Posts Tagged ‘waiting parents’

No News is NOT Good News

September 2, 2009

School is underway and I am treading water with my head just sticking out of the water.  It’s hard to keep my mind from wandering off to Colombia and a sweet, little black-haired girl that is waiting for us to come and get her.  I keep thinking, Spelling and grammar are important but if the referral call comes, spelling and grammar are history, baby!  At least for a little while.  I made the most strictly structured schedule that has ever been in existence at L.A.K.E. Academy (our homeschool.)  L-arisa, A-ustin, K-eeve, and E…….  (Wouldn’t it be just like God to have Zaza’s name start with an E!?! )  The schedule is the only thing keeping school on track.  The boys check it regularly throughout the day and keep us on course.

We were supposed to have adoption news last week.  It didn’t materialize.  The next scheduled news about our case should be available next week… Sept. 10th, so we’re told.  Is it too much, after almost three years of waiting, to ask that our little girl is home before Christmas????  I had a hard time last year putting the kids’ birth ornaments on the tree without Zaza’s in the mix.  Another year with three stockings when we know there should be four.  Another year without Barbies under the tree.  {sigh}

I have this underlying anxiety currently.  I’m not sure what it means or where it comes from.  I hope it’s my maternal instincts kicking in to prepare for a new child.  We’ve cleaned, painted, scrubbed and wiped pretty much everything now.  If the call came tomorrow, I’m ready.  I try not to dwell on the time that we have been on the adoptive parent wait list in Bogota (19 months), but it does come to mind on nights like tonight.  The house is quiet.  There probably are three million things I could be doing, but I can’t concentrate on any one thing.  It’s like something or someone is missing…. because she is.

Come on, GOD!