Posts Tagged ‘teenagers’

Training Your Kids NEVER Ends!

March 6, 2017

My 18-year-old son, Keeve, did not get my storytelling-gene… at all. I feel I have not trained him in good faith as his mother in this area. #momfail2277  I offer this story as evidence and my solemn vow to work with him on his retelling abilities. Pinky swear.

Crosby_Keeve_senior.jpg(Photo credit: Monica Hortiales, Youth Pastor and fine storyteller)

Our tale begins with some backstory: it was a Wednesday night. Keeve left for church at 4:45. Nora and I left at 6:00. Rick was supposed to leave at 6:20. Austin went straight from work to church.

Upon arrival at church the sweet greeter lady hugs my neck and relays, “Your son handled that like a trooper!” I smiled. I had no idea what she was talking about… nor which son she was referring to.

Nothing else was mentioned until we were getting in the van to drive home. My husband reached down between the front seats and grabbed a piece of paper and scotch tape, saying, “I’ll be right back.” I still didn’t know what was going on… OR if this had anything to do with the other stuff I didn’t know was going on.

Upon Keeve’s arrival home that night, his dad asks him, “So, what happened?” Here is Keeve’s entire story, “I got pulled over. The license plate on the car was stolen.” THE END. I inquired a bit further and discovered the paper and scotch tape were for the temporary plate that Rick printed off at home and brought to the church.

FOUR DAYS LATER…. we had our youth pastor over for lunch and got the whole truth. She was in the church, looking out the windows when Keeve pulled in, followed by, not one, but four police cars. Keeve was told to stay in the car as one cop approached his side of the vehicle. Then SEVEN MORE armed officers of the law got out of their vehicles and surrounded my innocent baby boy in his car…. in front of the church! Yeah, he forgot to mention backup.

The officer at the driver’s window asked if Keeve knew why he was being pulled over. NO! He proceeded to explain that the license plate on the car was a stolen plate and he needed to see Keeve’s license and registration. Another officer was removing the hot plate as they spoke. The remaining officers were casing the joint, because our church is in an industrial strip-mall of sorts…. perfect cover for a chop-shop to steal cars and paint them and switch out license plates and deter the law.

At this point, the youth pastor came out of the church and was waving her cell phone, mouthing to Keeve, Do you need me to do anything? Keeve simply smiled his shy smile and shook his head back and forth.

Next the kind officer asked Keeve, “What is this place?” My Keeve… hahaha… “It’s my church!” More inquiries, “Why are you at church at 5:00 in the evening on a Wednesday?” My son explained, “I’m in the worship band and we have practice right now.”

Eventually they let him get out of the car, and questioned Keeve about the damage on the driver’s side door handle. He explained the vandalism that had taken place in October when someone tried to break in. Made me think we should possibly visit a chop-shop???

“Do not move this vehicle until you get a 3-day temporary license plate,” the cop instructed Keeve. Hence, the call home to Dad, that I didn’t know about, and the printing of the temporary plate, and my husband’s late arrival at church.

Who knew thugs steal license plates? Now we know. And storytelling lessons will commence with embellished details as a side option.

 

Water Filter Infomercial

February 15, 2017

You either HAVE a water filter or you ARE a water filter.

We live in Phoenix, AZ, which is in the Sonoran Desert. Our sunshine state is not know for the quality of our tap water. I’ve heard that Arizona has three years worth of water stored in underground aquifers, for which I am thankful, even though it tastes horrible. So we won’t die of thirst any time soon. I think I could probably crawl out of Arizona to a neighboring state within three years if I had to.

Remember I just ordered a new water filter for the fridge that had the ice maker, the door magnets and the water dispenser fixed? Well, come to find out, my beloved Whirlpool side-by-side refrigerator DID NOT HAVE A FILTER! What? I am semi-grossed out by this news.

After pulling out the fridge to inspect the backside, I discovered lots of broken glass under there. The glass used to be the lid to my most-used and well-loved soup pot. Bummer, dude. It almost looked like someone swept it there on purpose…. but I digress.

I wish I had action photos for you… but no.

Today I am feeling like a boss. With my new filter in hand, along with several attachments and no instructions, I turned to trusty youtube and learned how to splice the water line and install the water filter ALL BY MINESELF. (That’s what our eldest used to say twenty-two years ago.) After the second try, it doesn’t even leak! Feeling like a homeschooler.

My assistants, (okay, I had a little help) my two “willing” teenagers, tested the water, wrapped white sealant tape, emptied the pail and moved the fridge back in its hole. Thank you, my children. We will have yummy water and delicious ice cubes for dinner!

Need plumbing or large appliance assistance? 1-800-LindaIsABoss. BAM!

Teenage Boys are Strange Creatures

June 9, 2012

Just when I think I have my teenage boys pegged for life… they turn over a new and refreshing leaf that does this mama’s heart good.  It’s happening in repeating stages right now.  I’m not sure why, but I’m not voicing any of these questions aloud, so as not to disturb the force.

It all started about a month ago.  Holding my coupon envelope while pushing my grocery cart through Safeway, my cell phone rang. It was my 15-year-old son.  He was calling to inquire about the correct procedure for washing his comforter.  Glory be!  I explained that it is exactly like a load of clothes.  BAM!  I could hardly breathe for the clean-laundry-loving juice pumping through my veins.

I arrived home that day to find three large garbage bags stuffed full of clothing in the loft.  Inquiring minds want to know, so I asked a few children if they knew what the bags were for.  Seems it was my same comforter-washing son.  He had gone through his closet AND dresser and removed all the clothing that was too small, stained, holey and nerdy.  Never in his 15 years has he performed this action.

Then I glanced in his room.  Miracle of miracles.  I could see the carpet under his bed!  It is usually hidden by piles of smelly shoes, biking gear, magazines, dirty and/or clean clothing.  It was spotless.  I was speechless! Unbelievable.  I thought it would take a college roommate or his wife to convince him of his slobbish ways.  I’m not sure what happened to bring about this change, and I’m not disturbing the force and asking any time soon.  The amazing thing is that it is still that clean… a month later.  It was like BAM! he grew up.

I was basking in the realization that 50% of my sons were now considered not slobs.  Wow!  I realize 50% is not a passing grade, but I was at 0% just a month ago.

THEN it happened.  I was in Walmart picking out avocados that were ripe to perfection when my cell phone rang.  It was my 13-year-old son inquiring how to launder his comforter.  I about dropped to the tile floor in Wally World in shock and disbelief.  I explained that it is exactly like a load of clothes.  BAM! I could hardly breathe for the clean-laundry-loving juice pumping through my veins.

But, unfortunately, that is as far as son #2 got in the goal of living a tidy, laundered, clean lifestyle.  But he’s two years ahead of his brother in the comforter category. Yet, I have hope.

 

My Salt & Pepper Boys

November 13, 2011

Sometimes life comes at you too fast.  Vividly I remember the days of two boys in diapers.  I remember my husband deciding that he was done paying for diapers and he pronounced that it was underwear time for the little man still sporting Huggies.  We went through a looooonnnng week of him wearing every pair of big-boy undies that he owned….. every day…. and the laundry going every night…. all week long.  Then I pronounced that we were paying for diapers for a while longer.  It simply doesn’t seem that long ago.  I remember yelling out the back door, “If you have to go potty, COME INSIDE! We’re not cavemen!”  I miss the stuttering and the lisp… long since missing from the family dinner table.  I STILL stand outside their bedroom door and listen to them talk to each other at night… just like I did 11 years ago when we first moved them together in the “boy’s room.”

Alas, this Friday, my little salt and pepper boys will be THIRTEEN and fifteen.  Teenagers.  Both of them.  How can that be since I’m still 27????  hahahaha. This great awakening caused me to take a jaunty trip down memory lane in the photo box.  Enjoy… my boys when they were little and cute and I dressed them the same.  Now they are big and cute and I rarely have a say in their clothing.  I AM happy that they aren’t “watering” my flowers any more….. at least that I am aware of.

 

And here they are NOW…… 

My Son wears Red Pants

November 7, 2010

Yes, it’s true.  I am nauseous.   (Get it, Nacho fans???)

My 14-year-old son found red jeans on a clearance rack and came home and asked if we could get them for him. (You didn’t have $5 in your wallet??)  “They fit really good! And the fabric is so soft!”  (NEVER thought I’d hear those words from him!) “And they are only $5!”  (There’s a logical reason why RED pants are only $5, son.)

Mostly out of curiosity, I took the lad to back to the store with the glowing clearance rack.  He bee-lined right to the R E D pants and pronounced, “See!  Here they are!”  (Like I couldn’t see the ONLY pair of cherry R E D pants on the rack..)  I inquired, “You’re sure you’re OK with red pants?”  Rolling eyes and head cocked to the side, “YES!”   So I did what any son-loving-mother would do.  I took the pants from the rack and held the waist in one hand and the bottom of the legs in the other……..  and held them above my head so the entire store could see the R E D pants…. and asked my son again, “Are you sure you’re OK with R E D pants.”  He ran away from the crazy woman holding the red pants above her head in the middle of the men’s department.  I didn’t think he was OK with it!

Yet, he took them to the dressing room and tried them on.  Oh, they were so bright.  My handy-dandy cell phone in hand, I took a picture of my 14-year-old son in R E D pants and sent it to his father…..  Moments later my phone rang.  “Wow!”  was all my husband said.  I asked, “Is your son allowed to wear R E D pants?”  He knowingly replied, “Maybe it would be good for him to be made fun of for once.”  Such fatherly wisdom:  Let the peers say what the parents can’t.  So I bought the $5 R E D pants.

I was envisioning Bob the Tomato, Superman and Ronald McDonald comments flung at my strong and brave son.  Maybe this would be good for him?  He’s been homeschooled his whole life and hasn’t had to face bullies (except me) or name calling (except normal sibling stuff.) 

Last night he bravely wore his R E D pants to church.  But, get this….. he usually matches a pair of Van tennis shoes with whatever he is wearing.  BUT he didn’t have red!  And turquoise was not going to make the cut.  So he borrowed his SISTER’S black Converse and proudly went to the junior high service. 

On our drive home I questioned, “So, did anyone say anything about your pants?”   “Yeah, quite a few people said they liked ’em.”  

Shoot.  No tomato jokes!  At least that he could hear!

“Hi, my name is Linda and I am the mother who lets her teenage son wear red pants.”  (There MUST be a therapy group for this!)

Has it Really Been a WEEK?

September 16, 2009

Hello Friends!  I feel like Madame Blueberry singing her song, “I’m so busy, busy, dreadfully busy, you’ve no idea what I have to do.”  It’s such a catchy, annoying tune.  Too bad I don’t know how to video tape myself singing it for you.

Scrapping in the Pines was fabulous as usual.  Four days of resting, eating, taking walks (shopping counts in there!), watching movies and chatting with the girlfriends.  It comes at such a great time of year too, right after school and sports have started.  Ahhhhhh.  The soothing memories occasionally last for almost a month!  It was an exciting time filled with centipedes, a skunk and Veronica’s four clothing changes per day.  Highly amusing!

My son, Austin, turned THIRTEEN on Monday.  I’m officially a mother of two teenagers.  I can’t be that old.  He is slowly catching up to his sister (who has only grown 1/8 of an inch in three years…. ) and me.  I’ve still got 5 inches on him, but it won’t last long.  His birthday request was a street hockey game with his homees.  It will be Friday night… pizza, hockey, cake and ice cream.  Makes for a good teenage induction evening.  Here is the most recent picture I have of Aus.

rick's phone 247 018

My husband’s mother and brother are here visiting for a week, so there is more cooking going on and less homeschooling.  But the visits are always full of laughter and good times.  They are already all sunburned from extended pool time… including my children.  How many times does a mother have to say, “RE-APPLY Sunscreen?”  Oh well.

Exciting news is that my Laughing in the Midst of Marriage book came hot off the press yesterday!  I should have a hot little copy in my hot little hand by Saturday!  So exciting.  This sort of crept up on me and I need to rock-n-roll to get it available on my website.  When I told the kids that it came out, Larisa said, “Congratulations!  You’re a published author.”  And Keeve added, “Again.”  So it’s not as thrilling as the first time, but thrilling nonetheless.  I’ll be sure to post pictures of the cute little purple books when they arrive.  Oh!  And I need to go buy a cute little purple shirt to match!… or a cute little purple jacket… at least good purple jewelry.  Any excuse to accessorize will work.

No adoption  news to report.  Please stay tuned.  I know I am.

I’m gearing up for the D6 Conference in Frisco, TX next week.  Not only do I get to speak, but I get to meet all the people at Randall House who work so diligently on my book!  I’m so excited!  And I just can’t hide it.  I’m about to lose control and I think I like it.  Like it.  I’m also looking forward to seeing Tim Hawkins.  He totally rocks my socks.  He’s so stinkin’ funny.  It’s not too late to join the festivities!  www.D6Conference.com Sept 23-25 just north of Dallas.  Come and be blessed.

Over and out.