Flashback Friday!

Well, tomorrow is Friday… but Flashback Thursday did not sound as good as Flashback Friday.  Anyway, our younger son who is the one sporting the orthodontic headgear has had the contraption on his face non-stop since he got it.  I didn’t think he would be this diligent, especially after the first night when he said it made his entire top row of teeth hurt!  Tonight I found out why he is wearing it every moment he can…. my husband calculated how much it will cost if he has to wear it for the full nine months…. and he told Keeve that he will PAY HIM if he gets it off early!  Bribery is alive and well in my God-fearing home. And can I just add here that money talks in this house!

This reminded me of another bribe-gone-bad from a few years back.  Both my boys were scheduled at the dentist on the same morning.  The dentist looked at our older son’s teeth and announced that one tooth, which was already loose, needed to be pulled.  He quoted me $60 to pull the loose tooth.  I phoned my husband to give him the update and he asked to talk to our son.  They talked.  Then hung up.  I asked what was going on!  My money-saving husband told our son that he would pay him $30 to pull the tooth himself!  A savings of $30!  Of course, our son was all for the $30 tooth pulling plan and started pushing and prodding the loose tooth.

Back I went to the other son in the next room and sat with him during his cleaning.  After a while, son#1 called out my name, “MOM!”  I went in there to discover a bloody hand holding the prized $30 tooth.  I was not surprised.

After cleaning #2 son’s teeth, the dentist reappeared in the room of son #1 who was still holding his freshly extracted canine.  The dentist was a bit surprised (and probably sad at losing and easy $60) and had a peak in my boy’s mouth.  His next comment made me laugh all the way home (just like the little wee-wee-wee piggy!)  “Son, you pulled the wrong tooth.”  It was all okay in the giant dental picture, as it was coming out soon and was loose as well. 

So we arrived home with the $30 tooth still in his head and a free tooth in his hand.  My husband gave him two days to pull the other one, or the $30 deal was off. At the end of day two the money exchanged hands and the Big Indian Tooth Fairy (my husband) was busy twice in one week!

Oh, the joys of parenting with purpose!

What’s Not to Love at the Dentist?

You know how you can tell this is not me at the dentist?  My hands aren’t in the picture and the nostrils aren’t flared nearly enough.  Yes, you guessed it, I went to my friendly dental establishment today…. just for a cleaning.  Well, as my sister and I both whole heartily know, levitation is possible just from a simple cleaning.  I think there is red warning tape tied around my file that says “Hyper Sensitive Wimp”on it to protect the hygienist from bodily harm.  Yes,  I have a few highly sensitive teeth.  No, there is absolutely no reason to spray cold water on them to check if they are still sensitive.  No, there is absolutely no reason to shoot cold air on them to check if they are still sensitive.  THEY ARE!  I’m just saying.

Over my sensitive years, I’ve learned to brush my teeth with warm water.  If I drink cold water my tongue naturally shields my upper left molars without me reminding it. And ice cream can bring me to tears.  It’s not just the frigid temperatures…. it’s hot too.  Hot soup, hot pizza, hot lasagna.  All must be blown on with tender care before inserting near the upper left quadrant.

So today, my tooth doctor, whose name is for really Montana Skylar, (sounds like he should be on a dusty horse roping cattle in tight Levis) comes up with a suggestion that I’ve never heard before for my tender teeth.  It’s called tooth varnish.  So I say, “YES! ANYTHING!  BRING IT ON!”  And for only $457 I can be sensitive free!  (just kidding, I was checking if my hubby still reads my blog.)  Anywhooo, I am currently sitting here typing with a mouth full of wax coating my teeth.  It feels like I just ate a bee hive.  It’s pasty white and filmy and Larisa says it makes me lisp.  WHO CARES!?!?  I might be able to bite into a Mint Filled Dilly Bar without spilling tears.  I’m not to have anything hot until tomorrow and I’m not supposed to brush my teeth until tomorrow morning.  That’s a first.  The dentist telling you to skip brushing.  I’ll report in when I’m wax free as to my level of sensitivity.  Pray that this wasn’t a scam.

Dental Work in Mexico

Yes, Rico needs some dental work done and being the spend thrift that he is, we are heading to Los Algodones, Mexico today to get him some gold teeth.  Joking, Mom.  It saves us hundreds of dollars.  Keep us in your prayers.  It’s a two day deal but we stay over night in AZ.  You can walk across the border to the dentist.  Should prove entertaining, if nothing else.

Keeve, our 9 year old, was on babelfish.com translating important sentences that he might need to use, like  “My favorite letter is Q.”  Things like that.  Larisa, 14, asked him to translate, “Please don’t abduct me.”  I told her we would be surrounded by hundreds of elderly Canadians and Americans and we’ll be just fine.

I’m sure at least one really good blog will come out of this trip.  Hasta la vista.

www.LindaCrosby.com