Yes, it’s true. I am nauseous. (Get it, Nacho fans???)
My 14-year-old son found red jeans on a clearance rack and came home and asked if we could get them for him. (You didn’t have $5 in your wallet??) “They fit really good! And the fabric is so soft!” (NEVER thought I’d hear those words from him!) “And they are only $5!” (There’s a logical reason why RED pants are only $5, son.)
Mostly out of curiosity, I took the lad to back to the store with the glowing clearance rack. He bee-lined right to the R E D pants and pronounced, “See! Here they are!” (Like I couldn’t see the ONLY pair of cherry R E D pants on the rack..) I inquired, “You’re sure you’re OK with red pants?” Rolling eyes and head cocked to the side, “YES!” So I did what any son-loving-mother would do. I took the pants from the rack and held the waist in one hand and the bottom of the legs in the other…….. and held them above my head so the entire store could see the R E D pants…. and asked my son again, “Are you sure you’re OK with R E D pants.” He ran away from the crazy woman holding the red pants above her head in the middle of the men’s department. I didn’t think he was OK with it!
Yet, he took them to the dressing room and tried them on. Oh, they were so bright. My handy-dandy cell phone in hand, I took a picture of my 14-year-old son in R E D pants and sent it to his father….. Moments later my phone rang. “Wow!” was all my husband said. I asked, “Is your son allowed to wear R E D pants?” He knowingly replied, “Maybe it would be good for him to be made fun of for once.” Such fatherly wisdom: Let the peers say what the parents can’t. So I bought the $5 R E D pants.
I was envisioning Bob the Tomato, Superman and Ronald McDonald comments flung at my strong and brave son. Maybe this would be good for him? He’s been homeschooled his whole life and hasn’t had to face bullies (except me) or name calling (except normal sibling stuff.)
Last night he bravely wore his R E D pants to church. But, get this….. he usually matches a pair of Van tennis shoes with whatever he is wearing. BUT he didn’t have red! And turquoise was not going to make the cut. So he borrowed his SISTER’S black Converse and proudly went to the junior high service.
On our drive home I questioned, “So, did anyone say anything about your pants?” “Yeah, quite a few people said they liked ’em.”
Shoot. No tomato jokes! At least that he could hear!
“Hi, my name is Linda and I am the mother who lets her teenage son wear red pants.” (There MUST be a therapy group for this!)