Oh Canada!

There will be several more episodes to Kings Canyon Camping, but at the moment, there will be a halt in the story telling.  I fly out in the morning to my second homeland, Canada.  Yes, I’m a dual citizen, not because I married a Canadian, but because my mother is Canadian.  Voila!  Dual rights, baby.

As much as I would love to sit here and type out the camping shower fiasco, or the back-of-the-bus barfing game, or the roadkill bingo, I am in the midst of packing and planning.  If I have had the pleasure of speaking when you are in the audience, you know, as well as I do, that a good time was had by all.  To say that I love speaking is an understatement… it is what gives me purpose and life and liberty and justice for all. Amen.

However, (enter somewhat sinister music playing in the background) I have been challenged lately by our good Lord about many excesses and life’s circumstances in the cushy ol’ US of A.  It has broken down some barriers in my heart.  I used to half-proudly say that mercy and grace don’t show up on my “gifts” list.  But I have had glimpses of both in the last two years.  Orphans break my heart.  Hence, our quest to open our home to one darling Colombian.  Widows and widowers are starting to find a soft place in my heart.  Homeless people… displaced people… people simply having a rough go of it… and refugees.. and children who live on the streets.  There are so many needs surrounding us that it could be quite overwhelming.  But God gives us all the same amount of time…. 24 hours a day… to reach out to those in our circle of influence… and those who live just outside our comfortable circle.

So, all that to say, my speaking this coming Monday night in the Great White North will not be the fat-n-happy laughing times of old.  It has me a bit nervous.  I’m used to being liked.  This may go down … um… not pretty.  Pray for the women’s hearts to be opened to God’s will for their lives.  And pray, please, that I will say exactly what I’m supposed to say to bring awareness to some cushy lives, to make the cozy nests prickly, to awaken some dreams of good will, to stir some hearts toward the hurting, and quite possibly to open a mother’s eyes to her child who is on the other side of the world waiting for a mama.

It’s been at least five years since I’ve been in Zellers, The Real Canadian Superstore, Tim Horton’s or a Canadian Tire.  :o)  Should be a rockin’ good time, eh!

First Time EVER!

(Image scraplifted from: http://kellishouse.blogspot.com/2009/07/handmade-card-tutorial_30.html )

Yes, it’s that time of year again…. Scrapping in the Pines, our bi-annual scrapbooking retreat for four days in the cool pine-covered mountains of Prescott, Arizona.  There are seven of us going….. but this time I’m packing GAMES!  Yes, you read that right… GAMES!  Yahtzee, Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, 13 and Carcasonne!  We’ve never played games in Prescott! And movies, but we always take movies!

AND… please make sure you’re seated for this announcement… I’m not scrapbooking at Scrapping in the Pines!  I know!  Unbelievable.  I am making cards this trip.  I’m always a bit envious of my sister’s beautiful handmade cards that arrive in our mailbox several times a year.  Mine are usually handmade by a little Asian woman and purchased in a big box at Costco.  But after my third box of that type…. I have LOTS of baby and sympathy cards… but I’m fresh out of birthday cards … AGAIN  Enough! 

I scooted into Barnes & Noble tonight and bought a card making magazine….it cost as much as buying five cards at Hallmark, but it will be worth it’s weight in gold when I’m done.  All of my scrapping patterned paper, ribbons, buttons, eyelets, lace, trim, glitter, flowers and such will be making the journey.  Along with blank cards and envelopes.  I also resurrected the stamps, ink, embossing glitter, heat gun, and the metal embossing template!  What a blast from the past!  WAIT!  Inspiration just struck at this very moment… and you’re here to witness it first hand…. I can MAKE the envelopes!  Oh, sweet mother of baby Jesus, that is a great idea.  My aviator husband has all kinds of maps that will be perfect.  YES!

And so, it will be the first time EVER that this retreat should REALLY be called “Relaxing, Gaming and Crafting in the Pines.”  But we’re not changing the name after 15 years!

The Newly Released Female Phone-etic Alphabet

After yesterday’s comments about the phonetic alphabet and some back-chat from friends and relatives, I have discovered that the phonetic alphabet was created by a MAN at NATO.  (Benjamin Franklin actually came up with the idea, but it was shot down along with his idea of having the turkey as our national bird.) It was quite obviously a man as words included were bravo and whiskey.  I never understood foxtrot or tango???  Undoubtedly he was a dancing man who considered himself a Romeo and traveled to India to play golf under the code names Charlie and Mike.  Sheesh. 

Here is the NEW and IMPROVED FEMALE VERSION for those distinguished women who know what really matters in life.  Yes, I came up with this on my own.  See how valuable my college education was??? Please forward to any female pilots that you may know.  It should stir up some testosterone in the skies.

Aerobics, BlingBling, Chocolate, Diamonds, Earrings, Facial, Girlfriends, Handbag, ILoveYou, Jewelry, KissyKissy, Luncheon, Manicure, Nailpolish, OversizedPurse, Pedicure, QueenOfItAll, Rhinestones, Shopping, Telephone, Underwire, Vavoom, X-Your-Heart-Bra, YoMama, ZebraPrint

And thanks to my sister-in-law, Jennie, of www.bagsforzaza.blogspot.com, here are the numbers in the female version:

Onesie, Twofer, Three’sacrowd, Fourtunate, Fivefofum, SixyPixy, SevenEleven, Eightalltheicecream, NineIsTooLateToStartTryingToMakeUp, Tenuous

It just makes so much more sense, doesn’t it?

BlingBling YoMama Earrings! (The Navajo Code Talkers had nothin’ on us!)

Wanted: Moving Boxes

 

Recently I saw a video on YouTube where a man was describing the difference between the brains of men and women.  It was choice!  He described a woman’s brain as a conglomeration of interconnecting wires that have multiple pieces of information flying from here to there at all times.  I believe this is true…. even in my sleep I can’t turn off the thoughts and ideas.  I wake up at 3:27 in the morning and mentally add items to my grocery list.

Then he explained how a man’s brain functions, and I found it to be shockingly true as well.  He said there are many little boxes  in a man’s head.  Each one holds specific information for an event or idea.  But only one box can be opened at a time.  If a conversation shifts gears, he must close the first box in order to open the next box that applies.  AND, most importantly, the box that men usually have open is the empty box.  This explains a lot, doesn’t it, girls?

I used to think my dear husband was hearing impaired when I had to repeat things to him.  Now I realize that he was busy closing the empty box, so that he could open the box I was talking about.  No wonder he gets tired of having in-depth conversations with me!  Think of all the work involved! 

I let my daughter watch the video so that she would have a greater understanding of the opposite sex.  I wish I had known this truth when I was her age.  She laughed, but I thought that was the last of her response.  Au contraire.  On Sunday, we were driving to church and I asked Rick a question about our afternoon hockey activities.  No response.  After a few seconds, I heard a voice quietly drift from the back seat, “Close the empty box.  Open the hockey box.”  Of course Rick didn’t hear that because he was in mental motion.  Then he said, “What?”  And the females burst out with peals of laughter, bringing on another, “WHAT?”  He’s such a dear.  I love him to pieces.