Laughing in the Midst of Purgatory, Part 2

Please read the previous post if you haven’t already.

The next day, after much laughter and hilarity and swearing on the phone, (I never say crappy out loud! I only spell it!) I realized that all my personal and family and business files are still on the email account to which I no longer have access. There is SO MUCH on there… medical info, log-ins for my different sites, copies of proposals, correspondence with publishers, disability info for our girl, all the info about changing the ESA law….. I NEED TO GET IT BACK!

My sister-in-law, Jennie, is a mastermind at computery affairs and let me in on the fact that everything that was ever on the internet is still out there in space and can be retrieved. IF YOU KNOW HOW! She then proved it to me by finding pages that I thought were lost for all eternity, saving me hours of brain power and typing time! It gave me hope.

Cox was contacted again. This time it was a nine minute hold time, but if my files can be retrieved it will be worth nine years of my time! Nice lady number two took my call. She asked me to verify my account with the phone number used to open the account. GREAT! I asked how many tries I get. She sort of chuckled and asked how many I need. I replied, “Three.” She obliged and try number three was the slam dunk. She shoots! She scores! The correct number was the house phone that has been shut off for five or six years. (Please remember that this account was only opened three years ago!) (Insert profuse eye roll.)

I explained that my account was shut down just last week, but I need access to the files. She searched her script …. and competently found section 127 where it read, “If the customer needs files from a closed account, send them to a tier two operator.” So off I went, transferring …  probably to India.

NO! It can’t be! Another person whose first language is English! It’s my lucky day! I should go buy a lottery ticket… except for we don’t gamble with the money the Lord has entrusted to us. Let’s move on. Nothing to see here, folks.

Once again, I lamented about my files in the inaccessible account. My newfound friend’s fingers were making a racket fiddling with her keyboard and I was put on “hopeful” hold numerous times. While she was digging for an answer, or my files, or playing Solitaire for all I knew, I decided to ask questions. Because that’s what homeschool moms do. We ask questions. ALL.DAY.LONG.

“Does Cox offer email accounts that aren’t attached to internet service?”

“Well, yes we do,” she claimed baffling me, “but only in certain markets. But you are in Phoenix and that market does have them still.” Well, glory be!

Through my mind went these random thoughts:

I don’t want to pay back $110 for my files! But I will.

What was that other birdbrain talking about… no emails without internet… GAH!

Do I even keep this account if I can get it back? They could close it again without telling me.

Is she simply acting like she’s trying to help me so I feel helped?

Eventually, the soft-spoken woman explained that this was beyond her capabilities and she would need to notify her supervisor who would call me back to answer my questions and find my files. Good. She asked for the best number to reach me. BAM!

Being an optimist, I believed her. It’s now been 24 hours with no return call. They probably called the dead house phone number, then sent a follow-up letter to Oklahoma.

Remembering more and more information that is stored in those missing files, my stomach began to roil in agitation. “Dear God, please let me get to my files,” was my last prayer uttered before heading upstairs to bed. Worn out and frustrated, I thought how could this get any worse?

Then out of nowhere, ZING! A blasted scorpion sunk its stinger in the side of my foot right by my little baby toe. SERIOUSLY!?! I’m not even joking.

People who don’t live in Arizona think a scorpion sting is the kiss of death. It’s not. Unless you weigh under 20 pounds. I don’t. I have been stung three or four times, so I quickly swallowed some ibuprofen, dabbed peppermint oil on the sting, and went to lie still in bed. You don’t want to pump the venom through your veins with activity. Today it is tender but I didn’t lose any sleep over the sting… or my files… thank the good Lord!

(Notice I refrained from mentioning that my husband owns and operates a pesticide business…. remind you of the cobbler whose children have no shoes? He does spray the house regularly, I simply find it ironic!)

 

 

 

Credit Card Issues from the NEW BANK!

I am on credit card Candid Camera. I’m sure of it.

With all the issues from our current bank with debit and credit card issues and address changes, we applied for a credit card from another institution, hoping and praying for better results.

There is no balance on the card…. it is for emergencies only.

Today I got a call saying that my payment was late and I needed to make a payment of $75 right now to set my account straight. Um…. $75 for what? I was on my way into an appointment, so I told the proper English-as-a-second-language fellow that I would call later and get to the bottom of this. He kept yammering. I said BYE! and hung up. See? I was nice and signed off.

I called later to get to the bottom of this. (Push 1 for English. Enter last four of SS#. Push 0 to speak with a live person. Hello! Name as it appears on the card. Last four of SS#. Full card #. Whew.)  I asked what my balance was. $59. …. $59 for what? (And what happened to $75? Should I hang up and call back for a lower amount again?) I asked them to check what the charges were. Seems there is an annual fee that they break up and charge monthly. (That info was probably detailed in that really long paper they gave me with font size 3 writing…) And we missed a payment. And now two month’s payments are due plus a late fee.

I told the kind man, who was probably in India taking my call, that I would not be paying the late fee for monthly charges that I did not realize were going on the account monthly. BAM! Last I knew the balance was ZERO.

He quickly took off the late charges (probably sensing my superpowers) and then……..  we were disconnected. Perfect.

Call #3 (Push 1 for English. Enter last four of SS#. Push 0 to speak with a live person. Hello! Name as it appears on the card. Last four of SS#. Full card #. Whew.) I got to chat with a kind lady… and had to explain everything that just happened again. I told her I was calling to make the payment, minus the late fee. She told me that she could see a credit for the late fee, but that the charge would not come off until next month. Seriously? However, she would be happy to take my payment, but there is a $9.95 fee for paying over the phone. Oh.My.Stars. Not happening.

My husband did not relish hearing this story (except the part where I refused to pay the late fee) and asked me to call back and tell them we want to pay the yearly fee one time. I did. (Push 1 for English. Enter last four of SS#. Push 0 to speak with a live person. Hello! Name as it appears on the card. Last four of SS#. Full card #. Whew.)They won’t. I asked kind-man-from-India-#3 if we could just pay the yearly fee and have a positive balance on the card and the monthly fee would be taken out each month.

I had to go on purgatory hold while he checked with a supervisor. Of course I did. Well, it seems that we CAN have a positive balance but our credit score will go down if we don’t use the card and pay it off monthly.

I think we accidentally got the credit card for kindergartners.

My 100th Post at My Sister’s Jar

Lake Tahoe

Being the blogster that I am now, following blog etiquette, here are my 100 Things You Never Needed to Know About Me. (I tried to come up with information that would even be new to those nearest and dearest to me.)

1.  I have no Mexican dental work in my mouth. (Yeah!  We made it home safely and Rick is thrilled with his Mexican crown.)

2.  Even though I took two years of Spanish, my Spanish is extremely limited.

3.  I can count to 10 in five languages. (completely useless)

4.  I currently own 3 Spanish language learning systems… and use one regularly.

5.  I read Only When I Laugh in the past two days and was aghast when I discovered my grandfather’s name and story about him included.

6.  I consider reading therapeutic.

7.  I can sing the theme songs for the Brady Bunch, Beverly Hillbillies, and Gilligan’s Island.

8.  I don’t watch TV at home at all.  (We don’t even have it hooked up.)

9.  I loathe dusting.

10.  I abhor cleaning horizontal blinds…. which cover every window in the house.

11.  Watercolor painting is of high interest and relaxation to me.

12.  I’ve never had a manicure.

13.  I consider pedicures an Arizona necessity to avoid cracked heals.

14.  I have traveled to England.

15.  I have traveled to India…. curry lamb or curry chicken.

16.  I spent a summer in Kathmandu, Nepal… cooking for a missions team of 36.

17.  My dream vacation is to cruise the Mediterranean with extended stays in Greece.

18.  I have a list of 100 things I would like to do in my life.

19.  On my list of 100 things I would like to do in my life, only 68 are filled in.

20.  My eye color is green with gold polk-a-dots… but that doesn’t fit in the little space on my driver’s license.

21.  I have a birth mark on my left upper arm that looks like upside down bunny foo foo.

22.  Miss Potter is my favorite movie of all time. 

23.  I have watched Miss Potter at least 15 times.

24  I bought Miss Potter at Walmart the day it came out on DVD, having never seen it before.

25.  I have only owned Miss Potter for only 11 months.

26.  I have a pair of little white rhinestone-studded leather sandals on my computer desk for Zaza.

27.  I have four children, but Zaza is not home yet.  She’s waiting for us in Colombia, so she can be adopted.

28.  I met my husband on the first day of Orientation Week at Trinity Western University in BC.

29.  I was not real impressed when I met my future husband on the first day of O Week at TWU.

30.  I attended Rick’s High School Graduation with him.  (In Alberta they don’t have the ceremony until the results are back from their provincial exams…. in Sept.)

31.  I have over 100 guppies… but not for long.  VBS is next week when I give almost all of them away.

32.  I have two chickens named Olivia and either TJ or Sidney.

33.  I used to have three chickens, but we had two Rhode Island Reds and we don’t know which one died.

34.  I am not really a dog person.

35.  I have a Rat Terrier named Trixie.

36.  I am definitely NOT a cat person.

37.  I am drawn to royal blue.

38.  The colors of the sea are my favorites.

39.  When not loving blues and greens, I love hot pink.

40.  I have an Elvis bathroom in my home.

41.  I no longer have Elvis pictures that keep showing up on the walls in my bedroom.

42.  I love my husband.

43.  My husband loves me and Elvis.

44.  I painted the walls and ceiling in the Elvis bathroom red.

45.  I have a bathroom that looks like it belongs in either Graceland or a brothel.

46.  I have never been to Graceland, but I have been to Mississippi. 

47.  I lived in the lower mainland of BC for four years and never went to Vancouver Island.  (We were starving college students.)

48.  I have five male cousins.  That’s it.

49.  I grew up in West Coast suburbia in an Anglo Saxon, conservative Christian, Regan-loving-Republican, wooden spoon-spanking, fun loving home with a dad, mom, sister and brother.

50.  My teenage life of crime and mayhem consists of TPing and cruising the El Camino Real.

51.  I got a ticket for parking in a handicap spot.  $50 in 1984!

52.  I used to model for White Stag in Jantzen Beach, Oregon…. when I was five.

53.  I bought my very own purple Schwinn bicycle with a glittery purple banana seat with my paychecks from modeling.

54.  I take any opportunity to go fishing.

55.  I was flown into a fishing lodge at Margaret Lake, Alberta and fished with the chiefs of the surrounding Native reserves.

56.  I caught 6 or 7 large pike at Margaret Lake.

57.  I was the only one who caught any fish when I fished with the Indian Chiefs.

58.  My husband gave away all but one of my fish that I caught at Margaret Lake.

59.  I was left sitting on a gas drum at a dirt airstrip on a remote Native Reserve, Fox Lake, one summer evening.

60.  My husband tells me that he will never again leave me sitting alone on a gas drum on any remote Indian reserve.

61.  I have been to a tree stand designed to attract bear.

62.  I don’t appreciate tree stands.

63.  I have been a Christian for 37 years.

64.  I accepted Jesus as my savior by my bedside with my mom.

65.  I believe all US teenagers would benefit from going on a missions trip to a third world country.

66. I can usually sing a song about any word that my kids come up with.

67.  I have straight hair that is the envy of the 14 year old girls at our church who use straighteners daily.

68.  I teach my kids at home… we plan to homeschool through college.  (heh heh heh).

69.  I LOVE summer break.

70.  I had plastic surgery on my upper lip to repair a scar.

71.  I never had braces.

72.  My mouth is full of porcelain crowns… made in the USA.

73.  I have eaten chocolate covered ants… crunchy and chocolatey all in one.

74.  I have eaten ox tail soup… it was good if I kept my eyes closed.

75.  I could never be on survivor. 

76.  I’m wimpy.  Strange things make me gag… like stinky shoes, or a hair in the sink while I’m brushing my teeth.

77.  Believe it or not, I ran faster than my kids in a timed race at a rest stop three years ago (and won $5) I feel a rematch coming on.

78.  I don’t bet.

79.  I will never have a tattoo, or dreadlocks or piercings other than ONE hole in each ear.

80. I will never go bungy jumping, or sky diving, or cliff diving.  Remember, I’m wimpy.

81.  I’m not a thrill seeker, unless you include finding a sweet antique on sale from an un-educated garage sale giver.

82.  I collect Precious Moments nativity pieces.

83.  I am addicted to Diet Pepsi.  A half filled chilled can sits in front of me.

84.  I’m eyeing the corner of the backyard for a raised bed vegetable garden.

85.  I’m completely overwhelmed by the thought of digging and running the plumbing to the corner of the backyard for the raised bed vegetable garden.

86.  Sunflowers make me happy.

87.  I use my dictionary and thesaurus regularly.

88.  I am a card-carrying Coupon $ense gal who cut her grocery bill by 50% in 4 months.  Wooo Hooo.

89.  I taught Special Education, which prepared me for marriage and mothering in many ways.

90.  I’m the mother of the fastest 10 year old hockey skater in the nation.  And proud of it.

91.  I’m sad that my daughter doesn’t wear ruffles and lace anymore.

92.  I’m excited to bring Zaza home and introduce her to ruffles and lace.

93.  I’m still looking for the perfect bedding for Zaza’s yellow room and purple bed.

94.  I absolutely LOVE going to Lake Tahoe every summer.  It’s the BEST!  47 days until we go to Tahoe.

95.  I think God did a great job with the creation deal… lakes, trees, birds, flowers, pinecones, especially flowers, rivers…

96.  Scrapbooking is my game.  Tonight is scrap night at Darla’s house.  I’m there.

97.  I have my original wedding band from 21 years ago.

98.  I have my original husband from 21 years ago.  While in Mexico this week, a street vendor asked me what I was looking for.  I said, “My husband.”  He said, “Jus’ get a new one.”  No way.  21 years of training!  Hello!!!!

99.  I wish I lived somewhere that was always between 70 and 85 degrees, with a stream close by, a large English garden, a green house, vegetable garden and towering trees surrounding my Victorian home in the country.

100.  Roadtrips make my travel-loving heart pound in glory.

www.LindaCrosby.com