Posts Tagged ‘purgatory’

Laughing in the Midst of Purgatory, Part 2

August 31, 2016

Please read the previous post if you haven’t already.

The next day, after much laughter and hilarity and swearing on the phone, (I never say crappy out loud! I only spell it!) I realized that all my personal and family and business files are still on the email account to which I no longer have access. There is SO MUCH on there… medical info, log-ins for my different sites, copies of proposals, correspondence with publishers, disability info for our girl, all the info about changing the ESA law….. I NEED TO GET IT BACK!

My sister-in-law, Jennie, is a mastermind at computery affairs and let me in on the fact that everything that was ever on the internet is still out there in space and can be retrieved. IF YOU KNOW HOW! She then proved it to me by finding pages that I thought were lost for all eternity, saving me hours of brain power and typing time! It gave me hope.

Cox was contacted again. This time it was a nine minute hold time, but if my files can be retrieved it will be worth nine years of my time! Nice lady number two took my call. She asked me to verify my account with the phone number used to open the account. GREAT! I asked how many tries I get. She sort of chuckled and asked how many I need. I replied, “Three.” She obliged and try number three was the slam dunk. She shoots! She scores! The correct number was the house phone that has been shut off for five or six years. (Please remember that this account was only opened three years ago!) (Insert profuse eye roll.)

I explained that my account was shut down just last week, but I need access to the files. She searched her script …. and competently found section 127 where it read, “If the customer needs files from a closed account, send them to a tier two operator.” So off I went, transferring …  probably to India.

NO! It can’t be! Another person whose first language is English! It’s my lucky day! I should go buy a lottery ticket… except for we don’t gamble with the money the Lord has entrusted to us. Let’s move on. Nothing to see here, folks.

Rainbow-and-Pot-of-Gold

Once again, I lamented about my files in the inaccessible account. My newfound friend’s fingers were making a racket fiddling with her keyboard and I was put on “hopeful” hold numerous times. While she was digging for an answer, or my files, or playing Solitaire for all I knew, I decided to ask questions. Because that’s what homeschool moms do. We ask questions. ALL.DAY.LONG.

“Does Cox offer email accounts that aren’t attached to internet service?”

“Well, yes we do,” she claimed baffling me, “but only in certain markets. But you are in Phoenix and that market does have them still.” Well, glory be!

Through my mind went these random thoughts:

I don’t want to pay back $110 for my files! But I will.

What was that other birdbrain talking about… no emails without internet… GAH!

Do I even keep this account if I can get it back? They could close it again without telling me.

Is she simply acting like she’s trying to help me so I feel helped?

Eventually, the soft-spoken woman explained that this was beyond her capabilities and she would need to notify her supervisor who would call me back to answer my questions and find my files. Good. She asked for the best number to reach me. BAM!

Being an optimist, I believed her. It’s now been 24 hours with no return call. They probably called the dead house phone number, then sent a follow-up letter to Oklahoma.

Remembering more and more information that is stored in those missing files, my stomach began to roil in agitation. “Dear God, please let me get to my files,” was my last prayer uttered before heading upstairs to bed. Worn out and frustrated, I thought how could this get any worse?

Then out of nowhere, ZING! A blasted scorpion sunk its stinger in the side of my foot right by my little baby toe. SERIOUSLY!?! I’m not even joking.

People who don’t live in Arizona think a scorpion sting is the kiss of death. It’s not. Unless you weigh under 20 pounds. I don’t. I have been stung three or four times, so I quickly swallowed some ibuprofen, dabbed peppermint oil on the sting, and went to lie still in bed. You don’t want to pump the venom through your veins with activity. Today it is tender but I didn’t lose any sleep over the sting… or my files… thank the good Lord!

(Notice I refrained from mentioning that my husband owns and operates a pesticide business…. remind you of the cobbler whose children have no shoes? He does spray the house regularly, I simply find it ironic!)

 

 

 

Summer Lovin’ Had Me a Blast!

August 25, 2016

Count it all joy. That’s in the Bible… yep. So I’m counting it all joy…. my summer fun. If you think purgatory isn’t real, I’ve got news for you. Here are the last month’s trips through address change hell and debit card dumbness. (And you thought it was all over months ago!) NO WAY, JOSE!

At the bank, our personal bank of more than eight years whom I have contacted I cannot tell you how many times to straighten out our address, we went in to open the Colombian princess’ 13-year-old account. They asked me to verify my address. I got it wrong. (My favorite part of this is when they look at me like I’m dumb. I don’t even know where I live! I should probably be in a home for the bewildered.) I tried again with an Oklahoma address where we have never lived… yep. OHMYSTARS! So they “fixed” it for the umpteenth time. Right! Until next month when I go back in for some other such banking service!

me n john

(Here are two people. One lives in Arizona. One lives in Oklahoma. BIG difference!)

Next, I needed to renew the hosting for my website. They asked for the last four digits of the card that was used to open the account. I replied, “That was three or four debit cards ago. I have no idea.” Then they asked to verify my address. I just flat out lied and said I have two… one in Arizona (where we have lived for 11 years) and one in Oklahoma (where we have never and will never live). I have both memorized. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this until now! It worked. Feeling all proud of myself…. for lying. See what this has come to?

Tonight I called an automated system to pay a bill. It is a bill that was on auto pay but must have missed the last new debit card change (after someone went all wild with my card on nike.com and zoolily.com) because it is four months overdue. I tried to use the automated system because it was after hours. The first question was to verify my street address… 2524… nope. We are at 2416… and the Oklahoma address is 500. So I tried to gain access with the last four digits of our social security numbers. Both were turned down, but I know those were right! Then they asked to verify the address again. I got it wrong again. I vaguely remembered that 2524 was our street address in a short term rental in between our homes 11 years ago. So I hung up and called back. I thought I was being all tricky, but it didn’t work. Dangitallanyhow.

Tomorrow I will call when I can go over all this again and again with a live person because I don’t have anything better to do with my time. And I like talking to people who don’t really believe what I’m telling them. It makes me miss the days of slamming down the phone receiver. Sigh.

Here’s my free advice: when your child gets married and moves away, volunteer to fill out the address change card FOR THEM! Don’t let them make the mistake on your watch of checking the “whole family” box on the pink form. It is painful and goes on forever and ever. Learn from our mistake, people!

Summer lovin’ had me a blast!

It Ain’t Over til It’s Over

March 3, 2016

change of address

And I have NO IDEA when that will be! Land sakes alive! Yes, Crosbys are still stuck in address change purgatory. Yes, it’s been going on for over eight blinkin’ months. This week’s participants who contacted us about our “move” to Oklahoma were Costco, Charles Schwab and Arizona Elections.

While picking up a few pictures that I had printed at Costco, the cashier instructed me to head on over to the membership counter to verify my address. I sighed and rolled my eyes and said, “Not again!” She reassured me that it was a common practice to occasionally verify addresses. I knew differently.

At the counter the lady scanned my membership card and then read my new address in Oklahoma out loud for me. “No, that is not my address. I have not moved in over ten years.” She asked if I have ever lived in Oklahoma. “No.” I mean, really, why explain the whole my-daughter-was-married-and-moved-to-Oklahoma-last-June-and-put-in-an-address-change-and-accidentally-checked-the-whole-family-box? Customer service reps don’t care. At all. I know from experience. She ended with “That’s weird!” I responded with “Yeah! Totally weird!”

Next, an email came that stated our account with Charles Schwab was frozen because mail had been returned. With my husband, Rick, out of town, I tried to take care of it without him having to spend time on this, but alas, my name is not on that account. Whew. I forwarded the 800 number to Rick. BAM! Outta my hands.

Yesterday, three orange “second notice” cards came from Arizona Elections informing Linda Ann, Rickey Allen and Austin Rick that we need to re-register to vote because of our address change. Thankfully that was just one phone call and it is fixed. I hope. I let the nice lady know that we received orange cards but we have lived and are still living in the same house that we have been voting from for ten years. She believed me and didn’t ask questions. Thank you, nice elections lady! I vote for her!

If I can give you any advice today, dear reader, it is BE VERY CAREFUL TO SELECT THE APPROPRIATE BOX ON THE ADDRESS CHANGE CARD AT THE POST OFFICE. Instruct your children about this. Write it on your gates and the doorposts of your house. Tell your neighbors. Include this information in your Christmas letter. Make bumper stickers. Get the word out. Seriously, it’s THAT important!

(On the flip side, if you are trying to think of a devious plot for your most evil enemy for April Fool’s Day…. submit an address change for them… and check the “whole family” box. Hopefully they write a blog and you can read about your sinister activity for months! heh heh heh)

Debit Card Conundrum, Part III

November 25, 2015

Please read the two previous blogs for backstory.

As Nora and I neared the location of our son’s band competition, I remembered that at competitions hot dogs were $8 and drinks were $4 and chips were $3 and candy bars were $2. Buying overpriced concessions is a pet peeve of mine. So I pulled into Sonic and bought my darling a kid’s meal and paid with a credit card. GAH! I hate that! But the whole meal plus the toy was cheaper than half a hot dog!

My husband was about ten minutes behind our ETA and the plan was to meet him at the gate. Little did I know at that time how much “at the gate” we would be.

After waiting in line to buy our $10 each tickets to listen to our son blow on his trombone for exactly 12 minutes, I discovered to my horror that they only accepted cash. What type of sketchy band competition only takes cash? I was still in debit card purgatory, so I planned on paying with the credit card, my newly useful tool.

Digging through my purse only produced $3 cash, counting coinage. Rick walked up at that point and I asked him how much cash he was carrying…. $12. Great. So one of us could go in for the 12 minute performance… or we could all stand in a unified line of solidarity at the chain link fence, after driving for an hour and eating cheap junk food, and watch the band from the end zone.

As we stood there with our fingers clinging to the fence looking like prisoners who want out (or in!), Nora suggested, “Well, since we saved $30 right now, can we go to the movies?” Always the opportunist!

The Peanuts movie was quite good, btw.