feel cool under our clear blue skies of December.  Merry Christmas!