I’m the FOOL yet again

 

In case you’re new here at MSJ, my family is world-renown for the rubber band on the kitchen sprayer on April Fool’s Day.  I got blasted again this morning…. you’d think I’d have learned by now.  Hardy har har!  I guess I’m a slow learner.  The boys laughed hysterically… one even rolled on the floor holding his belly.  THEN they asked me to make them a special breakfast of egg muffins!  The nerve.  Being the nice mom, not the revengeful mom, I made the egg muffins.  But when I set them on the kitchen table I mumbled, “I sure hope there’s no plastic pieces in these.”  They quickly dissected the breakfast bounty before biting.

Next, one son uses the bathroom near the kitchen.  He returns to the kitchen table, but both boys are smiling like the Cheshire cat.  A quick perusal of the commode revealed a ketchup packet folded in half under the toilet seat, awaiting a victim’s hiney.  Hardy har har.  I threw it away.  An hour later there was a Taco Bell packet folded in its place.  Hardy har har, again.

At that point, I explained that the fool would be cleaning up any mess that fool cleverly caused.

Then Rick called me from work and asked if I remembered a job he told me about in Michigan.  This was a premeditated April Fools joke in the making commencing over three weeks ago.  He talked of the position, pay, home prices, etc. etc.  I rolled my eyes at the thought of Michigan.  No offense to the fine people of Michigan.  And I know they’re fine…. I’ve met plenty of them down here in Arizona in the winter months.  He proceeded to tell me that they did a phone interview and he got the job.  Again, I said “Hardy har har!  I know it’s April Fool’s Day!”  He was a bit surprised at my sharpness just after nine in the morning.  I told him I was wearing a wet bra from the kitchen sprayer to help me remember what day it was.

I hope your day was dry and taco-sauce-on-your-bum-free!

Yo Quiero Taco Bell!

Seriously, Rick and I should have bought stock in Taco Bell back in the day.  We went there on Sunday… because it was FAST… it was on the way to the Olympic gold hockey game…. and it was the cheap price, of course.  I’m married to Mr. Wallet after all.  As we approached the little talking box, I already tallied the tacos, burritos with no onions and the cheesy fiesta potatoes for Rick to order, so I handed the list to him.  The ordering was painless.  The delivery was painful. 

Being wise to the ways of Taco Bell under-paid-I’m-sure employees, I ALWAYS know the number count of how many items we ordered.  This time was no different…. 17.  (We had an extra kid with us, ok!) The bags were handed over and whaddya know… I only counted 16 carefully wrapped bundles of pseudo Mexican goodness.  I recounted.  Nada.  So Rick asked, “What’s missing?”  At that point I acted all-knowing because frankly, I wasn’t going to get out my tally list and mark off each taco, onionless burrito and cheesy fiesta potato.  I replied, “A bean burrito is missing,” because as heartless as it may seem, I didn’t really care what was missing and I knew whoever was missing something would eat a bean burrito with no onions if he or she was truly hungry enough. Brutal, I know.

As the window technician was delivering the counting error to the cooks, I handed the “cheesy fiesta potatoes” to Larisa, who opened the lid to find beans and cheese.  WRONG AGAIN, AMIGO!  Rick handed it back to the drive-through wizard and asked for the potatoes. 

We eventually got 17 items.  I still don’t know if they were the 17 that we ordered…. and it was NOT fast food.  I’m sure the people in the car behind us started chewing their nails due to hunger pangs.

This whole Mexican food extravaganza reminded me a time in Portland, Oregon when Rick and I were in a large van with about 12 people.  Call us stupid, but we went to the drive through at Taco Bell.  We ordered one by one and when all was paid for and received, I think only about eight people actually received what they ordered.  But we all ate something with meat and cheese and tortillas, so it was all good.  I wondered why we even ordered individually.  We could have just said “Send out 24 items.  We’ll pay $25,”  and we would have saved the ordering time.

You think we would have caught on by now, but no!

?#3 from My Sister’s Jar – Grateful List

List 10 things you are grateful for.  Write the first 10 that come to mind.

1.  My crock pot.  I got it for Christmas probably 15 years ago from Dad and Mom Crosby – but I have gone through use/non-use phases.  I’m in a use phase currently.  Dinners done by 9 a.m. and the house smells scrumptious.

2.  Air-conditioning.  Hello?  We live in the desert… in Phoenix… the only place hotter is hell.  The inventor of a/c has a statue in the capital building.  Right on!

3.  Elastic.  Think where we would be without it!?!  Everything we wear “under” includes it.  It has magical qualities… like making a size 24 body into an 18.

4.  Taco Bell.  Where else can you get all of your daily caloric needs met in one meal for only $3.69?  It’s quick… it’s cheap… they have diet Pepsi.. and it’s Mexican.  Aaaahhhhh.  (Dined there yesterday.)

5.  Books…. really good books that take me away from the here and now… to the 1850s in a covered wagon with 1/2 naked Indians visiting… baking biscuits over the campfire… sharing them with the Indians.

6. Sales Racks.  There is something satisfyingly triumphant about buying $82 pants for $12.27.  It’s almost like you cheated the big guys somehow…. sweet victory!

7.  Rick Coming Home Every Night.  I look forward to his arrival every day… starting at about 9:30 a.m.  I look to the clock every other hour ’til his keys plop on the entry table.

8.  Laughter.  It truly does make you feel good.  I love laughing and making others enjoy a belly laugh.  Jill is really good at those.

9.  This Journal w/52 prompts. I haven’t written freely in years.  No spell check.  No grammar boo-boos.  Just me and the pen and pages waiting for an adventure.

10. Flowers.  I simply love them.  Vibrant colors.  Soothing aromas.  I love fresh-cut flowers on my kitchen table.  It just sings “a Martha Stewart lives here”….  (which is a good thing.)