16 Years Ago Tonight…

Sixteen years and two days ago, I went to the hospital to have a baby.  But the baby, despite his gargantuan size, was feeling quite cozy and decided not to come out yet.  So, with the IV still in my hand, I was sent home for a “good night’s sleep”…. whatever.  I felt like I had swallowed a watermelon… I was measuring 43 cm across the giant mound.  It was TIME!  It was actually nine days PAST the due date, but my four children NEVER paid attention to due dates.

Ironically, it was the Canada Cup hockey game that night….. and it was playing on the TV in the hospital.  And my husband was enthralled in watching the grown men on thin blades of steel, balancing on slippery ice, using weapons to hit a rubber puck at the net. Thankfully, my friend Barbie had come to visit me on the supposed night of my birthing… and gave me a ride home…. with the IV still in my hand…. for my “good night’s sleep.”

We went back to the hospital on September 13th, in hopes of delivering a child.  We never found out the sex of our children until we could see proof with our own eyeballs.  So, we were unaware that it was our first SON…. and unaware that he had the largest head ever to travel through a birthing canal.  The memory still makes me wince and sit delicately on my chair.  After much pushing and pulling and prodding and probing, Austin was born at the stroke of midnight.  The doctor asked us if we wanted his birthday to be Friday the 13th, or Sept. 14th…. that is how I heard it anyway… and we chose the 14th.  For 16 years, September 13th has held a special place in my heart as the day I almost had a son.

He looked like a hockey player who had recently lost a fight at the blue line, due to some of the prodding and probing… but we loved  him anyway.  Looking back, this was the first of four or five times the skin would be missing on his face.  It should have been a red flag for me as his mother, but no.

Tomorrow Austin turns 16…. but it could have been today.  Oh, the power in the hands of a mother on the birthing table.

Happy Birthday, son.  You have shown yourself worthy of being a fighter to overcome insurmountable odds… from the very beginning.  I’m so proud of the man you are becoming.  My buttons are bursting, almost as badly as September 13th, sixteen years ago!

My Husband’s 1st and Only Attempt at giving Me Acupuncture

Meet Trixie.  She’s our four-year-old Rat Terrier. One day I noticed Trixie was not eating and she was hunching her little back, so I took her to the vet.  Seems she was dehydrated, had an obstruction in her intestines and needed an IV.  We have an insurance plan for our dog so the “visit” was covered…. just not anything during the “visit”, like IV or X-rays…. but we have SAVED $1,498 since joining the scam plan.  The X-rays revealed… well, not much, but closing time was approaching so we were required to move Trixie to an Emergency Vet Clinic.

My husband, Rick, met his wife, kids and dog at the clinic, where we were all ushered into a room with the “car salesman award winner” canine technician.  She knew all the buzz words and was in her element.  “On a scale of 1 to 10,” she spit out while waving her hands by her ears, “just looking at your dog, THIS IS A TEN.  She needs surgery!  NOW!”  Talk about high pressure sales. 

Rick calmly replied, “How much does that cost?” 

“With the required overnight stay, anesthesia and surgery, ONLY $1,500 to $1,800 plus the extra cost for calling the Dr. and the anesthesiologist in after hours.” 

“Now, hold on.  What happens if she doesn’t get surgery?”  I thought it was a valid question.  The pet tech was aghast at the suggestion of questioning her analysis of the situation.  She flatly told us that it was mandatory.  Rick’s next question threw me a bit.  He commented on how much better the dog was now looking, then whispered out the side of his mouth so the kids couldn’t hear him, “How much to put the dog down?”  I knew he wouldn’t do it, but I also knew there would be no $1,500 + extras surgery.

I left at that point to take one of the kids to some sort of lesson or practice. We all arrived home that night… even Trixie.  Rick refused to leave the dog in their care and was sent home with IV bags to be administered every 8 hours.  I quickly did the calculations and realized Rick would be at work during a few of those times.  I HATE needles.  That was the worse part of childbearing, in my opinion…. the IV in the hand.  Still makes me shudder.  I looked at my husband and relayed that I would not be playing nursemaid to the dog… especially if needles were involved… and I went to bed. 

Later Rick came and kindly asked me to at least hold the dog so he could give her the bag of fluid.  All went well…. the dog bed on the kitchen table with the docile animal lying still.  The needle was inserted… but the IV bag was just out of reach.  So as I’m holding the dog with the needle in her neck, Rick is balancing the IV tubes over my head while reaching for the bag of juice.  Whammo!  It happened so fast I couldn’t believe my own bloodshot eyes.  The needle came out of the dog and into the back of my hand… inches from my birthing IV entrance points.  I let go of the dog.  The needle fell to the floor, spraying liquid nutrition in short bursts on the tile, and I spoke clearly but quietly while holding my wound, “That’s it! I am going back to bed.”

I prayed that I wouldn’t get rabies, or scabies, or ringworm or fleas from the acupuncture treatment…. and I didn’t.  I’m still here to tell the story… but don’t ever ask me to help out with animal drug administrations!