Ten-Year-Old Money Management

“Mom, my size eight underwear is too tight.  Can we please get me some more?”  Of course this was only uttered in complete isolation from her brothers.  Of course.  She is mortified if I say the word “bra” out loud whether we are alone or not.  It makes me want to work “bra” into every conversation.  Which I am capable of doing, but I’m trying to be the nice mom (in a white bra.)

So off to ROSS we went.  Dress for less.  That’s my idea of a good time.  And Mr. Wallet’s too.  Straight to the back of the store to the girls department we hightailed and bee-lined to the clearance section.  There is ALWAYS underwear on clearance, which I don’t really understand because they don’t go out of season. Ever.  (Well, except for a season in my teenage son’s life when he wore bathing suits for three months…. but I digress.)

BINGO!  Five multi packs to choose from.  All the right size.  All were five pair for $3.  All were cute colors.  All were bikini (which is apparently highly importante for the Colombiana!)  (When she has her first love in college, and he finds this blog, she’s gonna kill me… but that is so far off, I shall continue.)  I wanted to yell, “Sweet Jesus! We scored in the clearance section, folks!” but I did not, only because I noticed something was amiss on my daughter’s face.  She was not as exhilarated as I was with the undies find.  After questioning her dislike for my super saver bargain, she explained that the sudsy, mini yellow Chihuahua in the bathtub pictured on the first pair of panties in the multi pack was no bueno! I countered with an explanation that she could have five pair for $3 and wear the Chihuahua or she could stay snug in her size 8s.  The little doggie grew on her, as I knew he would.  Plus out of the five pair only ONE had the doggie!  The rest were boring… albeit in cute colors.

She was not done. Oh no. The bubbly Chihuahua was not going down without a fight. Turning to the non-sale section, she pointed to some cute sets of pink undies with turquoise lace gracing the top. Seriously, the ones she picked looked like they were strays from the racy lingerie section of the ladies department.  Why do they even make little girls underwear resemble Victoria’s Secret garb? Pointing out the $6 price tag for TWO pair, I asked her how many doggie panties we could buy for six dollars.  She thought for a moment and answered correctly, mumbling defeat, “ten.”

I explained that it is not a wise use of our money to buy two pair of fancy duds when ten serviceable ones would do.  I suggested that if she really wanted the lacy ones, she could use her own hard-earned money. (Insert eye roll here.) Utterly ridiculous! She would not pay $6 for two pair, even though she wanted me to. No way! She even made a little snorting noise in disgust.

And the underwear lesson went down in the history book as a frugal find but a fashion failure. Egads… a bathing Chihuahua… can you even imagine?!? Disgraceful!

 

A Chicken in ROSS

After reading my sister-in-law and her sister’s blog, informalmatriarchs.com, I was reminded of a time when there was a chicken in ROSS.  You know the store…. brand names for less.  Yes, a CHICKEN!  I was in the store solo searching for a cool t-shirt for a 16-year-old young man.  (I guess they aren’t really a boy anymore at 16…)  I searched diligently… seriously diligently for about 20 minutes and finally decided on a cool gray T with a large silver cross on the front and scrolly designs all around it.  It was really cool.  Seriously cool.  Satisfied, I hung it on the handle of my cart and went to have a looksie in the women’s department.  It has escaped my memory what I was looking for over there, but I obviously found something worth trying on, because I know I ended up in the fitting rooms.  Upon my exit from the fitting rooms, the ultimately cool gray t-shirt with the silver cross and the scrolly designs was M.I.A.   Some deranged soul took it from my cart handle whilst it was unattended.  I inquired of the fitting room attendant, but she was no help at all. 

Now in my humble ROSS shopper opinion, this was breaking the ROSS code of ethics… stealing items from a cart that is obviously parked in front of the dressing room… belonging to someone else.  I was more than miffed.  I retraced my steps to the men’s t-shirt rack to see if it happened, by some strange coincidence, to reappear.  I knew it was the ONLY one like it because I had previously looked at every single t-shirt on that aisle.  To my dismay, it was not there.  THEN…. I happened to notice a 20-something guy and his girlfriend in the next row…. and he HAD MY SHIRT IN HIS HAND!  It was HIM!  He was a thief!  Someone call security!  There’s a robber in the men’s department by the cool t-shirt rack.

I’m usually a woman who speaks my mind with the greatest of ease, but for some strange passive-aggressive reason, I did not.  Believe me, many lines went through my steaming mind of appropriate and non-appropriate things that I could say to him and his thief-loving girlfriend.  But for some unknown reason I chickened out.  I let him get away with ROSS robbery.  I picked another shirt and went home… still steaming mad.  Why did I chicken out?  I’m not sure.  Mr. Thief’s girlfriend looked like she could probably take me, that may have been part of it.  But still.  It was not right….. but sometimes it’s OK to let people be wrong…. to not get beat up. Right?