Posts Tagged ‘waiting for the call’

When Part of your Heart is Away from Home

February 25, 2008

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My mind often wonders what our little three to four-year-old, black-haired girl looks like.  I’m assuming her hair is dark and her eyes are brown, but I’ve been wrong before when guessing the coloring of my children.  These are pictures of little Colombian girls, so she might resemble one of them.  Simply beautiful.  Each one.  Only God knows what she looks like at this point, but not a day goes by when I’m not wondering. 

I had the same experience when I was expecting each of our three kids – wondering about their appearance.  Two of the three times, I was VERY surprised by the looks of my babies.  How does a black-haired, olive-skinned, brown-eyed man and a brown-haired, fair-skinned, green-eyed woman have TWO blonde-haired, pale-faced, blue-eyed kids????  I imagine God laughing and saying to Peter, or Paul, or Mary… “Watch this.  I’m giving this couple two children that look nothing like them. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  Watch the looks on their faces!”

We have been told that our wait will be between 2 and 30 months. Why not just tell us, 2 and 600 months?  It feels the same.  Someone asked me yesterday if we are taking turns sitting by the phone, waiting for the call.  Nope.  Today is day 17…….. 43 days until the estimated earliest call.  I’m not sure if we’ll be hanging by the phone then either.  I’m the type who stays busy so the waiting doesn’t hurt so much.

The purple bed painting task was finished yesterday.  Oh, it’s darling.  I bought the box spring this week, so it’s ready to be put together.  I would love to get the room painted buttery yellow before the bed goes in.  It’s so much more convenient to paint an empty room.  (Anyone else ever stepped in the paint rolling tray in a cramped room full of furniture?) Will she like her yellow walls?  I hope so.  Will she color on her yellow walls? Probably. Will I be mad?  I don’t think so.

Adoption feels like a piece of me is missing, well, because it is.  I lost my heart in Colombia, even though I haven’t been there yet.  I wonder if this missing-ness grows as we wait.  Will it get so big that I jump with every ring of the phone?  Will our little black-haired angel eventually fill my thoughts, pushing out all else?  We’ll see.  I’m staying true to form.  I’ve never been good at waiting….