Dr. Doolittle, I Think Not

Never have I been accused of being an animal lover.  We had a few pets during my childhood in suburbia Northern California, but never a dog and only once for a short time, a cat.  The kitty caused my brother’s eyes to swell shut, so she didn’t stay long at all.  But I did have the joy of picking out Meow Mix back in the day when the Meow Mix song was popular, hence making me popular. I was nine, it didn’t take much.

Fast forward to  my ten-year-old daughter praying every night that God would change her mother’s heart (ME!) so that she could get a dog.  I about coughed up a lung the first time I witnessed her heartfelt petition to the God of the universe.  Anyway, the two-year vigil ended with God changing my heart… and for the past 9.5 years we have had Trixie, the Rat Terrier burrowing into our hearts and lives.

Foolishly I read Dr. Doolittle to my children years ago.  Unmistakably, that was a cockamamie move on my part. Yes, we did do a stint with younger boys who NEEDED tadpoles, then frogs of course, lizards, mice, a hamster named Teddy, chickens, fish, turtles, and a hermit crab named Elvis.  Truly I felt that I did my time.  Of course there were requests for a horse.  Thankfully we live in an HOA that doesn’t allow for horses.

Then Christmas 2011 did me in.  It was December 23rd at 10:15 p.m. and my husband and I were sitting on the blue couch when my cell phone notified me of the arrival of a message.  Who would be texting me that late?  Of course it was a friend who had a friend who had a baby wiener dog FREE for Christmas.  Good grief.  We were sitting ducks.  The next day I called another friend who got a baby wiener dog for Christmas the previous year and DIDN’T keep it!  I gave her all my reasons for not taking the free dog, and she solved each dilemma as it arose…. we would need a crate.  She had one.  We would need a doggy door.  She had one.  And her reason for returning the puppy was because she was never home to train it….. she pointed out that we are ALWAYS home.  We homeschool.  We don’t leave the premises unless it is for church or a library trip.  So we got sucked into Ringo the wiener dog who has been snuggling with us for over a year now.

I still cannot believe I have two dogs.  Linda Ann Crosby… NOT a dog person, has two dogs, and probably will have two dogs for another five to seven years.  Unbelievable!  I can hardly believe I am writing a blog about dogs.  I am not a dog person.  Didn’t I already say that?

So the moral of the story is DON’T READ DR. DOOLITTLE to your kids if you truly want to do little.  BAM!

This Means WAR!

What you are looking at here are the remains of my green bean plants thanks to a naughty little ground squirrel who breathed his last naughty breath yesterday.  Yes, those are four-inch tall green bean sticks.  I was about to rip them all out, then I noticed some are sprouting new leaves.  Not sure what to do quite yet since there are fifty bazillion ground squirrels that live in the alley next to our house.  I did find the hole next to the house where they were getting in and they will no longer have easy access.  AND I bought some cucumber plants to replace the peas and beans.  It’s simply too hot here in the Sonoran Desert for peas past April.  We grew them last Fall with great success.  What was I thinking planting them in March??

Anyway, yesterday I was out watering the garden when I heard scurrying on the far side of the yard.  Our entire backyard is surrounded with a six-foot high block wall fence.  Yes, it’s kind of prison-ish, but it’s what they do here in Phoenix.  I dropped the hose and ran for the back door to get our Rat Terrier, Trixie, to come and earn her keep.  Rat Terriers are bred for killing rats…. and all related rodents, I was hoping!  That poor dog is getting old!  The ground squirrel was frozen in place next to my back flower bed, but Trixie couldn’t see it.  I threw her toys over there… I threw rocks, hoping the little ball of fur would move and get her attention.  FINALLY she sniffed around and when she got within six inches of the demon of destruction, it jumped into the flower bed and the chase was on.  Yes, several of my flowers were trampled, but I did not care!  Trixie caught it, shook it mercilessly and then left it lying on its back… dead.  I thought about laying the carcass on the outside of the block wall to warn all the other fifty bazillion relatives that doom was pending if they crossed the dead body.  But I just chucked it over the wall toward the alley.

A few months back I read the book Rabbit Hill to my children.  The tale is written from the viewpoint of the rabbits.  It had been a long lean year with no people living in the house where they burrowed near.  Finally people moved in and planted a huge garden.  The rabbits, mice, badgers, squirrels, etc. were wondering what sort of people they would be: trap-setting, pesticide people, or generous, nature-loving people.  They ended up being the latter, and at the time of the reading, I was thinking that I was a generous, nature-loving people.  Not true, as yesterday’s victory in the garden proved.

My 100th Post at My Sister’s Jar

Lake Tahoe

Being the blogster that I am now, following blog etiquette, here are my 100 Things You Never Needed to Know About Me. (I tried to come up with information that would even be new to those nearest and dearest to me.)

1.  I have no Mexican dental work in my mouth. (Yeah!  We made it home safely and Rick is thrilled with his Mexican crown.)

2.  Even though I took two years of Spanish, my Spanish is extremely limited.

3.  I can count to 10 in five languages. (completely useless)

4.  I currently own 3 Spanish language learning systems… and use one regularly.

5.  I read Only When I Laugh in the past two days and was aghast when I discovered my grandfather’s name and story about him included.

6.  I consider reading therapeutic.

7.  I can sing the theme songs for the Brady Bunch, Beverly Hillbillies, and Gilligan’s Island.

8.  I don’t watch TV at home at all.  (We don’t even have it hooked up.)

9.  I loathe dusting.

10.  I abhor cleaning horizontal blinds…. which cover every window in the house.

11.  Watercolor painting is of high interest and relaxation to me.

12.  I’ve never had a manicure.

13.  I consider pedicures an Arizona necessity to avoid cracked heals.

14.  I have traveled to England.

15.  I have traveled to India…. curry lamb or curry chicken.

16.  I spent a summer in Kathmandu, Nepal… cooking for a missions team of 36.

17.  My dream vacation is to cruise the Mediterranean with extended stays in Greece.

18.  I have a list of 100 things I would like to do in my life.

19.  On my list of 100 things I would like to do in my life, only 68 are filled in.

20.  My eye color is green with gold polk-a-dots… but that doesn’t fit in the little space on my driver’s license.

21.  I have a birth mark on my left upper arm that looks like upside down bunny foo foo.

22.  Miss Potter is my favorite movie of all time. 

23.  I have watched Miss Potter at least 15 times.

24  I bought Miss Potter at Walmart the day it came out on DVD, having never seen it before.

25.  I have only owned Miss Potter for only 11 months.

26.  I have a pair of little white rhinestone-studded leather sandals on my computer desk for Zaza.

27.  I have four children, but Zaza is not home yet.  She’s waiting for us in Colombia, so she can be adopted.

28.  I met my husband on the first day of Orientation Week at Trinity Western University in BC.

29.  I was not real impressed when I met my future husband on the first day of O Week at TWU.

30.  I attended Rick’s High School Graduation with him.  (In Alberta they don’t have the ceremony until the results are back from their provincial exams…. in Sept.)

31.  I have over 100 guppies… but not for long.  VBS is next week when I give almost all of them away.

32.  I have two chickens named Olivia and either TJ or Sidney.

33.  I used to have three chickens, but we had two Rhode Island Reds and we don’t know which one died.

34.  I am not really a dog person.

35.  I have a Rat Terrier named Trixie.

36.  I am definitely NOT a cat person.

37.  I am drawn to royal blue.

38.  The colors of the sea are my favorites.

39.  When not loving blues and greens, I love hot pink.

40.  I have an Elvis bathroom in my home.

41.  I no longer have Elvis pictures that keep showing up on the walls in my bedroom.

42.  I love my husband.

43.  My husband loves me and Elvis.

44.  I painted the walls and ceiling in the Elvis bathroom red.

45.  I have a bathroom that looks like it belongs in either Graceland or a brothel.

46.  I have never been to Graceland, but I have been to Mississippi. 

47.  I lived in the lower mainland of BC for four years and never went to Vancouver Island.  (We were starving college students.)

48.  I have five male cousins.  That’s it.

49.  I grew up in West Coast suburbia in an Anglo Saxon, conservative Christian, Regan-loving-Republican, wooden spoon-spanking, fun loving home with a dad, mom, sister and brother.

50.  My teenage life of crime and mayhem consists of TPing and cruising the El Camino Real.

51.  I got a ticket for parking in a handicap spot.  $50 in 1984!

52.  I used to model for White Stag in Jantzen Beach, Oregon…. when I was five.

53.  I bought my very own purple Schwinn bicycle with a glittery purple banana seat with my paychecks from modeling.

54.  I take any opportunity to go fishing.

55.  I was flown into a fishing lodge at Margaret Lake, Alberta and fished with the chiefs of the surrounding Native reserves.

56.  I caught 6 or 7 large pike at Margaret Lake.

57.  I was the only one who caught any fish when I fished with the Indian Chiefs.

58.  My husband gave away all but one of my fish that I caught at Margaret Lake.

59.  I was left sitting on a gas drum at a dirt airstrip on a remote Native Reserve, Fox Lake, one summer evening.

60.  My husband tells me that he will never again leave me sitting alone on a gas drum on any remote Indian reserve.

61.  I have been to a tree stand designed to attract bear.

62.  I don’t appreciate tree stands.

63.  I have been a Christian for 37 years.

64.  I accepted Jesus as my savior by my bedside with my mom.

65.  I believe all US teenagers would benefit from going on a missions trip to a third world country.

66. I can usually sing a song about any word that my kids come up with.

67.  I have straight hair that is the envy of the 14 year old girls at our church who use straighteners daily.

68.  I teach my kids at home… we plan to homeschool through college.  (heh heh heh).

69.  I LOVE summer break.

70.  I had plastic surgery on my upper lip to repair a scar.

71.  I never had braces.

72.  My mouth is full of porcelain crowns… made in the USA.

73.  I have eaten chocolate covered ants… crunchy and chocolatey all in one.

74.  I have eaten ox tail soup… it was good if I kept my eyes closed.

75.  I could never be on survivor. 

76.  I’m wimpy.  Strange things make me gag… like stinky shoes, or a hair in the sink while I’m brushing my teeth.

77.  Believe it or not, I ran faster than my kids in a timed race at a rest stop three years ago (and won $5) I feel a rematch coming on.

78.  I don’t bet.

79.  I will never have a tattoo, or dreadlocks or piercings other than ONE hole in each ear.

80. I will never go bungy jumping, or sky diving, or cliff diving.  Remember, I’m wimpy.

81.  I’m not a thrill seeker, unless you include finding a sweet antique on sale from an un-educated garage sale giver.

82.  I collect Precious Moments nativity pieces.

83.  I am addicted to Diet Pepsi.  A half filled chilled can sits in front of me.

84.  I’m eyeing the corner of the backyard for a raised bed vegetable garden.

85.  I’m completely overwhelmed by the thought of digging and running the plumbing to the corner of the backyard for the raised bed vegetable garden.

86.  Sunflowers make me happy.

87.  I use my dictionary and thesaurus regularly.

88.  I am a card-carrying Coupon $ense gal who cut her grocery bill by 50% in 4 months.  Wooo Hooo.

89.  I taught Special Education, which prepared me for marriage and mothering in many ways.

90.  I’m the mother of the fastest 10 year old hockey skater in the nation.  And proud of it.

91.  I’m sad that my daughter doesn’t wear ruffles and lace anymore.

92.  I’m excited to bring Zaza home and introduce her to ruffles and lace.

93.  I’m still looking for the perfect bedding for Zaza’s yellow room and purple bed.

94.  I absolutely LOVE going to Lake Tahoe every summer.  It’s the BEST!  47 days until we go to Tahoe.

95.  I think God did a great job with the creation deal… lakes, trees, birds, flowers, pinecones, especially flowers, rivers…

96.  Scrapbooking is my game.  Tonight is scrap night at Darla’s house.  I’m there.

97.  I have my original wedding band from 21 years ago.

98.  I have my original husband from 21 years ago.  While in Mexico this week, a street vendor asked me what I was looking for.  I said, “My husband.”  He said, “Jus’ get a new one.”  No way.  21 years of training!  Hello!!!!

99.  I wish I lived somewhere that was always between 70 and 85 degrees, with a stream close by, a large English garden, a green house, vegetable garden and towering trees surrounding my Victorian home in the country.

100.  Roadtrips make my travel-loving heart pound in glory.

www.LindaCrosby.com