Another Day in the Acapulco Dress

Seriously, it is my summer-I’m-not-leaving-the-house uniform.  It’s a black cotton tank dress that is the epitome of comfort… not style, at all.  We all have one… but not all say Acapulco on the front.  My kids don’t need to ask if we’re going anywhere when they see me sporting the Acapulco dress.  It’s the sign.  We’re staying put.  My dad used to put on a red t-shirt and white shorts and all of us kids knew to get in the station wagon for a trip to Canada.  Traditions die hard!

OK, not a smart move on my part, but the day after a minor out-patient surgery I decided to move furniture.  Dumb, I now know.  Seems lipomas (benign fatty tumors) run in our family and so I joined the fun and had a few removed from my neck.  It really was minor… until I moved the living room and dining room furniture, which, by the way, includes all 25 of my stuffed-to-the-gills 12×12 scrapbooks.  Good grief, they are heavy.  The new room arrangement looks decent.  It’s hard to “decorate” a long narrow room and make it inviting and cozy, but I gave it a valiant effort… with stitches in my neck.  Like I said, I now know how dumb that was. 

This morning, three days post-op, I dropped off son #1 for a day at the lake of water skiing, boogie-boarding, jet skiing and tubing and then stopped by Wally World for milk, eggs and fruit.  (OK, and I bought some flowers to plant… BUT I’m not planting them for a few more days.)  Anyway, my strength was zapped by the car ride home at 8:45 a.m. where I discovered son #2 and daughter #1 still sleeping and it about did me in to carry in the groceries. 

So, I’ve finished reading a book today, took two naps, watched two movies and wrote a blog.  It’s 8:31 p.m. and I’m ready for bed.  I’m hoping for renewed strength tomorrow and planting-flower energy.  But they can wait if I need to nap again.

My advice to the world from my vast post-op experience, sit on the couch and do nothing the day after surgery.  Have your children wait on you.  Get drive-through food.  Forget the laundry.  Forget the dishes.  And most importantly, don’t move furniture!

Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is Silver.

Good day.  It is not often that I am at the mercy of a writing pad to communicate with my family.  But, alas, I awoke this morning without a voice.  Yes, the silence is golden for my children who are currently hiding from me because they know I have to search instead of call their names.  I’m wisely conserving my sapped energy by sitting at my computer.  So they have a few moments of solitary confinement of their own doing.

Being Wednesday, the Coupon Sense people put all the store deals on the net today and OH MY!  there are so many freebies this week and great produce deals.  Conveniently, Sprouts (produce/gourmet grocer) is on my husband’s route home from work.  So I called him to ask him to pick up some steals, but I didn’t get far…. the missing voice and all.  He couldn’t even understand my whispered “Sprouts.”  So I found my 9 year old and wrote Sprouts on a little note pad and handed him the phone.  He took the receiver and read “Sprouts”….. three times at increasing decibles to his father, who I believe needs a hearing test.  Rick is a pilot, so his hearing is checked every year and he claims that it is fine.  But the Sprouts phone call proves otherwise. (again.)

Why don’t my children ever lose their voices?  Even a few hours would be appreciated. 

My hair isn’t long, to say the least, but the coloring, highlights, hair glue, mousse and hairspray leave it a bit tangled at times.  I was combing my wet locks a few days back and I mumbled to my husband (the hearing challenged husband who has yearly hearing exams) that I should get some No More Tangles.  “What?” he asked, like I was speaking Swahili again.  “No More Tangles.”  ….. look of confusion registering on his handsome, yet dumbstruck face…. “What?”  Enunciating more clearly than the judges from the Scripps Spelling Bee, I uttered LOUDLY, “NO MORE TANGLES!”  “Oh, I thought you said No More Tangos.”

I laughed.  That would be a GREAT product to market.  Anytime someone who thinks they can dance, breaks out in a Tango, you could just spray them and relieve yourself of the misery.  Then I started imagining all the great sprays that would be outstanding performers for the public at large, like, “No More Rude People,”  “No More Mouthy Teenager” or my personal favorite, “No More Dumb People that Work at Drive Thru-s.” Sheesh. The only difficulty with that last one, would be that the speaker comes before the window where you would need to spray.  You’d have to back through to work it effectively.  Could cause some logistics problems.

Anyway, it’s time for Ollie Ollie Oxen Free, so the kids can come out of hiding and eat lunch.  Too bad for them that I can’t yell, “Ollie Ollie Oxen Free” today.  I’m pretty certain I can lure them with mouth-watering aromas.  I’ll fry some onions and garlic and then serve PB&J.  :o)

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