The Mother Sash

On facebook I read a post from a pious guy complaining about young mothers posting “ridiculously disgusting” news of children going potty for the first time,  doing their first doody in the potty and so on.  I almost commented that 30-something years ago, if facebook had been around, HIS mother would have been posting the SAME thing!  If you’ve never been a mother, you don’t get it.  At all.

There isn’t a sash with badges for mothers, but if there were, the MY KID WENT IN THE POTTY badge would be worn proudly and loudly in a prominent location on that sash.  It is a rite of passage.  And many other mothers would cheer loudly and proudly right along with the new badge toting mother, knowing what she went through to earn that iron-on emblem!

My eldest turns 20 in two weeks and I remember the day LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY when I would have earned my first of three “My kid went poopy in the potty” badges.  Not trying to embarrass my eldest, but children whose mothers have blogs are stronger for it!  My husband and I conversed on the appropriate bribe before we settled on the much sought after gummi bear.  We bought a jar with a sealing lid for the shelf above the toilet and filled it with gummy goodness.  We explained the rules, because all of life’s great advancements have rules.  1 poopy in the potty = 1 gummi bear.  Easy peasey.

My husband arrived home on the first gummi bear award winning day and the jar was already empty.  M-T!   Unbelievably, he accused me of eating the gummi bears.  I understood his accusation, as I had in the past eaten ALL the chocolate chip cookies in the cookie jar… and all the rice krispie squares in the pan.  (No, wait.  That was HIM!)  Motherhood is stressful at times.  However, I denied the accusation and explained the newly discovered talents of our little bomb-dropping angel.  She could do one little teeny eensy weensy doo-doo and then hop off the potty, “ALL DONE!”  She deserved every gummi bear she ate.  What skill!  What control!  Time for a new rule!

This is facebook worthy news that should be celebrated by at least half of humanity despite Mr. That’s-Disgusting’s opinion.

The other imaginary badge on my imaginary sash that I remember earning with pride was the “All my kids can barf in the toilet” badge.  THAT is an accomplishment!  It saves time, money, hassle, midnight sheet changes, etc. etc. etc.  In the early years of mothering, these tasks are paramount to parenting!  Nothing could make a young mom happier.  NOTHING!  And to be recognized for our accomplishments in bringing about these world changing events would have been awesome.  But no.

The moral of the story is: next time a young mom posts on facebook about a child’s success in the bathroom, congratulate HER with much fanfare.  It is her life.  It is her mission.  It is her mission accomplished at that juncture in life!

(I apologize if you can’t ever eat another gummi bear without thinking about my angel.)

Tomorrow School Starts

The first thing the pupils will be participating in here at L.A.K.E. Academy is Lost and Found.  (Crosby homeschool… LAKE is spelled by the first letters of my kids’ names.)  I hear they have Lost and Found at schools throughout the United States and Canada, so I thought we would try it here too.  It’s more of a participatory activity here…. not like at schools where it’s a last resort event.  We are STARTING with Lost and Found. 

First we’re going to find our school books that were LOST all summer.  Then we’re going to look through them until the place where we last worked is FOUND! This may seem silly and trivial to those who send their children to classrooms where organized teachers work their wonders…. but here at the LAKE, it’s serious business.  Many prayers are sent heavenward by the pupils in hopes that certain books will never be located.  My youngest dislikes math.  My middle dislikes spelling.  My eldest dislikes history.  The teacher dislikes complainers.  It’s the circle of homeschool life.  Round and round we go.

After we finish Lost and Found, we’ll have recess and lunch and recess.  Then we’ll do geography (play Ticket to Ride) and then sociology mixed with economics (play Settlers of Catan) then we’ll have third recess.  We might set up the boys’ binders…. but that’s only if we get to it before fourth recess.  We’ll see.

AND… the kid’s favorite part of the new school year…. the annual photo in front of the schoolhouse house. (That picture was taken in 2005!) Their smiles get more mischievous as the years go on.  This will be YEAR TEN!!!!  I can hardly believe it. 

Let’s roll!

My Kids are SO Smart

It always makes my chest puff up a bit and my buttons strain before bursting when my children make a comment about something we studied together YEARS ago.  It means they were actually listening to me!  Glory be!  Some historical information was actually stored in their little heads.  And there is recall! Sweet mercy, it does a homeschooling mother’s heart good. 

It happened this week.  My oldest son who is 13 was asked to prune an unruly bush in the backyard.  He primarily does ball-shaped pruning, but this was a grassy plant with cat tail-like projecting sticks…. not the ball-shaped type of bush.  I was explaining to him that I wanted a diamond-shaped result and used repeated hand motions for clarification.

My 11-year-old son commented from the couch, helping his mother’s dismal explanation, “She means like a Russian onion dome!”  Immediately the older boy got it…. “Oh!  OK!”  And went outside with the electric pruning shears in hand.  We studied Russia in 2007!  My kids are so smart!  St. Basil’s Cathedral… that’s exactly what I meant!  I felt like yelling out the back door, “And could you please make the oleander bush into Khufu’s pyramid?”  But I restrained myself.

Perspective – Year after Year

As 2009 draws to a close, I find my perspective of the past two years to be quite an image of opposites… without appearing so at first glance.  I remember sitting on New Year’s Eve 2007 with great expectations and excitement for the coming 2008.  I was absolutely giddy for all that was to follow…. and it did not disappoint.  We were booked on a cruise for my parent’s 50th anniversary with my siblings and their spouses.  Our first trip without kids….. as adults.  We were overjoyed. 

Early 2008 I was in the throngs of getting our first book published, my website up and book signings arranged.  It was a whirlwind of activity…. and it did not disappoint.  I still love my website, even though it desperately needs to be updated.  The motherhood book was cuter than I could have imagined and the book signings were so much more than I hoped they could be.  I was overjoyed.

Looking at 2009, you would think my anticipation and responses would be nearly similar, as our second book was published and Rick and I again escaped to a cruise ship for five days… alone this time.  There were plenty of book signing opportunities and speaking engagements to fill my calendar.  But my summaries of the two years are not at all alike. 

2008: thrilling, awesome, love to relive it all. 

2009: emotionally draining, glad it’s over, can’t wait to start a new year. 

WOW!  It makes me feel better just knowing that today is the last day of my most frustrating year ever.

Why? you ask.   It seemed that all things that I hold dear to my heart took a beating this year…. my family, friends, church and homeschooling.  It was a year of trials, disappointments, changes and a realization that we were on the wrong track.  That in itself is a good thing as we begin our new year aiming in a different direction.  Sometimes I like change…. like the change from a $100 bill when I only bought a pack of gum.  I also like change when it comes to dirty socks, sheets and past season flowers in my backyard pots.  I don’t appreciate change when it comes to churches, friends, or finances. 

Typically I’m not an emotional wreck, but most of June I spent crying and hiding in my room.  I read more Christian western 1850’s romances this summer than the past five years combined.  Why? you ask.  Because I needed to escape.  I didn’t want to face the facts that were dumped upon me and our family. I didn’t want my life to change.  I relished feeling secure in how things have been for years and there was a huge rock in the road that upset the apple cart.  My apples were everywhere but in the cart for many months.  I still don’t have them all gathered back.

One thing we realized (remembered) is we are becoming who we surround ourselves with… and we needed to seek out others who were truly like minded with us in regard to our family beliefs with church and school.  We slowly, over years, came to the place where we couldn’t even talk about our calling to teach our kids at home for fear of offending those we spent the most time with.  Not that we are abandoning friendships of old, we just needed to be encouraged and prodded and slapped on the back by others who understand our calling…. our lifestyle of homeschooling.  It truly encompasses all we do as a family.

After much soul-searching and over a year of prayers, we felt the time was upon us to find a new church.  For those who know me well, this is not how I roll.  I am not a quitter, and that is how it seemed to me at the time.  We have been at the same church for ten and a half years.  Our boys don’t remember any other church.  Our dearest friends were there… scads of them.  But I can honestly say that the day we walked into a different church for the first time, it was like a breath of fresh air that I didn’t know I needed so desperately.  I haven’t exactly embraced it wholeheartedly, but I know we’re in good hands, even though I can’t quite put their sticker on my back window of the van at this time. (Are back window church stickers only the rage in Phoenix???)

I haven’t come full circle with the challenges that arose, but I do see how the Lord has provided friendships for me along the way.  Awesome women of God to come along side of me.  God allowed challenges to force us to see the error of our ways and our need to seek His face.  So, for that, and for the bumps in our 2009 road, I’m grateful.  Supremely grateful they’re over!

2010… let’s roll.

The Grassy Thinking Mat

Remember back when my son Keeve mowed the huge Q in the lawn?  Well, he’s back at it.  This time it is an 18″ square … the perfect size he tells me for sitting and thinking.  I saw the square about three minutes after the lawn mower shut off and I yelled out the door to get rid of the square.  But it seems the mower was already dragged through the side yard and out by the garage…. and the gate was shut and the cinder blocks were back in place so the dog won’t escape.  “Too late, Mom.”  Too late, my foot. 

The edging hasn’t been done in a long time, but WAS done while the grass was being mowed.  After the mower was put away, I took Keeve out there and showed him how the edges are all brown because the grass grew too long.  I also explained that the same thing would happen to the “thinking square”.  He just smiled.  It was 111* today, so I didn’t have the heart to send him out with scissors.  But tomorrow at 6:30 am it should only be in the high 80’s, the perfect temperature to cut grass with scissors.  Don’t ya think?

Mother’s Day Contest!!!! {free}

In honor of mothers on Mother’s Day 2009, I decided to share the love and give away one of my books Laughing in the Midst of Mothering: Finding Joy in Being a Mom.  (A quicker title choice would have been MOM – JOY!)  All you need to do to enter is put your name in the comment section of this blog.  I’ll put them all in a hat and draw one on Monday.  My panel of qualified homeschooling judges will verify the security of the ballots and the non-biased choice of the winning ticket.

Laughing in the Midst of Mothering is a devotional for moms of all ages (and dads have found it amusing as well) and a compilation of stories that have actually occurred in my home.  If you think your children are interesting, wait ’til you read about mine.  If you need to verify the contents of the book as truly joy-bringing you can check it out at:  www.LindaCrosby.com, www.cbd.com, www.amazon.com, etc., or wherever fine books are sold on the net.

Mother’s Day is nine days away so here’s the deal.  I need mailing time, so the deadline for this thrilling contest is Monday, May 4, 2009 at 9:00 pm, AZ time.  (I think we are on Pacific time at the moment…. we never move our clocks down here in AZ.  The rest of you confuse me on this deal.)

If your name is not chosen and you think this is still a fabulous Mother’s Day gift, order one for your mom, your friends, your aunties and your neighbors. It’s guaranteed to bring a smile to the most prune-ish face.  Again, www.LindaCrosby.com.  For a discount on mailing more than one book, please send me a note and I’ll hook you up.

Happy May Day!  And good luck!

Le freak, c’est chic. Freak out!

Sing it with me…. “Aaaaaaaaahhhhh, Freak Out!” 

Enjoying every moment of non-stress Christmas break, I was spending a To-Do-List-Less day minding my own business, when BAM! 

Actually, I spent about an hour online last Thursday morning choosing a Conversational Spanish class that is offered at a local community college for eight weeks.  I knew it would be hard (due my 42 year old brain… and a 25 year gap from my last Spanish class) and time consuming (twice a week for 3 hours) but I feel like I need to take it before we go to Colombia.  I found the textbook.  I found the school.  I called Rick and informed him that we would need to find a ride to hockey for Keeve for eight Wednesday nights.  OK, then BAM! happened.

I phoned Michelle, my editor in Nashville, to report a printing glitch that was found in one of my books, Laughing in the Midst of Mothering.  (www.LindaCrosby.com) After discussing the hows and whys of printing boo-boos, she casually mentioned that the week before she had presented my next book, Laughing in the Midst of Marriage, to the board of the publishing house and they gave it the thumbs up!   Whooooooo Hoooooooo!  She mentioned September for having it out!  Thrilling!  Yes! 

We hung up… and the Freak Out part started.  Where in the world was the file folder with my “book”?  I was on the phone with my sister while digging through my bedside table, pulling piles out from under my bed, shoveling stuff off my desk.  It only took me about five minutes to locate the collection of stories.  Then I remembered the minor computer faux pas that “hid” my entire computer profile…. including all my writing.  GREAT!  Thanks to my new best friend in the world, Missy’s Ken, the files were recovered… but they are not in a working file.  So today I spent my free time transferring and copying files so I can get down to business.

All that to say, I’m so excited about the marriage book and I won’t be taking Conversational Spanish any time soon.

Ta Da!

 

Here she is.  My magnum opus.  :o)

 

My book and my prolific bougainvilla.

Yesterday was the day I have been waiting for for over 3 years.  My books arrived at our door.  WOOooooo HOOOooooo!  It is titled Laughing in the Midst of Mothering: Finding Joy in being a Mom.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t home when the truck pulled up and Austin called me to give me a moment by moment account of the driver getting out…. getting the dolly…. loading the cartons… Larisa opening the garage door….  So, two hours later I arrived home to see them for the first time.  My kids had already openend a box and looked at them.  How could I blame them? Their picture is on the back too.  The books are cute.  I mean, really.  It’s pink and has a cute mama on the front.  And my name is on the cover.  I can cross “Having a book published” off my bucket list.  They will be available on my website SOON! 

AND…. I’m 42 today.  So I actually held my first book when I was 41.  What a fantastic birthday gift!  We had birthday dinner at my parent’s house last night (because tonight is church) and mom made her famous Russian Kulebiaka loaf.  It’s my favorite and I’m heading there for lunch today for leftovers.  Skip the cake, bring on the loaf.

Today, more than ever, as my ringtone loudly blasts by Rachel Lampa, “I am blessed.  I am blessed.  From when I rise up in the morning ’til I lay my head to rest.”  I feel very blessed, thankful and full of joy.  Tough days come, but today is a day I will remember for a lifetime. 

Oh, and did I mention that my kids made me breakfast in bed?  Yes,  I had to lie there until 10:00, but it eventually came!  Swedish pancakes with powdered sugar, a cutie orange, sliced apples and Larisa’s specialty, crunchy fried garlic potato cubes.  I was in heaven.  THEN I got cards from my boys and Austin wrote the most words he has ever written to me, including “Thanks for being my mama for 11 years.”   Ahhhhh.   AND my dear husband wrote on our bathroom mirror in barsoap a lovey birthday greeting.

Thank you, family and friends, for loving me!  XOXOXOXOXOXO