Uuuuugh x27

Glory be!  It was wash the floor day today, which always brings joy to my heart because it is not my job while my children still live under this roof.  My 16-year-old daughter, bless her heart,  was sweeping the tile in preparation for mopping adventures when I remembered that I had seen something on the floor between the side of the fridge and the cabinetry that was a milky-yellow, semi-liquid, mysterious substance.  If you have ever seen Buckley’s Cough Syrup… LIKE THAT except a little more yellowish and thicker.  True confession time:  The first time I noticed it was weeks ago… but Mrs. Procrastination + Mrs. Hates Cleaning = It can wait.  Stop judging me.

So I pulled out the fridge from its cozy spot only to be met by the most disgusting slop of a mess I have ever witnessed outside of murky swamps in Florida in 1986.  It was not only yellow… but black and green and dark brown… and fuzzy and liquid and stiff……    Did I mention that the automatic ice maker stopped producing ice?…… come to think of it…. about the same time the yellow goo peaked out from the side of the fridge.  I’m still in a semi-gagging state just thinking about that being in my kitchen.  I apologize if you’re reading and eating.  To clean the grimy pile, and I do mean PILE, it took a broom, a dustpan, a razor scraper, lots of paper towel, a rag, lots of soap and water, and finally bleach.  It’s still not totally clean, but I’m not sure it ever will be.  I could only hold my breath so long and I wasn’t about to risk passing out on that mess.

Of course, my beloved husband is away from the house… so I called Dear Ol’ Dad and he stopped by to take a peak.  He fiddled, asked for tools, paper towel, a knife and then he left.  He wasn’t sure if he fixed it or not.  We’re waiting to see if more puss oozes from the back of the fridge.

I did feel semi-better about cleaning the floor under the fridge, even though it requires more attention before the fridge gets tucked back in.  Then I thought of the stove that hasn’t been pulled out of its hole for YEARS, and what must the tile look like under there????  I just can’t bring myself to do it today.  Mrs. Procrastination is back!

Before you pass judgment on me, when is the last time you pulled out your appliances and cleaned the floor????

Good Grief! Where did this week go????

Just so you know, I haven’t been watching soap operas (we don’t even have TV) or eating bon bons (maybe that would have helped!)  This week has been one long blur of activity and busy-ness.  On Monday morning I figured out that school starts in one week.  Homeschooling, that is.  That’s when my life gets a schedule and free time is minimal.  The week before school starts is usually spent getting everyone’s books straight, cleaning the book shelves, sharpening the pencils (really!), testing all the felt pens and throwing away the bloopers, etc.  BUT, on Monday morning I also figured out that it was the last week of “freedom” to get stuff done around the house that hasn’t been done for….. well… some of them FOUR years.  (Sad and disgusting, I know.)  So I made a TO-DO list for my unsuspecting family.  Here it is:

 And There’s my hubby too… on the fridge.

The list had more than 50 items to be done and on Monday alone we finished over 25!  I was thrilled and exhausted.  We have slowly accomplished more of them as the week has drawn out.  The ones that are left require my husband to help…. or a task that I’m not exactly sure how to handle.  Then if cleaning and painting and wiping weren’t keeping me busy enough, my book came back for me to proofread!

So that was another day of not getting ready for school OR checking off items on the TO-DO list, but I’m glad that task is over.  I’m officially done with my part of Laughing in the Midst of Marriage.  It’s ETA is Mid September, I think.  I haven’t actually heard a date, but I saw on www.christianbook.com that it is pre-selling with a Sept. date for shipping.  Cool!

So THAT is why I haven’t blogged since Monday.  It’s not that I stopped having crazy things happen to me, or that I didn’t have strange stories to tell.  B~U~S~Y with a capital B.

My Holiday Planner

Aaahhhh.  Organization at its BEST!  Now don’t go thinking I’m taking credit for this fabulous planner idea.  I attended a conference and took a class on building a website.  The gal that taught the course has a website ALL about organizational tips for the holidays.  Well, this is right up my alley, baby.  Not only did I make myself a binder/planner, I gave them as gifts last year too.  Scrapbooking + organizing = priceless.  Here’s Kris Ann’s website: http://christmasorganizing.com/

The book is pure organizational genius.  It starts with monthly calendar pages and moves through every area of holidaying: gifts, decorating, letters, cleaning, favorites, where you hid stuff for next Christmas, etc.  Of course I decorated mine in wintry blues… my favorite colors that remind me of cold Canadian nights in the snow. 

Last year was my first chance using the planner for the months of November and December and it was the first year in 20 years of marriage that we shipped Christmas gifts to the Canadian relatives ON TIME!  No extra postage because of procrastinating!  Wooo Hooo!

The Deep Cleaning page strikes fear in the hearts of my children.  But, boy howdy, does the house look better during Jesus’ birthday.  It lists every cleaning job possible and then every single room and hallway in the house.  Sweet sanitary music to my ears.  You only do one or two rooms per week and it doesn’t even seem that bad, especially when an energetic mother and her three willing assistants attack the room simultaneously.  Ten to fifteen minutes per room… and the disgusting horizontal blinds even shine.

The meal and baking planning sheets were a Godsend come grocery shopping time.  You just can’t put a price on the value of preparing ahead.  It also adds peace of mind to the season that can be so stressful. I used a plain white binder and slid in the cutesy covers with silver glitter.

For those industrious fellow crafters and planners, here is the complete list of tabs: calendar, planner (weekly countdown of to-do lists), Thanksgiving (meal plans and recipes), cleaning, cards (sent/received lists and copies of past family letters), budget, decorating (magazine pictures, ideas from websites, lists of per-room decorations), gifts (planner with immediate family, extended family, friends, Wish lists, Gift Wrap Center, Gift Closet Stocking Stuffers, After Christmas Purchases and where I put them), food (meal plans, Baking planner, recipes), crafts (gifts to make, magazine ideas), wardrobe (A slot for each family members’ outfits: Sunday, Family Photo and Casual), Shopping Lists, and extras (lists of Christmas Favorite movies, books, music and Traveling checklists).

Join me in Christmas bliss.  :o)

Another FUN Saturday! Yippy!

I’m supposed to be cleaning my house.  We have a family of ten coming over tonight for dinner.  I’m drawn to things that don’t need to be done… and turn my head from those things calling me names.  Names like “Miss. Piggy” and “messy” and “bad housekeeper” and “disgraceful.”  That last one is ultra-applicable as my mother’s name is Grace and she’s a clean freak.  Sorry, Mom.

Why, oh why, did we choose horizontal dust-magnet blinds for every single blinkin’ window in this house?  It seems like they are always covered with a layer of fuzz… even the day after I clean them.  I need to market my phenomenal wonder of an idea…. flocked blinds.  They will be delivered to your door with a layer of decorative fuzziness already on them… and they’ll always look clean.  Can’t you just hear the sales pitch???  “And these flocked blinds NEVER need cleaning!”  It will be a QVC smashing hit.  I’m sure of it.

And baseboards.  It was a man who invented baseboards because he couldn’t cut straight lines in the sheet-rock to have it line up with the flooring…. creating yet another cleaning opportunity for the woman in his life.  Once upon a time, my baseboards were really and truly white.  Now they’re the color of almost chocolate milk… like when the Quick ran out too soon. 

The plethora of engaging items drawing my attention away from cleaning are unbelievable.  The weeds grew overnight.  They need to be pulled NOW.  I know our guests will already have assumptions about my housekeeping, but my yard could be my excuse if it is weeded.   But it’s 107 degrees and it’s not even noon.  Weeding will have to wait until wintertime.

The boys have built a blanket fort using 4 mattresses, Zaza’s purple canopy bed and all the sheets from the linen closet.  I asked them to put it all away before our guests arrive.  They looked at me like I had a third eye in the middle of my forehead.  “We built the fort to play in with THEM!”   Oh.  Well, I won’t have to vacuum that room.  Maybe I could throw the load of dirty sheets in there too… and eliminate one load of laundry.

Did I forget to mention that camp is in two days (Yes, I’m going to be “dorm staff” for screaming little girls for a week) and I just threw in load #1 of 8.  In my next house, I’m having a laundry room on the same floor as the bedrooms, behind a secret door with a big screen tv in there, plush carpet with triple padding so it will feel like I want to go in there.  I can play the movie Miss Potter all the time, and dance with one of my husband’s dirty shirts to “Shall I teach you how to dance.”

Maybe I simply need to get some matching pink cleaning supplies.  Then I’ll want to clean the house. 

One can dream.