Lahaina Drivel from Yours Truly

Maui is an island paradise. Beauty captured in every direction is astounding. The mountains and valleys just a mile or two away are incredibly green and rugged. The lush farmland is also astonishing, especially near Lahaina as it is known for little rain and hot days.

However much greenery and lush landscape eye candy there is, unfortunately there are hazards to casual sleeping-in-mornings and lazy island times. They are known as the roosters of Maui. They are even referred to as feral chickens. Previous to this island adventure, I had only heard of feral cats. You would think with the food prices here, free chicken walking around would be less common than they are. But no. They are everywhere.

There is one happy rooster who lives somewhere near my sister’s house where we are staying. Even with my earplugs in I can hear him each morning strutting his stuff and cock-a-doodle-doing to his little heart’s content.

Still being half on AZ time, I am awake each morning before 7:00. Those who know me, know how unusual this is, but sadly it is true. As I laid in bed these past mornings listening to the bird brained alarm clock, I decided to time the crows… you know, just to see if I was exaggerating the frequency of Mr. Fog Horn Leg Horn‘s clucks. He proudly announces morning’s arrival every 8 to 21 seconds. Seriously. Over and over and over and over. For HOURS.

I started dreaming of where I could purchase a gun on the island, or at least a sling shot.

Then this morning, the crowing sounded like he was sitting on the headboard of my bed! I grabbed the camera and went outside to capture the beast for posterity. It was our first encounter of each other. To my dismay, he would not come out of the shade… but oh was he a pretty bird! Opalescent green breast feathers, royal blue hues in his tail, deep red and bright orange neck feathers all mixed together in a glorious display of pageantry. Irritatingly loud pageantry.

Made me want to go eat at Chick-fil-A! Or Kentucky Fried Chicken! Or Church’s Fried Chicken! Or even a McChicken with a side of chicken nuggets at McDonalds!

Pray for me. I didn’t realize I had anger issues to this degree!  LOL!

Physio-Fly-Swatter-Therapy

Last May we were camping at Lake Pleasant and it truly was pleasant… except for one thing.  BIRDS.  I’m talking about the big, ugly crows that are horrendously noisy.  So noisy at 4:45 in the morning, that their screeching pulled me from my slumber and my from my tent.  I am not a morning person.  Anger comes swiftly and vehemently when I’m annoyed at 4:45 a.m.  Searching for the biggest rock I could find (which isn’t saying much at Lake Pleasant) I took aim and hurled said rock at the pair of crows in the nearby tree.  Thanks to my days in softball, my aim is quite accurate and the birds left the area after the first throw.  The morning was quiet again.

Sadly, I was so mad that I threw the rock with all my might without warming up first.  Yes, you guessed it, I pulled or pushed or injured or tore some muscle or tendon in my right shoulder.  Although satisfied that the offending squawkers were gone, my arm hung limply at my side and I crawled back in my sleeping bag and tried not to cry. 

No, I didn’t go to the doctor.  That would have required a “I threw a rock at some birds” story that I was not proud enough to tell.  Each time I got a massage at the chiropractor’s office, I would ask the gal to go easy on my shoulder.  This was ongoing for eleven long months.  Pain in my shoulder stopped me from lying on my right side…. every single eye-opening night… for eleven months.

THEN…. a fly was in my kitchen.  I hate flies, almost as much as squawking birds, but not quite.  I got the bright yellow fly swatter and stealthily followed the fly’s movements around the kitchen.  Death was immanent.  Finally, it landed on the wall above the kitchen sink.  The fly’s time had come.  I jumped and swung the swatter with gusto and killed the fly!  Hooorrayyyy!  However, something popped in my right shoulder and once again, my arm hung limply at my side.  It was a bit different this time as the pain and limpness was accompanied by tingling that traveled to my fingertips.  Wow! 

Funny thing happened.  My shoulder stopped hurting after that.  Physio-Fly-Swatter-Therapy.  It works, people.