Hello! My name is Linda and this is my blog. The last time I wrote here to share my views and joy with the world wide web was August 4, 2017… … 559 days ago. So, I completely understand why some of you thought I died and you missed my funeral.
In reality, I did die many times in those 559 days. My life changed on several fronts.
Those whom I considered true friends turned away…. as recently as the last two months. Things in my life that I thought were solid were not. My expectations have been drawn lower. Sadly, my skepticism has grown in comparison. More sadly, my passion for writing dried up. Joy was sucked out of my life. Until tonight.
But this I know, my God is who He says He is… and He is faithful and true, compassionate and comforting. His grace is abundant as well as His forgiveness. He filled me with a love that I have never experienced until the carefully guarded pieces of my life that I held on a pedestal crumbled beyond my control… and I leaned into God. Never doubting.
Worship music about my Jesus fed life into my dry and aching soul like clear sweet water on my parched tongue. Songs like Just Give Me Jesus and Stand in Your Love and Fight My Battles. Months were spent curled up on my bed with my face in my tear-soaked pillow while Just Give Me Jesus played on repeat next to me on my nightstand…. the surrounding carpet littered with wadded tissues.
I have changed. And I have come to know that there is purpose in pain. We suffer in Christ so we can minister to others who suffer. Freedom has a price.
There are friendships for a season. There are those who should remain at an arm’s distance from our hearts. People let us down. I was not supposed to be so fully trusting in people… only in my Lord.
Blessings abound in true friendship. Seven dear friends stood by me and met my needs. Comfort with shared tears. Showing up at my doorstep with my favorite Starbucks drink. A frappe for a day of crap. They phoned to make sure I was eating. Texted just to regularly connect. And two new friendships were formed. Bound in love and sorrow… and hope.
The suffering here on earth is helping fix my eyes on the eternal prize of living with Jesus forever. Only then will we live without tears, pain and disappointment. I look forward to that day with renewed vigor. Just give me Jesus.
I also realized that I truly do believe what I have been taught my whole life… and what I have taught my children. Forgiven people forgive people. Hurt people hurt people. Love overcomes all. God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit are real and very close to the brokenhearted.
Joy is returning in little glimpses. Watercolor paintings of feathers. Red-throated House Finches and mahogany-masked House Sparrows visiting my feeder. Lavender hyacinths bursting with God’s perfumed fragrance. He loves to spoil us.
I’m not sure if that is a title to a song or not, but it should be. I am standing in amazement, once more, at how God brings people into my life EXACTLY when I need to hear what they have to say. I hope I am that person to others. People that I’ve known for years…. but right NOW I needed to hear their life experience that I had not heard until I needed it.
One such person is about ten years ahead of me in her mom-life-situation. She gave me some hind-sight advice that is so valuable. She started by saying, “If I could turn back time… THIS is what I would have done.” It was all very applicable to me and my life RIGHT NOW. It was wise council. It was pointed and direct. It was true. I needed to hear it. And God knew I wasn’t ready to hear it until now.
Another such person has been through several rough patches in life, which have given me insight that I did not/could not gain on my own journey. THAT is why God gives us friends who have walked different paths, tried different things, made mistakes, and offer excellent “travel worthy” words of wisdom from a been-there-done-that standpoint.
I’m thankful that my mind and heart were open when they needed to be. Not when it was too late. NOW, when I needed wise council. Thank you, God. I stand amazed at your timing and mercy.
The lack of blogging is due to a disturbance in the force. We went camping and didn’t take the computer…. go figure! Four families made some plans, reserved some camp spots, packed everything including the kitchen sink (but all forgot ketchup!) and headed out to the lake for four days of wilderness survival. It was hardly wildernessy or survivally, except for the hurricane that hit with 65 mile-an-hour winds on Friday night. The boy’s tent blew down flat… broken poles and all. Two of them moved into the boat (with a canvas cover) and two moved into the van. Let me just add that the wise man builds his house in the van. By 12:30 a.m. the boat boys were soaked and texted a plea to the RV, “Please help. Wet.”
Our tent was not handling the gales well either. A nylon strap snapped and rain was coming in on my head….. I was more worried about getting electrocuted from my electric blanket than worried about being wet. Don’t judge me. We also were graciously invited into the 5th wheel in the blowing blazes of the storm.
If the storm wasn’t enough, Keeve’s retainer went missing AGAIN. This is the second camping trip where the retainer was MIA. Thankfully it was also the second camping trip where the retainer materialized before his father could wring his neck.
AND…. our friend’s golden retriever was profusely sprayed by our neighborhood skunk. I’ve smelled city kitties before, but not so strong where it burns your throat. Wow…. brought tears to my eyes as well.
If all those events didn’t add enough excitement…. our car battery died…. deader than a doornail. So we used the van as a storage unit until my knight in shining work truck went a bought a new battery. Wow!
Yes, the water level is extremely low in Lake Pleasant at the moment, but it is filling as we speak. Many a nap transpired by the lake and we ALL enjoyed the lazy time of not being in the hustle and bustle of home life.
Despite the disturbances in the force, a relaxing time was had by all…. most of the time.
My own baby girl was IN a wedding this past summer. One of her high school friends who is a few years older than her…. got married. I know that sounds like a DUH! moment, but it made me sit up and realize that marrying off my baby girl is not that far in the future…. like another 10 years maybe. Maybe.
Today is a wedding of a daughter of one of my friends. That means I’m old enough to have friends with daughters getting married. I know that sounds like another DUH! moment, but I’m realizing again that marriage of ones children is inevitable. But how can it be happening to young people MY age???? I am heading over early to help with decorating. That’s what MY MOM used to do. MY MOM!
So, as today slips by, remember to hug your little babies, who may be taller than you now. It won’t be long until they come and tell you that they are leaving you FOREVER. Sad but true! Happy but true! This IS what we prepared them for, but no one prepared ME!
Eleven years ago, my sister and best friend, moved away from Phoenix to Washington state. REALLY far away. I didn’t want her to move away…. with my two cutie-pie nieces… it was not fair. But life is rarely fair. She left on a Saturday and I woke up Sunday and just cried. Preferably, I like to keep my peeps right close. I did not prefer this arrangement, but knew God’s hand was on their move.
Before Christy left she recorded this song on a cassette tape and gave it to me. (Remember those?) I played it over and over as a sweet salve to my sad soul. My husband got sick of it really fast. Well, maybe it was after the 127th time I had played it. And I usually couldn’t make it through the song without crying either.
A few weeks after Christy’s move and my mourning period had eased, Rick came home to find me crying again. It was totally about something else, but he non-sympathetically asked, “Were you listening to your sister’s tape again?” HAHA. It’s funny now, but it wasn’t funny then. Time has a way of changing scenarios.
Still today I love this song. The Lord has blessed me with so many friends through the years. I truly am thankful! Every place we have lived, He supplied a bosom friend for me. I love you, my friends!
Tonight we spent the evening visiting with fine Canadian friends that we lived life with up in Northern Alberta in the early 90s. I haven’t written much about our Northern escapades in a while. Quite a few memories were reborn in my mind tonight…. quality fodder for blogging. Good times! I love love love reconnecting with friends where it seems like NO time has gone by…. except for our husband’s higher foreheads and a few more smiling lines for us girls. We chatted and laughed and got caught up on 17 years of information in seven hours.
When we lived together in Fort Vermilion, Alberta our first children were born within four months of each other. We shared many meals and phone calls in those early parenting years. Hard to believe we both have four kids now. And my 17-year-old daughter LOVED being introduced to a “stranger” and told that she had changed her diapers. :o) Keepin’ ’em humble. That’s my job as the mom.
We’ve matured over the years, but one constant remained… God is good. All the time. Hard times come and go. But God is good. All the time. Amen.
We have almost been home with Nora for five month now. Time has FLOWN by! Most of that time she has spent playing with us or her cousin, Luke, who lives across the street. She has gone once to another friend’s house for the day. But today she had girlfriends over to play for the first time. Two sisters, one is 1.5 years older than Nora and one is 1.5 years younger. When we picked them up, they were all timid and shy with one another as they were almost strangers. They have met on two or three occasions, but never played together… hard! As soon as we arrived home, they all went out to the trampoline and the laughter and squealing began. It continued for hours. Sweet music to my ears!
I packed snacks and juice in Nora’s little picnic basket and they had tea on the little yellow picnic table in the backyard as the wind blew their hair all wild. And they talked non-stop. Like girlfriends do. At one point, the dog was bugging them, so Nora came and put her in the house. She poked her head inside the back door, and upon seeing me looking at her, Nora said excitedly, “This is SO fun!” “I know!” I responded, because I DO know! Why didn’t I get her with girlfriends sooner????
(Disclaimer: Nora dressed herself:)
Half way through the play time, I packed the three little girls into the back seat of the van so I could pick up Larisa from work. (Yes, she works now… but that’s another blog.) On the drive home, Larisa and I just sat and smiled as we listened to Nora tell the entire story of the day she got a family. It was so sweet. She didn’t miss a thing! “Mommy way crying. Daddy was crying. Larisa was really hard crying. Keeve was crying. They crying because they so happy. Austin no did crying. And I run to Mommy and kiss her and give her stuffs I make. She hug me. Daddy hug me. I was so happy, but I did no crying.” Melts my heart! It’s the first time I heard her tell the story! She was so proud!
Again I say, we ALL need girlfriends! They simply bring out the best in us!
Darla is my friend. We have been friends since we had a combined total of four kids. Now we have seven kids. We have multiple similar addictions including, but not limited to: scrapbooking, collecting scrapbooking supplies, visiting voting booths with sick kids, decorating our kids’ rooms, making crafty decor items, killing centipedes, refinishing old furniture, playing games and finding BARGAINS! But most recently, she has led me to my current addiction: shopping at Goodwill on 50% off day.
It all started last summer in the dark of a Friday night when my phone rang. It was Darla. In her most sinister voice she asked if I would accompany her the following morning as an accomplice to score some goods. I agreed. She had been to Goodwill on Friday night and scoped out some dandy items for her girls’ rooms. “Pre-shopping the sale” is what this is called.
This was not a beauty pageant, in fact, I think she asked if I would at least brush my teeth before she picked me up in the get-away car at 0-dark-thirty. Saturday morning, the alarm rang, I grabbed some sweats, brushed my teeth, found a hat and was out the door. She looked a little worse than I did, as she had not found a hat. Her red hair was sticking up a little more than usual. Possibly it was a scare tactic.
As early as our arrival at the store was, 30 minutes prior to the doors opening, we were not the first people in the race for the 50% off pre-owned merchandise. There were five people ahead of us. Darla was eyeing up these early morning shoppers and she figured only one lady with a toddler might cause some grief. She was fairly determined that she could outrun (or trample) her on the way to the furniture section. She carefully emptied her coffee cup in the bushes by the front door and secured her travel mug in her purse for the pending pursuit.
As we stood in line, Darla outlined the open door procedure for me in a hushed voice. She had scoped out a shelf, a table and a crib mattress that she was determined to SCORE! However, the furniture always goes fast, so if she took time to get a cart, one of her items might be grabbed by an offending shopper. So, Darla instructed me to take her purse, as well as my own, and head straight for the carts. I was to immediately drive to the furniture section at the far southeast corner of the store. She would single-handedly seize all three items.
NINE O’CLOCK on the button the doors opened and the stampede began. Darla was gone in a red-headed flurry. With both purses encircling my arm, I acquired the first cart I found and bee-lined to the southeast corner. Darla is good, baby. Within 27 seconds, she captured the mattress, threw it on her desired table, clutched the shelf in both arms and sat on the mattress on top of the table. Still makes me giggle thinking about it! SWEET SUCCESS! That toddler’s mother still doesn’t know what happened!
Even when Darla and I are off on scrapbooking retreats in Prescott, Arizona, we make sure we hit the Goodwill store on 50% day. The deals are simply too good to pass up…. and after all, it’s now an addiction. (I visited two stores this past Saturday…. 50% off day, baby!)
Here we are at our friend’s, Bruce and Connie, house in California… playing the train game Ticket to Ride. Obviously someone just did something naughty…. you can tell by the faces in this photo. I’ve been friends with these folks for over 30 years. WOW! We still try to get together every year for a vacation of games, movies, laughs and more games.
In March when we were dealt the unwanted hand of “no more hockey” for our 13-year-old hockey-loving son, we cried for two days and then went to Bruce and Connie’s house for a week. We needed the friendship… the laughs… the games.. the distraction from the life we’ve known for eight years that ended abruptly… and the life we thought we would be living for another eight years at least.
While we were freeloading at their home, I learned two valuable tidbits from my friend, Connie.
#1. If you put parchment paper on the baking sheets while you bake cookies it makes your life easier, tidier, quicker and your cookies look WAY better. She’s probably known this trick for years, but kept it a BIG FAT secret until this past March. It’s only been two months since that miraculous discovery and I’m already on my second box of parchment paper. Totally awesome!
#2. Women who are slowly losing their sight REALLY should invest in a 10X magnifying mirror for the sake of their eyebrows. I asked Connie for a mirror and she handed me this little gem. I took one glance and was horrified at the condition of my blind eyebrow tweezing ability. I have since purchased a purple $3 10X magnifying mirror at Walmart and my life is forever changed.
There you have it. Old dog learns new tricks. It is possible. (Makes me wonder what else Connie has been holding out on me???)
Well, ya never what might happen when it’s a girls night out in Phoenix. Last time me and my peeps went out, we sat in a Mexican restaurant and talked for hours. That’s it. Just talked. The girls were helping me with the end of my marriage book by feeding me real-life stories from their own marriages to get my memory working. It’s been months since Donna, Missy, Patty and I have been out together…. until last night.
Again, we ate Mexican as El Encanto (Uno, not Dos) and then Donna, the entertainment director of the bunch, took us to the Buffalo Chip for some bull riding festivities. It was hilarious… I think we were the only four not drinking beer and still having a great time. We sucked in the dust. We sang at the top of our lungs, “I’ve got friends in low places.” We cheered for the golden boy named Pretty Boy, even though he needed some anger management classes. We shook the bugs out of our shirts and bras. (Seems that we sat right under the light from where the bugs start their dive-bombs.)
They have a live video camera in the bull chute so we could watch the cowboys (and Indians) tighten their ropes and get ready to ride. My personal favorite was a guy named Bubba who has a small hole in his Wranglers in an extremely precarious location. Adding to this dilemma, he was on an ornery bull that kept squatting down in the shoot and Bubba had to do lots of kicking and pushing to get the bull up and ready to rock and roll. Sad part was, the camera was perfectly positioned to document aforementioned Wrangler hole as it continued to expand. The G-rated bull riding activity was quickly progressing through PG and PG-13 until my eyes were closed.
In the photo above, you’ll notice the announcer’s shack on the right. Well, Mr Bo-Jangles was having a humdinger time announcing until all of a sudden his shack went black and his mic went silent. We could hear him yelling “The plug! The plug!” Yes, his entire announcing shack’s electrical was run by an orange extension cord around the bull pen to a plug on a light pole. Someone stepped on it twice while we were there. So rinky-dinky, it made me laugh.
Anyway, a great time was had by all. And the Indian was the current winner when we left after round two. Round three didn’t start until 10:45 and we were officially done at 10:15. Thanks, Girls!
Welcome to My Sister's Jar. The story behind the blog lies in the original post on Feb. 2, 2008. Type "giddy moments" into the search box to find it.
I'm a homeschool mom who loves to speak and write, encouraging moms to press-on in motherhood. Two of my books are available NOW! Laughing in the Midst of Mothering and Laughing in the Midst of Marriage. See them at www.LindaCrosby.com or www.cbd.com.
I have four children, one of whom is adopted from Colombia, so there are LOTS of adoption tidbits here.
~~~~~~ Linda Ann Crosby
My Sister's Jar 