Roadway Glamour Shots

Confession time again.  I received a speeding ticket for driving 48 mph in a 25 zone… in my dad’s 1966 shiny red Mustang.  It’s hard NOT to speed in that car, but at least the officer was cordial.  I did the crime and I paid my time in traffic school.  The instructor surprised me with the content of the class, where about 25% of my valuable time was spent hearing about how photo radar tickets are usually bunk.  He described how they are illegally taken from private property, how a signature is required to profess guilt and how the photos usually aren’t clear enough to prove the identity of the driver.  Being a lover of safety rules, I had a hard time with this, as you can imagine…. not the photo radar, but the instructor freely sharing the information on the city’s dime.

It was late at night when I arrived home after my graduation from traffic school and Rick, my dear husband, was giving me a hard time about breaking the law.  He was opening the mail as he harassed me…. and suddenly grew silent.  He was staring at a letter so I glanced over to see a PHOTO RADAR TICKET with HIS name on it.  OK, I laughed out loud at my husband.  Not a very supportive wife, I know.

To make an hilarious story short…. we drove down to the court house to view the picture (this was back in the day before they mailed them.)  The kind man handed us the picture and at that very moment Rick was wearing the exact same navy and yellow striped shirt that he sported for the roadway glamour shot.  In the picture he also had on his Top Gun Aviator Ray Ban sunglasses….. which were hanging from the front of his navy and yellow striped shirt.  I barely held in a giggle.  “I don’t think it looks like you,” I reassured my lawbreaking husband. 

He did the crime and paid the time.  Now what are the chances of showing up in the same clothes weeks later???  It was a moment worthy of Candid Camera.

Twenty-One Years of Sweet Righteous Monogamy

Today is our 21st anniversary.  I thought I would take a few moments to reminisce about May 9, 1987. 

It was a sunny day in Sunnyvale, California and the wedding was set for 2:00.  Rick came knocking at my parent’s front door at 9:00 a.m. for his wedding day haircut from me.  I’m sure he was adding up all the haircut money that he would save over his lifetime by marrying a woman who runs with scissors.

The photographer arrived at the house to take pictures of me, my family and the bridesmaids: Christy, Connie, Jan, Kathy and Deidre.  Most of them were taken in the bricked courtyard on white wrought iron chairs.  Arriving next at my parent’s home was Rick’s family… we all just looked at each other for a while……. they were misinformed about where they were to be for pictures, so they rushed off to the church.

The wedding party gathered at the church before the ceremony for pictures, so as not to make the guests wait later on.   Our church at that time was also a school so we were married in the sanctuasium.  I was walked slowly down the aisle right over the volleyball and basketball court where I spent many an athletic hour during high school.  Lunch was basically forgotten in the photography/wedding schedule and we ended up eating McDonald’s burgers in the girl’s locker room right before the ceremony.

Finally 2:00 arrived, the gym filled with friends and family.  Right before my dad and I entered, he turned to me and said, “If there’s any reason that you need to leave, I’ll go with you right now.”  Wasn’t that nice?!  My last out, but I declined the offer.  Thanks anyway, Dad.

It was a Canadian/American wedding, so we signed the registry for the Canadians and later I smashed cake in Rick’s face for the Americans.  I never told Rick ahead of time about the USA cake-smashing-in-face tradition until after the wedding.  The only glitch the entire day was that the dry ice melted before it was to be added to the punch fountain.

We said “I do.”  We kissed.  We greeted everyone in attendance.  We ate cake and listened to a few good stories from our past.  We threw the bouquet, garter belt and were out of there by 5:00 in my brother’s blue Corvette.  When our guests started throwing bird seed at us, my brother took off his tux jacket and tried to cover the T-top of his car.  :o)  Sorry, Rob. 

I do remember that my face totally hurt because of smiling for an entire day.  I think I’ll dig out the 21 year old video and pop some popcorn for tonight’s family entertainment.

Thanks, Rickey, for being my knight in shining armor, brave and true.  I love you.  XOXO Lin

?#14 from My Sister’s Jar - My Mom

What is the fondest memory you have of your mom?

An appropriate question for the week leading up to Mother’s Day.  Many are the fond memories in my mind of my mother.  I can’t pinpoint just one, so here are the top ten fond memories of Grace E. Nikander, my mother of 42 years.

10.  When she donned her orange karate outift several times …. when my high school friends were over…. complete with the high kicking demonstration.  (I need to get one of those outfits because my eldest is entering high school in September.  Heh heh heh.)  The picture is from around 1982 ish.

9.  When she painted an entire scenic background for a Easter pagaent at church, complete with three crosses on Golgotha, the town of  Jerusalem, rolling hills and cactus with ladybugs on them.  Detail should be her middle name.

8.  When she would yell, “You can do it, honey!” loudly at my basketball games when the fans were quiet because I was shooting a free throw. 

7.  When I arrived home with the news that I landed a job as a legal assistant for a family law attorney, and she responded, “We’re just lucky we’re cute.”  Yeah, Ma, brains had nothin’ to do with it.  :o)

6.  When she took the time to do my hair all fancy for Japanese day in first grade and I got my picture in the town paper stirring the fried rice with chop sticks.

5.  When she pulled over on the highway and ran across traffic to retrieve the head of my pinwheel that blew off after I stuck it out the station wagon window.

4.  When she figured out how to squeal the wheels on the station wagon in the church parking lot…. again … and even again.

3.  When we were vacationing in Klamath Falls, Oregon and she suggested that we buy some pop so we could burp.  (That was TRULY uncharacteristic for my proper Canadian, tea-sipping mother.)

2.  When she made rice-a-roni and hamburger every Monday night for 5 years in a row.

1.  When she lead me in the sinner’s prayer by my bedside when I was five years old and I asked Jesus into my heart.

Thanks, Mom.  You’re the BEST.  XOXOXO

Homeschool Humor

We are currently studying Native American Indians.  Today I was reading to the kids about the southwest Indians and their dependence on and ability to raise so many varieties of corn in this harsh landscape.  I had them dig through the pantry, fridge and cupboard to find all the food that includes corn.  It’s practically everything.  They each had to make something for lunch that included corn.  We had tortilla soup, hot dogs and corn chips.  Then I asked them what hominy is.  We are not from the south…. obviously.  Here are their profound answers:

“It’s when there are two people singing different notes that go together in a song.”   :o)    OK, that’s Harmony.  Close, but no prize for you.

“It’s the land where Puff the Magic Dragon lived.”   :o)   OK, that’s Honah Lee.  Close, but no prize for you.

And my favorite answer, with a twisted brow of confusion, “How many WHAT?”

Guess what we’re having for dinner?????

?#13 from My Sister’s Jar - Resisting Change

Tell about a time you resisted change and how it impacted your life.

The year was 1999 and we were looking for a church for our family.  We wanted a family oriented church, not too huge, where we could feel like we belonged.  Friends of ours invited us to a new church that was opening up, so we packed up the family and went.  My husband Rick loved it immediately.  He loved the preaching.  He loved the worship.  He loved all the new people to talk to.

I guess I didn’t resist the change to go to a new church… I just didn’t think THIS was the church and I sat unhappily in the pew for 18 months not feeling like I belonged.  Rick kept saying that I needed to go to set a good example for our three kids.  So I went.  I heard the sermons.  I was awed by the musicians.  I saw lots of new faces.  But I didn’t get involved at all. 

I’m not sure what jumped started my commitment to be a part of the new church family, but after 18 months I finally stepped out of my comfort zone to meet people and make friends.  One guy that Rick befriended told me years later that he thought I was a stiff, not friendly and no fun.  He couldn’t figure out how Rick got stuck with me.  :o)   Eventually he met the REAL me and we’ve laughed about it ever since.

My pew-sitting time impacted not only my life, but my husband’s life and the life of my children.  Admittedly, I was burned out from previous over-work and frustration in a previous church, but until I realized that I was the one who had to decide to smarten up, my attitude was pretty awful.  That ol’ hindsight saying came nipping at my heels yet again.  Why did it take me so long?  I don’t know.  What did I lose?  18 months of spiritual growth and untold friendships that slipped between my fingers while they were firmly folded in my lap.

We’ve now been at our church, Scottsdale First Assembly Dream Center, for over nine years and we love it.

Change is my friend.  Change is my friend.  Change is my friend.  :oP

Pre-Book Signing Nightmare

I’m normally a level headed woman who deals with new situations and opportunities with glee.  I thought I was handling the pressure of my first book signing (for Laughter in the Midst of Mothering…….  www.LindaCrosby.com)  but I realized when I awoke from my nightmare that I must have been suppressing inner turmoil about the event.  The dream was entertaining, however.

I dreampt that the alarm was not set and I overslept.  The air got sucked out of my lungs as I realized my dilemma.  The book signing started at 11:00 a.m. and in my dream I awoke at 12:15 confused and flustered.  IT WAS SO REAL!  I couldn’t figure out if it was 3:00 or 12:15…. you know, because the clock hands could be reversed….funny how your mind plays trick on you even in your sleep.  Then my father called me from his cell phone at the book store to ask where I was and to tell me that the highway north of us was flooded and I would need to go the long way around.  I was sobbing and mumbling. 

I went to find my husband, whose fault it was for not setting the alarm, and he was watching a movie in a theater room that we don’t have.  I told him over and over that we were late and he was to blame.  His eyes were glued to the big screen.  He didn’t seem too interested in my plight.  So I went over and beat on him with the back of my wrists…. you know…. like an orangutan.  (Dreams are great, aren’t they??)  Next, I went up stairs, did my hair and threw on my clothes…. crying all the while.  Back downstairs I went again to tell Rick he had to drive so I could apply my make-up in the van.  He had moved to the workout room that we don’t have and was busy clanging weights…. not listening to me.  Another primate beating occurred. 

Then I woke up.  It was over.  I hadn’t acted like a monkey.  The alarm was set.  My husband was asleep next to me… and he didn’t buy a theater room or gym without asking me first…. and there was time to make it to the book signing.  Whew.

If someone out there has another dream interpretation other than pre-book signing jitters, I’d love to hear it.

Sweet Dreams.

?#12 from My Sister’s Jar - Family Dinner

What is one tradition you had growing up that you’d like to continue?

Family dinner around the table!  I have always loved this time together as a family.  I remember it vividly from my childhood…. If it was 6:00 p.m. you better be at the table!  We were always there Monday - Friday and sometimes on Saturday.  I recall having many visitors join our family dinners… and enjoy the conversation, the food and the fun as much as we did. 

There were rituals we could expect.  One was the answer to Dad’s question, “Guess what I had for lunch today?”  It was ALWAYS the exact menu that Mom was serving that night.  It didn’t happen too often, but the three of us kids thought it was funny.  It wasn’t a complaint, just a comical coincidence.  There was also the bowl of corn that was repeatedly discovered in the microwave after we finished eating.  And the day-old Twinkies with the black line across the box.  MMMmmmmmm.

There was much instruction given during dinner about appropriate behavior which became known as “vacation behavior.”  That was the utmost level of supreme obedience.  There was conservation topics covered, like the aforementioned toilet paper scrunching discussion, saving water, shorter showers, more wearing of jeans and less laundry loads. 

There weren’t many family dinners that I remember having to endure, except for the night my brother’s new two-tone blue, T-top Corvette got hit.  We all sat in silence pushing our food around our plates, too upset to eat.

I have vehemently guarded family dinner in our home, but much to my chagrin, it has not been as successful as I always imagined it would be.  Schedules seem to interfere…. hockey, work, church….    But I will continue to call the youngsters together with their mother and father and sit, pray, eat, laugh and just BE together around the family dinner table.  I believe it provides stability.  A safe place to belong.  Long live the family dinner table.

Frugality at its Finest

Deep in my heart I feel that Mr. Wallet deserves more than just a single blog entry to hail his genius attempts at saving money.  (See Mr. Economical from a few days back.)  Early on in our marriage, Loverboy would buy cards and write lovey-dovey sentiments in them that would make my eyes mist and my heart pitter-patter… BUT he never wrote my name on the envelopes NOR licked them shut.  Why would you waste an envelope on only one recipient????  (Not like the next gas station greeting card didn’t have its own personal envelope.)  I asked Rick if he didn’t think I was worthy of using up an entire envelope’s life.  He realized the error of his ways. 

With the knowledge of my envelope-worthiness in mind, Reeko Suave continued to buy cards for his loving wife… and he started licking just the teeny-tiny tip of the sticky point…. to prove his undying passion for me.  I again asked if I was not envelope worthy.

Next, Casanova finally began writing my very own name on the front of the envelope…. in itty-bitty letters…. in the top right corner…. that could eventually be covered by a postage stamp.  Where does this kind of thinking come from???  He’s too young to remember the Despression era. AGAIN, I explained that my self worth was plummeting with every postage-stamp-sized depiction bearing my name.  The light finally went on.

The envelopes given to me since that time have BIG letters L-I-N-D-A on them, with pictures drawn of birthday cakes and bunnies and Easter eggs…. or balloons where the string is a line of loving sentiments swirling around the front of the envelope.  Rickey has come full circle and I have arrived and am now worthy an entire envelope. Thank you very much.

Use Drugs and get FREE Goods

Has anyone else caught onto the FREE Gift Cards when you transfer your prescriptions?  I have a monthly script to fill and I am making at least $10 a month if not up to $30 a month by transfering it from pharmacy to pharmacy to pharmacy.  The coupons are in the Sunday paper from CVS, Walgreens, Target, Safeway and Albertsons.  Of course, I have to keep track of it all in my daily planner or I don’t remember where it currently is.  Last month I did a FREE $30 Albertson’s gift card and then used coupons combined with their store sales and got TONS (that would be 2,000 pounds) of FREE groceries.  Specifically cereal, granola bars, popcorn and yogurt.  This month I’m going to CVS for $25.  Yes, I learned all this from Coupon Sense.  They rock my socks.

Shop Strong, Sistahs!

Website Update

Sorry, if you tried www.LindaCrosby.com and found nothing.  It is updating today.  Try  www.LindaCrosby.org for most of the available pages.  They will all be working this week. 

Blessings, Linda