Hello Blog World!

Yes, I haven’t been around MSJ for a bit.  Here are the recent headlines of the summer life of the Crosby clan.

46 Year Old Housewife Drops 80 Pounds:  Wise choices for health over the last year have produced remarkable results for this average housewife, who is now above average in weight loss success. (Yes, that’s me, but didn’t that sound headliney?)

Water Shortage in Desert Leaves Dying Remains:  This simply means that Rick isn’t watering the backyard grass this summer and it’s all dead.  Why is that headline news, you ask?  Because the wiener dog likes to roll in the dead grass and then come in and roll on the used-to-be-clean carpet.  This is a new cleaning issue this summer that we have never faced before.  It is a constant source of time and energy expended on STUPID stuff. 2012 will go down in the Crosby History Book as the summer of the dead grass. (Hopefully not of the dead dog!)

Summer Movie Fun is Proving Successful:  Yes, I bought the summer fun pack of $7 movie tickets again.  So far, I haven’t seen any of the theatrical selections!  So it’s ALL fun for me!  This week is Mr. Popper’s Penguins.  If you have been an MSJ reader for several years, you will recall how we tortured our children with a sound recording of Mr Popper…. so I’m looking forward to finding out all the information we missed from the skipping CD… IF they followed the book.

Full Time Work is Stressful:   Hahahahaha!  This one makes me laugh.  Our 18-year-old, soon to be college-bound daughter, is working “full time”….. HARDLY!  I think in her first two weeks of “full time” she put in one, maybe two 8 hour days.  This is exhausting!  Never has she been asked to do unpleasant tasks for EIGHT straight hours!  Well, except for school and chores!  She has never taken so many naps.  She came home after a grueling six hours of scanning and filing files to exclaim, “I cannot imagine working eight hours a day, doing something you don’t like FOR FORTY YEARS!?!”  hahahah… real life, baby.  This is it!  See why we have tried to steer you to a career that suits your interests and talents????

Unpaid Worker Scores Big:  This is the story of my life.  I finally found a part-time opportunity that allows me to help others and make cash at the same time.  It is the exact antithesis of my daughter’s job.  In ten hours per week, I’m helping people lose weight and get healthy, get off their meds and live longer!  And they pay me!  It reminds me of when my husband started his initial job as a pilot and he couldn’t believe he got paid to fly a plane!  I handed my first check to my husband, who has been the primary bread earner in this household for 16 years, and he spat out in astonishment, “This is the most money you’ve made in …..   Y E A R S !”   haha!  God provides!

Lagging Teacher Delivers for Hopeful Students:  This simply means that I finally got my American History grades done and sent to my high school students whom I haven’t seen in 6 weeks!  Better late than never.  My child was the only who needed the grade for a transcript, so it’s all good.

Enjoy the Fourth of July, America’s birthday!  God bless America!  Land of the brave and FREE!  yah, baby.

First Time EVER!

(Image scraplifted from: http://kellishouse.blogspot.com/2009/07/handmade-card-tutorial_30.html )

Yes, it’s that time of year again…. Scrapping in the Pines, our bi-annual scrapbooking retreat for four days in the cool pine-covered mountains of Prescott, Arizona.  There are seven of us going….. but this time I’m packing GAMES!  Yes, you read that right… GAMES!  Yahtzee, Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, 13 and Carcasonne!  We’ve never played games in Prescott! And movies, but we always take movies!

AND… please make sure you’re seated for this announcement… I’m not scrapbooking at Scrapping in the Pines!  I know!  Unbelievable.  I am making cards this trip.  I’m always a bit envious of my sister’s beautiful handmade cards that arrive in our mailbox several times a year.  Mine are usually handmade by a little Asian woman and purchased in a big box at Costco.  But after my third box of that type…. I have LOTS of baby and sympathy cards… but I’m fresh out of birthday cards … AGAIN  Enough! 

I scooted into Barnes & Noble tonight and bought a card making magazine….it cost as much as buying five cards at Hallmark, but it will be worth it’s weight in gold when I’m done.  All of my scrapping patterned paper, ribbons, buttons, eyelets, lace, trim, glitter, flowers and such will be making the journey.  Along with blank cards and envelopes.  I also resurrected the stamps, ink, embossing glitter, heat gun, and the metal embossing template!  What a blast from the past!  WAIT!  Inspiration just struck at this very moment… and you’re here to witness it first hand…. I can MAKE the envelopes!  Oh, sweet mother of baby Jesus, that is a great idea.  My aviator husband has all kinds of maps that will be perfect.  YES!

And so, it will be the first time EVER that this retreat should REALLY be called “Relaxing, Gaming and Crafting in the Pines.”  But we’re not changing the name after 15 years!

Kung-Fu-ier

Not many kids’ movies make me laugh out loud.  But Kung Fu Panda did.  We have been awaiting the arrival of Kung Fu-ier for weeks.  Today is the day.  But we cannot go without Rick, as he makes the Kung Fu experience so much richer!  Last time, he laughed until he cried.  The big guy sat in the theater surrounded by children and wiped the tears from his eyes without shame.  Then all the kids laugh at him as well as the movie.  It’s priceless.  YES!  Tonight, the noodle dream is relived.

Yet Another Tribute to Mr. Thrifty

It’s Tuesday night.  $2 night at the cheap theater Silver Saver Cinema here in Phoenix.  Our youngest son doesn’t really have a tough task talking his father into accompanying him to the movies on Tuesday nights.  It’s becoming more regular that date night.  (I just realized that….. and that’s no good!)  Tonight was nothing out of the ordinary… Jack Black playing in Gulliver’s Travels.  They did invite me, but I simply could not bear to see a brilliant Jonathan Swift story blown to bits by Jack Black. That’s a big NO, THANK YOU!

So as Pop and his son are getting ready to leave, some thrift-mocking occurred, primarily showered on my dear husband by myself and my 17-year-old protégé  daughter.  I inquired if he was saving us money by taking the “IT’S SHOW TIME” large, refillable KFC-style popcorn buckets that he saves and stores in our closet. Seriously, I think some have been there for years.  Imagine the dust and bugs in them….. gross me out.  He laughed and said, “Not any more.”  WHAT?  Yes, he brought one the last time he and our youngest son did the $2 Tuesday deal.  He placed it up on the counter for his refill and the manager exclaimed, “So, you haven’t been here in over a year!”  Oh my word!  I’m so glad I wasn’t there.  I didn’t bother asking if they refilled it or not.  I thought those were refillable only on the same visit.  More-than-a-year later is stretching the same visit clause.  But even after the manager’s comment…… they are still in our closet.  Here, look:

Rick, if you read this blog, can you please answer a few questions for my readers?

1.  Did the manager refill the more-than-a-year-old bucket with popcorn?

2.  If he did not, why are they still in the closet?

3.  Were all the funny parts in Gulliver’s Travels in the preview?

Thanks, Hon. XOXOXO

Lions and Lambs

If March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb.  I know this is supposed to be concerning the weather, but I’m hoping it also applies to our family stress level.  It is our turn in the big Farris wheel of life for the operator to stick the ride on super-high and leave us flinging through the air without any control of life’s circumstances.  We can barely catch our breath and our hair is in our eyes.

I haven’t blogged much lately because we are busy coping.  In the past week there have been several disturbances in the force.  We’ve had an Auntie pass away, another Auntie get run over by a car, a nephew desperately crying out for help, a bank error that caused hundreds of dollars to disappear from my account that required an investigation, my hubby in a three-car accident that totalled his car and the vacuum died.  But the vacuum dying was so much less significant because of the week it happened in.  We almost didn’t notice. 

My four-day scrapbooking retreat had been planned for over six months… on the exact weekend that God knew I needed a break from mothering and family news.  After hearing about my husband’s fender-bender, one of my scrapping friends asked if I was still going away for the trip.  OF COURSE!  Usually when on scrapbooking weekends, I get massive amounts of pages and photos done.  Not this past weekend.  On Friday I did nothing.  Nothing.  Well, I did patronize some stores up in the sleepy mountain town and I took in at least three movies.  I read my Bible and I sat in my chair.  It was sublime.

As you can imagine, I look forward to March going out like a lamb.  Not the lamb that is lost and bleating loudly for its mother.  Not Little Bo Peep’s sheep either.  The fluffy white lamb curled up in blissful peace next to Jesus’ manger.  Please, oh please.

Where’s the Righteousness?

Philippians 2:1-2  If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

This is the verse that I took my encouragement from today…. being united with Christ.  It seems those around us have blurred the lines of righteousness when it comes to entertainment.  We had a no-brainer decision to make today about our son attending a birthday party where they were going to see a PG-13 flick….. it was a 12 year old’s party.  I did go look up the movie on www.pluggedinonline.com to read the review.  Some (read: FEW) PG-13 movies would be acceptable for a 12 year old to view if I have seen it first and there is no language/nudity/brutality/etc.  There aren’t many films that have made that cut.  This particular movie had a strong warning for sexual content, language and battles. 

I just don’t get the point of filling your mind with filth.  What in the world?  This film has the Lord’s name used in vain MORE than 10 times.  Last time I checked, that was one of the no-no’s in the Ten Commandments.  So, once again, my child is going to stay home while his buddies go movie watching.  He asked if Dad could see the movie first to check it out.  I asked him is Dad should go to a movie where the Lord’s name is used repeatedly as a swear word?  He agreed… no.  He was disappointed about not being with his friends, but I believe he understood.  We talked about surrounding ourselves with like-minded people who stand for righteousness.  I believe he got it, but it’s not easy.

Later the topic came up with our 15 year old daughter.  She asked, “Why aren’t there more people who think like you and Dad about movies?”  I really didn’t know what to say.  There are…. they live in communes and don’t have electricity.…   I guess my thinking is that if you are going to choose a book to live by…. then don’t skip the parts that you don’t like.  Or find another book. 

It reminded me of the story of the mom who baked some brownies but added a little bit of dog poop to the mix.  Her kids were asking to go see a movie that only had a little bit of bad stuff in it.  She offered them the brownies but shared that there was only a little bit of bad stuff in them.  :o)  Wise woman.

The whole situation made me feel sort of lonely in my convictions, but then I read about being encouraged by being united with Christ.  That is who we are to be measuring ourselves against and emulating.  I took great comfort in that and am feeling a little better.

Earth Day (well, sort of)

We finally got to the theater to see the movie Earth…. with my keys firmly in my hot little hand.  The movie was not what I expected, but the photography was amazing.  My four year old nephew was with his family, who was with us, and he made it quite entertaining, as most four year olds would.  His mother and I thought the chase scenes and shark-eating-seal scenes might be a bit to dramatic for him.  Not so.  We looked over at him as a cheetah caught a deer and his eyes were as big as saucers and he said under his breath, to no one in particular, “Awwwwwesooooome!”  So much for the timid little, soft-hearted four year old.

The boys said that they would rather see another movie.  Homeschool mom said, “This is school.  We can stay home and do more math, or go see Earth.”  They decided Earth was now viewer worthy.  A friend on facebook suggested X-men instead of Earth.  I explained that this was SCHOOL.  He suggested I call it Culinary Arts….  oh boy.

I’m looking forward to the flick UP!  It looks hilarious and Pixar always puts on a really good shew.

Do You Really Wanna Hurt Me?

October 31^st, 2005 went down in the family history books as the hallowed eve when I poisoned my husband. This is my first confession of the incident. Rick and I escorted our three children, the Hippy, the Hockey Goalie and Bibleman, along with our two overnight visitors, Darth Vader and the Medieval Princess, for a fun evening of games, candy and prizes at our church’s October Fest. By 9:30 p.m. my peaceful home was calling to me.

As we herded our flock toward the van, my husband decided it was the perfect time to announce that he and my brother had plans to go to a late show since he had movie passes that expired that night. I wasn’t impressed, to say the least. To his credit, Rick did help deposit all five kids in the van and sent me on my way. After asking for any and all miniature Almond Joy candy bars, I focused on remaining positive.

Any drill sergeant would have been proud of me that night: “All candy on the kitchen counter. Costumes off. Jammies on. Teeth brushed for five minutes.” With four kids finally in bed, I set Bibleman up on our bathroom counter to look at a bloody toe. Two weeks previously, he had crashed his bike, slammed his big toe and the nail fell off. The pediatrician had given me instructions to rinse it with a solution of 50/50 hydrogen peroxide and water. Conveniently, there was a clear plastic bottle in the bathroom with only three ounces of water, so I doubled it with hydrogen peroxide. The toe was washed, medicated, bandaged and as soon as Bibleman was tucked in, I fell into bed exhausted.

At 2:09 a.m. I was shaken awake by my husband’s hands and booming, panicky voice, “Linda, what was in my water bottle next to the sink?” Oh no! “Hydrogen peroxide,” I groggily answered. He grabbed the peroxide bottle and loudly read, “If ingested call the Poison Control Center immediately.” He shot back, “Where is the number for Poison Control?” Now, I am not super sympathetic when I am fully awake. I am on the verge of completely unconcerned when I am half asleep. My eyes still closed, I offered, “In the phone book under P,” and drifted back to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I glanced over in our bed to see my husband’s back facing me and the entire hydrogen peroxide nightmare resurfaced. His breathing was undetectable. Was he dead? I wondered… and gave him a little shove with my foot. Praise be to God, Rick groaned and pulled the covers up to his neck. Guilt tried to consume me, but a twinge of “serves him right” was just under the surface due to being sent home with five candy-laden children while he went movie viewing. I felt partially vindicated because my poisoning was not premeditated. Thankfully, Rick was fine.

Rick inquired of the children at the breakfast table, “Did your mother tell you she tried to poison me last night?” After a recap of the 2:09 a.m. fiasco the kids threw their heads back and belly laughed, completely shriveling Rick’s pity party to nothingness. I came so close to making it through my apology without grinning, “I’m sorry I almost poisoned you.” Next time Rick better think twice before crossing my inner mad scientist.