Posts Tagged ‘government’

Elderly Laughs

December 14, 2013

I should seriously get out more.  I have been thoroughly entertained by elderly people these last few days in my journeys around town.  Laughter is good for the soul…. and my soul has been well nourished!

Walgreens.  Change for a $20 and some red and green MnMs.  That’s all I was after.  Standing in line behind one elderly gentleman, I assumed it would be a quick ride as he was only holding a Hershey’s bar with almonds.  And the almonds shouldn’t take any extra time!  No.  It was anything but a quick ride.  I could have walked all the way back to the pharmacy waited in line behind two people getting multiple prescriptions and it would have been faster!  The gentleman was a little hunched over… I wondered if it was due to hearing loss and his tendency to lean toward anyone who was talking?  He was a cute grandpa: matching light blue jacket, polyester pleated pants and tennis shoes.  His gray hair was a bit long for his conservative dress… maybe he was out strolling for a lady friend???  The also elderly cashier rang up the candy bar and pronounced, “$1.09.”  The customer replied LOUDLY, “That sign right there says it is only fifty-nine cents!” The cashier asked him to punch in his phone number so he could get the store discount.  Ain’t no way on God’s green earth was he going to share his private information with a dang computer!  On and on he ranted, “You don’t know who is going to be getting that information!  The government is trying to take our money, take our medical, and now they want to call us at home!  I’m not putting in my number!”  I felt sorry for the cashier, who tried to explain that the overpriced candy bar was only going to be on sale with a precious phone number.  “NO WAY!  It says FIFTY-NINE CENTS!”  Around and around they went like Elf in the department store rotating doors!  At that point my MnMs were starting to melt in my hand and not in my mouth.  I volunteered to put my phone number in so the man could save fifty cents.  I stepped around the man and typed in my digits.  Both elderly men thanked me, as did the next three people in line behind me.  The happy, candy bar-carrying man then warned me about government intrusion. I secretly reassured him, “It’s our old home phone number that has been disconnected for four years.”  And then my secret was out.  He laughed so hard while telling everyone in the store, the parking lot and driving by on the street that I outsmarted the government by using a phony phone number!  I couldn’t quit laughing!

Next stop: Kohls.  Black socks.  That’s all I was after.  This time I ended up in line following two elderly women… as opposite as they could be.  The first gem that drew my attention was leaning heavily on the counter in her black bling-bling velour sweat suit.  Her thick, black-rimmed glasses were perfect circles approximately four inches across each heavily make-upped eyeball.

big-glasses

She was adorned with hot pink lipstick in the same shade as a swatch of her used-to-be-gray hair.  She was loudly protesting that the store didn’t carry the cappuccino machine that was in the advertisement she was waving over her head.  The woman who was assisting her was on the phone asking for someone to come to the front from housewares to help the flashy lady.  “Yes, could you please have John come to the front,” she asked and the bug-eyed lady leaned forward to yell into the phone, “IMMEDIATELY!”  This caused involuntary bursts of laughter from me and the modestly dressed elderly woman in front of me.  Our giggles were not appreciated by the cappuccino-less lady.  She turned to us and hissed… seriously hissed, “This is NOT funny!”  In my head I was answering her back, “OH, this is Hysterical!  I think this is SO FUNNY! You just barked at me for laughing!”  The other laughing culprit was much more kind than I.  She apologized and went over and put her arm around the pink-haired yeller, telling her that she knows this can be a stressful time!  Pinky did calm down quite a bit.  But I couldn’t quit laughing.

Bring on the Christmas cheer, old folks!  I love it!

RECESS!

February 5, 2013

Today we were having a bonafide homeschool debate between the evolutionists and the creationists.  Sadly, the creationists needed a bit more evidence and hard facts to substantiate their beliefs.  Despite a few deficiencies in preparation, there was deep discussion and questioning to be had.  We are studying the Grand Canyon and I was absolutely appalled at how the THEORY of evolution is presented as fact on so many websites….. primarily run by the government.  Sadly true.

Anyway, at the end of the debate the kids asked what activity we were doing next and I replied, “RECESS!”  A cheer rose up from seven of our eight pupils…. and then one little Colombian questioned, “What’s recess?”  Uproarious laughter followed.  Too funny, the things we take for granted in our knowledge of “real” school.  I’m all about this fake schooling because I am learning SO MUCH!

Group-of-children-001

Several years ago, my son, who didn’t read until he was NINE years old, asked what school they would go to if anything ever happened to me.  I teared up thinking that my bright boy who was years ahead in math and science would have been labeled and most likely put in special education had he attended school.  Knowing how wiggly he is, I told him, “You wouldn’t like school, honey.  You have to sit in a desk ALL day long!”  His clear blue eyes widened and he whispered in awe, “You get a DESK?!?”  Nope, he had never seen the inside of a classroom before!

Long live homeschooling!  Poobah Poobah!

H.O.W.3

July 7, 2010

Today I read on a Konos loop that History of the World 3 will be available this month as an online download.  It makes me sad.  I hoped and prayed for several years that it would be available for this coming school year RIGHT when we needed it.  And it is.  My high schooler has done HOW1 (Ancient History – Founding of Rome) and HOW2 (Medieval World) ….. then when early Spring rolled around and we were making class decisions for the upcoming 2010-2011 school year, I realized that my Arizonan children do not need HOW3, or more specifically, they do need certain history requirements that don’t include four successive years of world history.  The gap in their education that I have feared for nine long homeschooling years has finally surfaced….. Renaissance, Reformation and Revolution.  Oh well. 

My kids will be taking Government and the History of Arizona for their junior year of high school.  We found a YMCA government class where the kids actually participate in AZ government.  Sweet!  And I plan to teach History of AZ.  Both are one semester (although we’ll have to dig deep to come up with a semester worth of AZ history…. the baby state)… and necessary…… buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I’ve heard that HOW3 is Jessica Hulcy’s best work.  Her magnum opus.  I’m tempted to get it just to use it as a literature course.  The books chosen for all of HOW are amazing, giving the student a well-rounded view of history with samplings from so many great works… the classics…. the books I never read in high school, let alone in college.  Books that my husband has never heard of…. but I digress.

For the school year 2011-2012 we will be doing HOW4 – American History…. and get this…. I’ll have TWO high schoolers!!!  Where, oh where, has the time gone????  Weren’t they 7, 4 and 2 just last week when we started homeschooling?  Back in the good old days when it seemed like reading was going to be the missing gap.  Oh, we’ve come a long way, baby.